Build outside social network to balance lack at home?
I've posted before on this, so a brief recap:
DW's top priorities are her job, her hobbies, and her friends/relatives, in that order. Home life and a social life with her husband (that's me...) comes in at a poor 4th place. This could be tolerable, except that the last several years her job or friends/relatives are always having some crisis, so there's no time for any kind of normal social life. Trying to plan ahead to do something together is a joke, it always gets postponed or canceled due to the latest crisis. We will spend a few hours on the weekend watching the tube, and that's about it. But she will get annoyed if I go out and do things alone that "we" could have done (but of course we would never do them because she's too busy).
She's also made it clear that this is simply the way things are going to be, and if I want something different in a marriage I should find a new spouse.
No kids, and no desire to have them on either side, so that's not an issue one way or another.
Despite this, she is mostly a loving, intelligent, sweet person, and the few "quiet times" we spend together are quite nice. And I think if she ever gets her head straight she will be an amazing companion.
Because of this (and some other reasons I won't go into) I'm not really anxious to end the relationship at this point, and there are some long term things that may turn around her priorities.
But in the short term, the lack of social interaction is really starting to depress me. I'd like to go places and see things with people, create some relationships that are independent of my wife's crazy schedule, and frankly build up a support network that can help out if the you-know-what ever hits the fan. I'm NOT looking for outside sex, a "babe on the side", or any of that.
So am I off base here? How do folks build a social network outside their marriage? One thought is that my hobby has quarterly conventions and sightseeing trips, might be a way to meet people and socialize without DW feeling I'm usurping potential "us" activities.