Just plain frustrated

geoedwardsMarch 24, 2009

Hi everyone. I just want to vent. I went on a little trip with my husband this past weekend. We do not get a whole lot of alone time. I flew up to San Diego for a overnight trip that he had and from there we flew to Vegas. The first night in San Diego was fantastic. When we got to Vegas, his mood changed. It was like he was completely reserved and I wanted to let loose because that was the first time I had ever been to Vegas! Anyway, On Sunday, all of the flights were booked so I either had to stay another night or we had to drive home. We decided to drive home. The whole way home, he acted like it was a watse of money to rent a car when we could have stayed another night. That was just not an option, his sister was taking care of our kids and could not do it another night and I had to go to work the next day. He is the one to initiate sex, but he told me that sometimes it felt like a chore and planned. We have to wait till the kids are asleep when we do it. Well the 3 nights that we had alone together, we only did it once. I don't mean to sound like a nimpho or anything, but come on, his excuse was that he drank too much or he was tired. I was tired also and I was still up for it. Today he didn't even seem to want to get to close to me and he didn't even say goodbye to me when I left for work. Am I being a baby for feeling like he is bored of me?

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silversword

HI Geo,

"When we got to Vegas, his mood changed. It was like he was completely reserved and I wanted to let loose because that was the first time I had ever been to Vegas!"

Something changed between SD and Vegas. Think back. What changed for him?

He feels sex is planned and a chore. You want more sex. So give him some unplanned, no-work-for-him sex and maybe his mood will improve...

    Bookmark   March 24, 2009 at 11:16AM
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geoedwards

When we got to Vegas, we went straight to the hotel, Terribles, and had something to eat. We walked the strip most of the night and went into a couple of cassinos and played the slot machines. I wanted to play craps and stop to watch outside shows and even get crazy pictures, like sitting on a motorcycle. Maybe catch a show. He was such a crab apple and didn't really want to do anything that I suggested. When we were headed back to the car to go back to our motel, he was rushing me and didn't seem like he even wanted to be there. He had made all the plans for our spontaneous trip. We haven't been intamite since then. :(

    Bookmark   March 24, 2009 at 3:16PM
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finedreams

something happened, sit him down and ask what happened. My SO got very moody and gloomy all of a sudden once and it took me awhile to find out what it was. exwife called on a cell phone and made threats. he didn't want to tell me to upset me, so he was gloomy the whole time. ask him what happened. did he get any phone calls between SD and Vegas?

    Bookmark   March 24, 2009 at 11:18PM
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scarlett2001

"We have to wait till the kids are asleep when we do it"-uh yeah, I GUESS SO!

    Bookmark   March 25, 2009 at 11:45AM
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silversword

Exactly Finedreams.

Geo, think back. Basically...

When we were in SD at the hotel he was happy.
We got to the airport, he was cheerful.
The plane landed in Vegas, he was ____________.
We got to the hotel, he was _______________.

Track his behavior and see if you can pinpoint what happened. If he planned this trip there is something going on that he's not telling you (if you planned it, there would be different factors)

    Bookmark   March 25, 2009 at 1:16PM
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pjb999

I think people who weren't there, should not speculate, especially when it's something as left field as something ominous like "something going on..."

Sounds like the OP and her partner need to talk, is all.

    Bookmark   March 25, 2009 at 2:43PM
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sweeby

"Am I being a baby for feeling like he is bored of me?"

Where did that come from?
I mean, it does sound like something happened to change his mood -- very possibly something trivial. Or perhaps, like he says, he was just tired. Or maybe Vegas affects him differently from you -- it's not everyone's cup of tea.

But in any case, nothing in your post led me to even think 'boredom'.

    Bookmark   March 25, 2009 at 7:55PM
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thermometer

Why allow your life to depend on him? Had my hubby been a sourpuss on our trip, I would have left him to do some fun things I wanted to do instead of letting him ruin the trip for me. Maybe not at first but after I realized he wasn't going to snap out of it, I wouldn't let him control me and keep doing it for days later. So what if he is bored. This is mental and emotional control. Just move on past him and do some things you like to do and don't let him bother you. He'll snap out of it then.

    Bookmark   April 6, 2009 at 11:37AM
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silversword

"I think people who weren't there, should not speculate, especially when it's something as left field as something ominous like "something going on..."

I don't think I'm speculating something ominous, LOL!! Just exactly what I said, there is something up with him, or else why would he be acting like that? "Something" could be as little as he stubbed his toe and was in pain all weekend, so it was hard for him to have fun...

She said he was fine/normal in SD, then when they got to Vegas it changed. So... there must be something going on with him.

I actually agree with Thermometer.

    Bookmark   April 6, 2009 at 1:27PM
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