what do i do? need anwsers please!!!!
i was wondering if someone could give me advice, my wife and have been going on and off with arguments over little things. and some of those things have escalated into large full blown arguments. it seems our marriage has been struggling for quite some time. and it has alot to do with both of us, not being the one to step down. although i have many times just to end the fight, she has not. and because of this i think it has given her an ego to the point that she is never wrong, or does nothing wrong. what would be hurtfull in my eyes, she sees it as not a big deal "so what" type of thing. we've been together for 11 years 6 of which are married, over those years she seemed to have gotten worse with her self, being angered more easliy, cursing all the time, and blaming everything on me.
before i got blamed for things being my fault occassionally, but now its all the time. i don't have to even be home, for something to be my fault. we've had some issues with certain computer things, those got resolved, but as she told me if i ever doubted her ask her.
so the other night we had another outing. i asked her about somthing i came accross, once again, as it was nothing new to me, she blew up, started screaming and yelling, as i am the only one to keep my cool. and talk in a rational manner. she thinks that screaming makes her right. now also which i forgot to add is over those years we have been together, in some of our older fights, items have been thrown at me 98% which of them actually made contact. our last fight we just encountered ended up with her scratching my face, hitting me on the side of my face and hitting me in my mouth resulting in a bloody lip.
in the first process of her scratching my face, i finnaly snapped, i sorta slapped her in her face to more or less try to push her away from me, but my intension weren't to actually slap her, it was more of an accessive push. but after that, she then hit me and i aquired a bloody lip. i have never laid a hand on her for the first time, in 11 years it happend. was i wrong in doing so. she didn't get hurt, nor was there even such a red mark on her. but anyway, i have delt with for 5 years of our marraige, is it time to call it quits? im afraid of it, because i know after that (devorce) i will only see my kids on weekends or every other weekend. i need to see my kids everyday. they are my life. do i stick with it so my kids can have me in there lifes everday and grow up with two parrents, or do i give up and let my kids see me on weekends or every other weekend and grow up with seperated parrents. i don't want my kids to experience that. but i don't want to be in a marraige that im getting abused in iether.
do i seek counseling. i do love her, but i can't stand this constant arguing and fighting, its not healthy for us or my kids. i just don't know what to do?
i appreciate all input you give, and responses, because right now, my only friends are you!