Emotional Affair(him) and (me)drinking Help!!
Sorry, this is long!...married for a little over a year now, been living together for 6 yrs.
ME:I used to drink a lot (at parties, holidays etc.)which caused a lot of arguments, latest one, New Years Eve.
HIM:I cought him texting his ex-girfriend about 100 times a month average for the first three and a half years of us living together. He promised to stop, and so far I think he has, no I am not delusional, I have not seen any thing that might tell me he is still in contact with her, he says nothing sexual happened...
The latest argument (last night) was about his refusal to put my name on his house, he says he does not want his kids to get screwed over, I tell him that if something happens to him, I will be kicked out of the house, and I would have no place to live, I have said to him many times before, that it is not the house that I want, just the security of knowing I would have a place to live if something happened to him!
I would not, if we ever got a divorce, fight him for the house, our estate laws would automatically give it to him, since he owned it before we got married, and I have told him this many times!!
Any way, as he has done before, he turned it around and started mentioning my drinking, I made a fool of myself new years eve and I have promised him that I will quit drinking, he does not belive me, I dont blame him, I have said that before, but this time I mean it and dont know how to get hime to belive me, I have cried wolf to may times!! I am willing to go to AA meetings if that is what it takes (I will tell him that tonight) He says he loves me, but not like he wants to, he is thinking about ending the marriage and I know that would just kill me!! I have had a lot of bad relationships before and I cant help to think something is wrong with me!! All the other relationships did not involved me drinking, it all started after my last divorce when I found out my ex-husband molested two of my daugthers, he (my now H) knew about my drinking and all about my past. I used drinking to ease the pain, I really dont consider my self an alcoholic, because I dont "need" to drink to have fun, but when we used to go out dancing or at a friends party, I would drink, and I would get very jeoulus about his texting and would get into big fights. In the past year, I only went drinking three times (all ended up in fights)he is holding grudges at me for things that happened a long time ago (things that dont involve drinking), we had disscused them and I thought they got resolved at the time, but last night he brought up a lot of them! But I am not allowed to bring what he has done!! I dont know what to do!! I dont want to lose him!! He is otherwise a really good husband. How do I fix things? How do I get him to belive me? How do I get him to fall in love with me again? Please help me!!