price pay after the affair
we had been live together for 10yrs. during these years we had tough time, he wanted to quit smoke but was not success. He got in to depression, and his personality changed. He didn't spend time with me, his best friend was a computer. we didn't have sex much due to the depression medication he took. He was on medication for six years and during this time I was so lonely, sad, have no one to turn to
To make the story short, I went online and meet this guy I called Lover, talk to him for a short time, get caught by my husband. We had big fights so many time but my husband forgave me. Six months later, life with my husband was horrible sad, lonely, no sex, no supportive, no communication and ect..., my husband fall deeply into depression. I was blue, don't see any future, I reconnected with Lover and felt in love with him.
I lied to my husband to go on business trip so I can flight to the Lover. My husband found out when I was with the Lover. He called me home and my life suffer from here.
I understand the reaction of my husband. He was violent, verblely and physically abuse sometimes just because he love me so much. He wanted to know the information of the Love, I didn't give it to him because he threat he going to kill the lover (the scare was over the love. I scare not to give the information because I thought my husband was meant it by the way he talked). My husband even hurt more because he thought I love the lover and protect him.
The affair was almost three years now and we had been working on it. I had to leave home for several times due to stress, violent, and verbly abuse from my husband. He regreted every time he had done bad things to me and called me home.
this time I left my husband for four months without seeing him, and recently reconnect with him on the phone. He told me as usual to come back home, and open a big door welcome me back. I am debating. I strugle to live out side too because I don't have a job, lonely, and it wasn't easy to live with a friend.
Is anyone here in my shoe and had this experience, please share with me. Shoud I come back to my husband or not. Do you think this married will work?
Please don't advise me to go back to my parents or relatives for help. I am on my own.
Oh, did I meantion I am 37yrs old and I don't have any kids.
My life turn up side down since the affair. this is an lesson for my life. it will never happend again.
Thanks for reading my post and giving me advises.
Ps. for those advise me to come back to my husband (if any) what should I tell my husband if he ask for the Lover information. Last time he asked, i said I don't remember. He said I am a liar and screamed at me.