I am really lonely
I posted before about the lack of sex in my marriage and that is a big part of it. But if my husband would be more affectionate it wouldn't be impossible. You know, if he would give me hugs when I leave for work or things like that. There isn't ANY expression of affection or closeness and I guess that is because there isn't any of that any more. I just hate that!
I've been thinking a lot since I posted before about what you people said in your answers and also things that have happened. I think the thing that is killing me is that I'm just so lonely. I didn't think you would be lonely if you were married. But I really am.
I go to work every day and I'm gone from home for over 10 hours. My husband is retired and he has lots of friends. A lot of times he isn't home when I get there. He is out with his friends. On weekends he usually spends most of the days with his friends. He is usually gone from before I get up til 3 or 4 in the afternoon. Well, what do you think? I think he doesn't really want to be with me. I usually spend the weekends cleaning the house and doing chores like grocery shopping, laundry or cooking ahead for the week. It isn't a lot of fun really but it has to be done. If I don't do those things on the weekends they just don't get done. I can't stand to live in a nasty house so I do it even though it isn't my idea of a fun weekend.
We don't fight or argue. Neither one of us enjoys that. And we usually just have a little conversation when he gets home in the evening about what we did all day and such. And then it's separate corners. He sits in front of the TV and goes to sleep. I go online or read or sit on the porch.
More and more we are sleeping in separate rooms. He was just staying on the couch in the living room - it's pretty comfy. But lately one or other of us has been going to the guest room. I go because he kicks. He snores and I don't really mind that. I grew up with a Daddy who snored and it was kind of comforting, you know? But when my husband snores he kicks. When he makes a loud noise he wiggles around and usually kicks me - as if it was me who was making the noise. He says I snore and maybe I do. I don't know cause I'm asleep. But I know he does and he kicks. So when he is already in bed I will usually go to the guest room. Sometimes he does that too when I go to bed before he does.
Anyway, I'm just so lonesome. There are people at work that I know. We don't socialize after work. And that's o.k. because they are mostly nuts. A strange group! Because I work so many hours I don't really have time to socialize with anyone else. And I come home to my husband who isn't there.
Is there a way to do something about this? I kinda know everybody is going to say "talk to him" but that isn't really practical. He really doesn't want to talk about things like this. I don't know how to explain it - it's like there is a shield up or something. You just don't GO THERE. Maybe talking about it is the answer but I really don't want to do it. I don't want to make things worse. And he really seems o.k. with how things are. He can afford to make things worse but I can't if you know what I mean.