A sexless marriage
I would love to hear from other women who are in a similar marriage, or have been in a similar marriage, as I am. Particularly I would love to hear how you coped with it--whether you divorced, considered divorce but stayed for the kids or for other reasons, found a lover, took long showers, (smile) etc.
I have been married for 23 years to a very kind man and a good father. However, he has an extremely low sex drive and refuses to talk much about it, seek help of any kind, etc. I have tried for years to try and change things (why is it that intellectually we know we cannot change someone else, or make someone else do something they do not want to do, but we try anyway?) I knew he had a much lower sex drive than myself when we married, but I convinced myself I could change things and after all, how shallow is that, to not get married to someone you love and you have so much in common with because your sex drives do not match? After all, there is so much more to marriage than sex, right? Well, no one told me that sure, sex is not everything...until!!! Until it becomes a problem...then it becomes EXTREMELY important...and problems with intimacy will inevitably begin to wear on the marriage and create voids...no matter how much you love each other...it just does.
We have not had sex since my youngest was born...he is turning eleven in July.
Needless to say, my marriage is sibling like at best. I care very much for him, but I really don't know if I can say I love him still. I do not carry the anger and hurt and frustration on my sleeve, but certainly it is there...
It is very difficult for me to consider divorce because I really hate to put my kids through a divorce. I realize there are many ways to look at this...and every situation can be different.
How do other women deal with a sexless marriage?
Thanks for listening.