Do you still find your partner sexy/attractive?

vicki_IndianaApril 20, 2002

Many lose that spark out of their marriage within the first 5 yrs of being together, and most regain it back with no problems but, some don't. When looking at your spouse/partner do you still find them attractive, or do you just love them and not care so much about what they look like? How important is looks to you within the marriage?

I find them to be important to some extent but, only in the respect that he don't let himself go. IF he chooses to let himself go.. I will then find a way to be kind and say "honey, you really need to take a shower.. it's been 2 weeks since you smelled good.. and that usually does the job.. !! HAHAHAHA!!! Just teasin all.. My hubby takes a shower at least once a week... LOL..LOL.. (again teasin)

OH well... On with the show..

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Sometimes I tease my husband, asking him what he'd do if I quit shaving, gained hundreds of pounds, something silly like that...and he always says with a smile "I'll still love you, just less often." :) That's what I get for asking silly questions!
We're still newlyweds, but have been together a total of 3.5 years. I can't imagine ever not finding him the most attractive man I have ever met. He's everything and more that I wanted in my husband and best friend.

    Bookmark   April 20, 2002 at 5:35AM
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Yea, I've been married for22 yrs.2nd marriage. The spark is still there, alive and well and I find him still good looking and sexy(sometimes I miss the longer dark brown hair, now it's short and grayish'white). But he still makes love like he was 30, just a little less often.

    Bookmark   April 20, 2002 at 8:16PM
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Been married 28 years. I don't know what he really looks like to others. He is a part of me. That's like saying - do you find your hand attractive!!! He is gray, balding, carrying a tummy. The skin has lost its soft tones and settled into wrinkles here and there. The jokes are old, but comforting. His arms are still strong enough to take away all the pain of a trying day just by holding me. His smile can still light up my heart and he can still make me melt!!! When I look into his eyes, I can see his soul, his vulnerability, joy, sorrow!!! Maybe the years haven't been so good to our appearance. If they started to lift all the things on me that need lifting, it would probably reach the stars. But the years have been wonderful for our us. We have shared joys and sorrows, new life and loss of family, known sickness and health, success and disappointments. Held each other up when the world seemed to want to knock us down. Does he still turn me on? In ways I never even imagined when I was young.

    Bookmark   April 21, 2002 at 7:26AM
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Rosie, that was beautiful. You should share that with him.
Very touching.

    Bookmark   April 22, 2002 at 12:08AM
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Awww, such great words guys.. Rosie, that was absolutely beautiful... It's great when you know that he is the one who you will grow old with, and then, you realize that you already have!!!

I can honestly say that my husband is as attractive to me today, as he was 26 yrs ago... He really looks good still and if anything is gone it's our youth and that is a good thing compared to what we have gained...

    Bookmark   April 22, 2002 at 9:10AM
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You made me tear up. That was a wonderful declaration of true love. There's not much left to say except that yes, I still find my sweetie attractive.

    Bookmark   April 22, 2002 at 11:41AM
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oh yeah!

    Bookmark   April 22, 2002 at 8:07PM
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DH is too tall and gangly to be sexy, but attractive? yep, that's my dude and he still does it for me ;o)

    Bookmark   April 23, 2002 at 3:05PM
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Hi, I'm new here, but I loved your post, Rosie. Thanks for that.
I've been married almost four years this coming July for the 2nd time; we're in our late 40's/early 50's now. My husband makes my heart skip a beat every time I see him. I think he's the sexiest, most handsome man alive - I'm not sure what he looks like to others, but to me he's all I'll ever want or need.


    Bookmark   April 23, 2002 at 4:11PM
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After 22 years of marriage, she STILL makes my mouth water. Maybe more so now then when we were younger.

    Bookmark   April 23, 2002 at 6:25PM
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Are we talking about your WIFE, or a piece of Steak?? LOL...

( just kidding you ) I thought that was a sweet analogy!!

    Bookmark   April 24, 2002 at 8:55AM
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Well.....both. One does the same thing to either........when one's done cooking them :)

    Bookmark   April 24, 2002 at 5:41PM
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WHen you love someone from the heart and not the eyes, yes. Dh, standing buck naked except for th socks (can't be without socks you know), donelap belly (it definatly done laps over the belt), doesn't exactly fit most people's idea of sexy, okay and maybe not attractive, but I look at him and see the dad who still worries about where the kids are when it's dark. The grandpa to be who wanted a rocker for christmas so he could be the rocking grandpa, and the ...ah heck, rosie said it all and best. He still makes me tingle, Don't think I could ask for more.


    Bookmark   April 26, 2002 at 7:32AM
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder........doesn't matter what other people think. I love her with my heart. I devoure her with my soul. There is also another part that figures keeps the bond strong. We have been together for 25 years. I think that we are way past the "looks" least I am. She is my Queen and I treat her that way.

    Bookmark   April 26, 2002 at 5:37PM
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Awww... Vickey, and Kevin... you two just described it so well... I loved that queen thing!!!

    Bookmark   April 27, 2002 at 2:55PM
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I never really found my DH to be attractive on the outside but inside he was a real man!Hardworking, kind,sensitive,easy-going,wonderful dad,god-fearing,and a good listener(most times).But I'm not the cute little thing I was 7 yrs ago either thanks to stressful times .Maybe one day we can again focus on us.I prayed for god to bring a man into my life just like my daddy and he did.I didn't ask for looks or riches so I didn't get it.LOL.

    Bookmark   November 15, 2002 at 9:56AM
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Rosie.I hope you are still around so I can tell you that your statement above warmed my heart as it is exactly how I feel about my Beloved....You just said it all....

