menopausal fiance

gusserJune 13, 2009

Hi All,

My fiance is is in about her third year of peri-menopause. She has really tough periods with cramps that she cannot work for a day or two and very heavy flow. She went on HRT for about 6 months but it raised her blood pressure and she is not liking to taking pills anyway. I should say that I am 39 and she is 56. Also, I am a biochemist and I know the biological aspects, but CLEARLY, not the mental ones. So she has lost all interest in sex. She makes references to "this will be our romantic weekend" but nothing ever happens. I've been to a counselor and I realize that men connect to women through sex but I'm feeling like she doesnt even care about me anymore. There is no interest at all, sometimes I have to beg for a long kiss. I'm really confused.

I am planning to marry this woman and just was wondering if my sex life is over at 39. thanks for any input.

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Hi gusser,

First of all, I know what you're going through, and I feel your pain. I'm a woman, 53, my BF is 43, and we've been together for over two years. I have been going through the same problems as your Fiance', but my first concern is WHY would a Dr. prescribe HRT when she's still having periods, that is totally wrong, they usually don't give you HRT, until you're done w/ having periods. I was having periods every two weeks and bleeding heavily, this went on for a year, and finally after seeing numerous Dr. I found an OB/GYN that preformed an Endometrial Ablation, and my perods have gone back to normal, and I have one, then skip a month, etc. She really needs to have a thorough exam,ultrasound and get to the bottom of these problems.Usually the heavy bleeding is caused by Fibroids, and having the procedure will, get rid of them, but, they do grow back, unless they are removed surgically. I know this is very frustrating for both of you.

Now, about the not seeming interested, that I believe is due to a Hormonal
Imbalance, she needs to have her hormones checked, that can be done with bloodwork. Women's Sex drive comes from Testastrone(spelling?)and she could be low in that hormone and/or producing too much estrogen. Urge your Fiance to go and seek a Good OB/GYN and have her write down all the problems she's having, they'll get to the bottom of this, there's no reason for her to suffer like this. Good Luck!

    Bookmark   June 13, 2009 at 2:51PM
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thank you earthygal. She has had fibroids and uterine biopsies to no avail. Poor thing is about to have another 10 days of hell. HRT was supposed to regulate her. I'm afraid of her getting the ablation! Seems so radical. But thanks for your thoughts, i'll pass them on. Good luck.


    Bookmark   June 16, 2009 at 2:00AM
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I understand your concern's w/ the Endometrial Ablation but, if she doesn't plan on having any kids, it's very safe, and it will end the horrible cramps and bleeding.I don't know where you live, but, I really urge you to talk to her and another alternative, is for her to get on a low dose of Birth control. Don't give up maybe, she really needs to seek another opinion.

    Bookmark   June 20, 2009 at 1:25PM
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