Marriage, Divorce, Love
I am 45 and have been married for almost 20 years. We have 3 daughters. I "love" my husband but am not "in love" with him but he is very verbally abusive to me and the family. He is now trying to do better because I told him that I wanted a divorce. We have been down the "I will change" path many times before only for it to go back to the same old thing. I feel like I settled with him. DonÂt get me wrong he is a wonderful person and provider (I have also always worked and I like it that way). With everything going on in our marriage I have another issueÂ I am still in love with my boyfriend from 26+ years ago. We quit talking because it was a long distance relationship and I was not willing to relocate. I was never able to get him out of my head and/or heart. I looked him up about 11 years ago. We talked all of the time and it did not take long for both of us to confess that neither of us had gotten over the other. He is also married with 2 children. We saw each other over a weekend and it just confirmed our feelings but neither of us was willing to split our families apart. We talked for a while after that and then I had to let go because it just hurt so much. I have never quit thinking about him and have always referred to him as the one I should have married and I do truly believe that. The positive of my current marriage is that I have 3 wonderful daughters that I would not have. I contacted my friend again after 11 years about 2 months ago. It was like we never missed anything. He can still read me like a book even over the phone or email. We are hundreds of miles apart (that is a good thing) but have this love and passion for each other that is like nothing I have experienced with anyone else. I do not think he is happy in his marriage (well, I know there are issues I just will not go there) but he comes from a very strong family and is a loyal person. I am not saying that I am not loyal either because I am! I would never ask him or even hint to him that I want him to leave his wife. We text, email and talk all of the time. We talk about everything. He accepts me for who I am and I do him. We have both aged but I could careless about his outward appearance (but he is still very handsome). I am 45 and was always taught to take care of myself so I am ok with my own looks. I am going to divorce my current husband because I canÂt keep teaching my girls that it is ok to be treated the way their father treats me. I donÂt know what to do with my friend. I feel like I canÂt live without him but I do not want to be the cause of his marriage ending. We just have this bond that is unbelievable. Any advice would be wonderful!