Anger issues?

shaknzmomApril 10, 2007

Please tell me I'm not the only one! My family deserves better....

I got kind of tweaked this weekend because, as usual, my husband and daughter made us late to our destination. I HATE being late. On the way there I 'let it go' since there was no changing it. So I thought I was in a fine mood. Long story short...before the day was over my husband and kids were all really angry with me because they said I'd been rude all day! I thought I was fine! They said I'm always angry. I don't feel like I am....

How do you handle this? I got a royal chewing out by my husband for being so ridiculously rude. He says I started all of the tiffs that took place during the day. I've tried over and over to tell him that being menopausal is kind of like having PMS and being pregnant at the same time....but worse. My hormones are unbelievable! I take a supplement, which usually helps, but every once in a while they don't touch it. Of course, there is NO way he'll ever understand. HOW do you get family to understand and give you some space?

My family deserves better than a grumpy, mean, unreasonable mom/wife. I'm hearing that it's ALWAYS me that starts things. How come I don't know it????

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You are definitely not the only one. I get extremely cranky nowadays, and try to keep it in. It's difficult. My husband told me on one occasion that I was being rude, and I didn't realize it either. Men will never understand the hormonal issues. He appreciates it when I tell him ahead of time that I'm having a bad day. At least he'll know when to duck!

    Bookmark   April 10, 2007 at 12:14PM
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Wow this is me! "The dance of anger". The book I mean. Old book, same stuff. What I found was, the unresolved issues just DONT get better with hormonal fluxs. In fact they blow up to double You could leave your family to drive themselves to the event. But I know that isnt the point. I started setting some boundries for myself. I like being on time too, I am sorry you had a bad weekend. Cheer up, your family maybe right, OR they may just want the woman back that made everything OKAY for everyone.

    Bookmark   April 10, 2007 at 1:08PM
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Oh the last couple of years since my period stopped, I've had instant rages and rollercoaster mood swings. Well, I had the mood swings during perimenopause, but not the instant rages. It's the instant rages that are so atypical for me since I've always "rolled with the punches". I'm on Wellbutrin XL, which helps a bit, but I've recently started hormone therapy (estrogen patch/progesterone pill) and the rages (at least so far) seem to have subsided.

I've tried to identify a particular internal "rile-factor" at which time I will step back mentally and take a deep breath and figure out exactly what is going it me or is it the rest of the frigging world?

Other than that, no particular suggestions from me, just empathy.

    Bookmark   May 6, 2007 at 1:06AM
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I started therapy, I thought it would stir things up, but really it put in percpective how great life really is. Of course jazzercise 4 times a week helps. I am glad the patches work. Staying of refined sugar help me with so many things, that I thought at first I was imaganing it! AND I LOVE SUGAR. Empathy is a good thing. Shotzy

    Bookmark   May 6, 2007 at 8:23AM
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I can relate to all of your posts! I'm so confused and unhappy, and just can't figure out how to fix this. I'm almost 49 with a 2-1/2 toddler...(surprise bonus baby!!). Hubby is constantly telling me I'm sarcastic and disrespectful. I don't see it myself, but sure don't want to be that way, either. I know I'm short of patience some days, but I'm worn out chasing after a very, very busy toddler and also babysitting for 5 month old grandbaby. I've tried Estroven, but didn't notice any appreciable difference. How do you decide when hormones or antidepressants are the way to go?

I've tried explaining to hubby, but I honestly think he just thinks I'm out to get him.

    Bookmark   May 7, 2007 at 3:42PM
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Antidepressants (some) help keep you in the middle. Sounds like the middle would be good for you right now. Ask your Dr. I think they would love to help you. If not find another.

    Bookmark   May 7, 2007 at 6:30PM
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I can empathize so much. I don't have a family--I'm divorced and live alone with cats. Sometimes when one of the cats gets on furniture she doesn't belong on, I become enraged. I don't hit or hurt the cat, but the anger is way out of proportion to the actual occurrence. I let the cats on all the other furniture and just try to have one piece cat-hair-free, but my anger just boils up so fast and furiously when that's "violated" that I don't know who I am! I'm unemployed, with the position I loved having been taken by a man half my age for less pay and I don't have kids. I find myself wondering if the change in hormones (I went through menopause at 47) has made me less soft and gentle, which is my predominant state. My life, like everyone's, has good and bad in it, and most of the time I feel thankful for all I have, but there are times I could just scream at the littlest thing. It's just not the me I used to know!!

    Bookmark   February 3, 2011 at 2:34PM
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