Is it still abuse
I have been married to my husband for nearly three years. At first everything was great but after my daughter was born, my husband started having outbursts where he would scream and rant at me for hours on end. At first, i tried to find out what was making him angry and suggest ways to help him control his temper but nothing worked. This continued until my second daughter was born in oct. of 09. After that, he began spitting on me and calling me all kinds of names. Anything and everything that went wrong was my fault or was the fault of everyone else around him. I had given up trying to help him find ways to handle his anger because nothing ever seemed to work. Finally, one day he hit me. I left him the next day but came back when he promised to get some professional help. His idea of help was to take a pill for a month then tell me that it wasn't working. Since then, he blows up at the slightest things and cusses at me and my children. He often hits me and drags me around by my hair. Anytime I try to leave, call for help, or just get out of the house, he takes my phone or throws me around until I stop trying to do anything. Afterwards, he sits there yelling at me and telling me all the things that i did to make him hurt me until he calms down and begins trying to get me to talk to him. It is to the point that when he starts screaming, no matter what the reason, I cower on the couch and my two year old daughter runs from the room screaming. I want to leave but I am kind of confused. Whenever he goes to far and actually starts hitting on me, I fight back. I never hurt him but i do get him off of me. I never instigate the fight and most of the time it just try to avoid him but if he does more than just slap me around a little, I push him away and get him away from me. This may seem pretty clear cut but it makes me wonder if what he does is still considered abuse or if it is like he says and it isn't because i am capable and do fight back.