    Bookmark   December 20, 2002 at 5:53PM
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Wow, I read Rosie's declaration of her love for her Dh and just cried.... for joy, mind you, but my eyes are still misty.

DH and I have been married for 5 1/2 years, and I still find him very attractive and very, very sexy. Maybe others wouldn't see him that way, but who cares?? He's my guy adn I love him!


    Bookmark   January 9, 2003 at 9:01PM
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Rosy's post made me cry too. I am glad that I am not alone. Where are those tissues?

    Bookmark   January 10, 2003 at 2:31PM
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Me too, sob, gotta quit now, can't see to type!

    Bookmark   January 10, 2003 at 5:56PM
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I find him sexy and wonderful ... he's my hunka-hunka burnin' love! As time goes by, our attraction to each other seems to increase ..... We've actually had people (strangers, no less!) tell us "you two seem so in love" ... Just like the first real "date" we had ... it was a rather LARGE holiday party, yet there was nobody else on the dance floor except us, gazing into each other's eyes and nuzzling ... we still do that ... (sigh) ... still can't keep our hands off each other! Sometimes we put a love song on the stereo and slow dance. The kids will come in and say "oh gross, they're doing it again"! hee hee!

    Bookmark   February 19, 2003 at 12:38AM
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I have a friend who works at the mall.

Two weeks ago, DH, DD and I stopped in to shop and we said hello, and I introduced her to my DH.

Last week, I was by the store again, and my friend said, "Wow! I have to tell you. Your husband is a HUNK!"

I always knew he was good looking (and IMHO has a cute butt) but that was very cool to hear, after 12 years of marriage!!!

    Bookmark   February 19, 2003 at 8:10AM
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If you haven't seen the movie "Shallow Hal" do it. At first I thought it was going to be the most repulsive, sexist thing I had ever seen...then it changed. Half way through the movie the meaning changed. When Hal went from seeing the exterior of the person to seeing their hearts. DW didn't like it, but I did.

Sexy and attractive to some is about being "eye candy". Like the models in magazines and adds. They aren't real, just a picture. A spouse is real and forever. Like Rosie said "a part of you".

Sometimes I wonder if someone is having questions about their own attractiveness, could that be imposed on their view of their spouse? After all they are a part of you. Just a thought

    Bookmark   March 2, 2003 at 4:49AM
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Rosie, what a wonderful heartfelt tribute! Your words were so beautiful, thank you for sharing.

Yes, my hubby still "does it" for me. I love him with all of my heart and soul. We will celebrate our 7th anniversary this month and I love him now more than I ever could have imagined. He is a wonderful man, a fantastic father and a great cook. He does laundry, mops, cooks, cleans bathrooms, tucks the kids in at night. He is wonderful. Every morning when he gets up at 5 am to go to work he puts an extra blanket on me to keep me warm and kisses me goodby. I don't always remember it when I wake up, but I always know he did it. He calls me just to say hello every morning at 9:30 (you could set a clock by his call). He never forgets an anniversary, a birthday, a song or a special moment. He is as honest as the pope, I trust him more than I do myself. He is the most unbelieveable man I've ever known. I love him so deeply.

He adopted my daughter when we got married without hesitation. He is forgiving (for I am not perfect) and supportive. He goes along with my crazy ideas and never gives up on me! He loves me and I know it. It feels great!!

So, that being said, how could I *not* find him sexy?

    Bookmark   March 4, 2003 at 11:56PM
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i only wanted to have children with my first love. it's nothing to do so much with looks as he is my best friend, someone i want to grow old with...

    Bookmark   August 22, 2003 at 3:50PM
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Attractive yes, hot & sexy like when we first met - Nah!, but I can say I'm not the tone size 5 I used to be 10 yrs ago either. Oh well.

    Bookmark   April 7, 2004 at 9:44PM
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My helpmeet looks different than he did 19 years ago, but so do I. The eyes are still the same; bright, clear, and piercing, full of fun and humor. The flesh is less firm than it once was... but hey, that's what happens. A genetically guaranteed athletic frame makes the ageing process gentler, though, I think...

Mostly though, the intelligence, humor, and quick wit are more refined now than they were then. Nothing is sexier or more attractive to me than intelligent, carefully considered opinions, compassion, empathy, and a rapier sense of humor.

My life has been infinitely enriched for the time we've invested in each other. And the words of others remind me that they, too, view marriage the same way. Thanks!

    Bookmark   April 11, 2004 at 11:07AM
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Married 40 years. Absolutely, adore my husband and I think it's reciprocal. Couldn't live without him Recently, we had a conversation about what we would we do without one another but decided we had a good run and would have to deal with it. We've had more than most people have in a lifetime.

    Bookmark   May 1, 2004 at 8:42PM
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After 19 years, I still love the way he smells (even after a hard days work) and his green eyes are still beautiful (especially when he smiles...:)

    Bookmark   May 3, 2004 at 12:56PM
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My husband gets more attractive inside and out every year.
After 30 years he is more compassionate, sensitive, attuned to others and generous than he was at age 25. His sense of humor still makes me laugh till I feel like I have to pee; dancing with him makes me warm and gooey; and he is the first person I ask when I don't understand something or need feedback.

He surprises me with flowers on my breakfast tray, kisses while I blow dry my hair and praises everything I do for him , even when it's a complate failure. When you marry your best friend, confidante and lover, the feeling never go away, they just get better year after year after year.

    Bookmark   June 13, 2004 at 10:52AM
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