husband always wants to fight
I apologize if this is similar to older posts, I tried a search and didn't find anything close to my problem.
I've been married for 6 1/2 years. My husband consistently starts fights with me, or is angry with me about something, at least once per week. When he does get angry or start a fight, he won't talk to me for a minimum of 2-3 days. Most of the time I have to apologize to "smooth things over", but lots of times I don't even know why I'm apologizing. I'm not saying he never apologizes, but let's jsut say it's certainly lopsided on who has to apologize to who.
He will pick fights right before important events (ie: tonight, we were supposed to have a date night, and he picked a fight 3 hours before, and told me to have a nice night on my own). I would say most weekends we go the entire weekend without talking because of his anger. I rarely or almost never start a fight (because I know that means he wont talk to me for 2-3 days, even if it's something i'm upset about).
I don't even know what's right or wrong anymore. I'm confused, tired of fighting, angry, sad, etc. When I ask him if it's more important to have a good marriage, or more important to fight....he'll tell me that i've angered him over whatever issue he's found that day, and that it's more important that i fix that issue. I'm sick of the fighting.
Yes we've tried marriage counseling. No it didn't work. He quit attending several times, because he got angry about what the counselors would suggest or say. He's punched holes in the walls, thrown things across the house, yells, or even worse...he just emotionally 'checks out' for days and doesn't acknowledge my existence in the house.
I don't know if this makes sense, or if I've given enough information. My first time posting anywhere. Any input from married people would be appreciated. Is this normal for someone to be angry this much at their wife?