Does your spouse work shift work ?

simply_sheliaApril 20, 2003

My DH works shift work and when he works nights I never sleep.For instance I'mup and down all night,or I'll stay up till the wee hours then finally crash which isn't good cause I have to get up pretty early to care for my 2 young sons.It's not quite so bad when my DD whose 18 is home but she's been at her dads out of town the past 2 nights and I have been up really late.It didn't bother me quite as bad up until this past year because we lived right in the middle of town which is about 7,000 people and I felt pretty safe.We had good neighbors that looked out for each other and I was very close to the police station.

But since moving into the country I'm really uneasy at night.I don't know why really.My in-laws live right across the hwy from me and they are good people.I grew up living in the country and couldn't wait to get back to it.I guess maybe it's because I'm the protector when DH works nights and my dad was always home at night as a kid so I felt very safe.Am I just a big chicken?I hate feeling like this.And at this paticular time since they lost one employee they are splitting this guys shift so he's working alot.Daytime I don't mind but I hate the nights.Does anyone else have this problem?I feel rediculous. It's already 1am and here I sit.

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My DH worked 2nd and 3rd shift for quite a while - he was a mail handler at the USPS. He started when my son was about 6 months old, my daughter was about 2. We lived in a neighborhood that wasn't so great. We had some nice neighbors who did look out for each other, but weren't quite the type you could count on.

It's funny - I was never the type to get scared at night alone, anywhere, till I had kids. I grew up in the 'burbs. But I know what you mean about feeling "funny" alone at night.

Do yourself a favor and invest in a security system. Seriously! Just the sign in the yard means a lot. In the country, response times may not be the greatest, but if someone tries to break in they'll get a loud alarm to scare them away and alert you. They're not expensive. Lots of alarm companies offer free installation with a year or two of monitoring, which is about $35/month.

You also need to keep to a set schedule for your family, no matter what schedule your husband keeps. Get up, serve meals, and go to bed at the same time regardless of his schedule. Chances are you can have at least one meal together even so, and that'll become your family meal, even if it's breakfast when he's about to go to bed. Don't change your family's schedule to accomodate his. Make allowances so he won't feel cast out, but resist the impulse to "shift work" with him. Make sense?

    Bookmark   April 20, 2003 at 2:25AM
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Thanks pkock.Yes it does make sense.I do have a security system but as rediculous as it sounds I haven't been setting it.Don't ask me why I don't know.It was here when we bought the house and I had no idea how it sounded until the guy came out to change the code and set it off.OH MY GOD!I think i have a fear of it going off and being so panicked that I won't remember how to work it.Does that sound stupid?Ok , I'm going to go set the alarm right now!
OK the alarm is set!Thanks for pep talk.

    Bookmark   April 20, 2003 at 2:45AM
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My husband works a variety of shift and has for the last 15 years. It is difficult on family life. I felt an awful lot like a single Mom for years. It's much easier now that our son is an adult.

I use to get scared, and now I can sleep through anything. I think when you have young kids you are more tuned in to waking anytime you hear something. I just made a decision years ago that I wasn't going to play into my fears. What is going to happen will. Just take the best precautions you can and keep a schedule. We ate at the same time, and did the normal things. He had to fit in the best he could. Now, we try to eat around his schedule because we don't have sleep schedules, sports, etc. It is MUCH easier when your kids grow up. Especially if you don't work or have a flexible schedule.

If you don't have a dog, that might be a good idea too. Our neighborhood watch officer felt that a dog was better than an alarm. I feel much more secure just having them around. It doensn't feel like an empty house when he's gone.

    Bookmark   April 25, 2003 at 12:09PM
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My husband use to go abroad for business and left me alone with the children. Nights were frightening when every sound we heard was "someone trying to get into the house." Talk about being a scardy cat! We lost all our fears after we found our wonderful Rottweiler. She felt her only duty in life was to watch over us. I believe you would find a great sense of security with a dog.

    Bookmark   May 17, 2003 at 2:31AM
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