Dying mother or pregnant wife?
Hi. This is my first post. I really need some thoughts/advice & am desperate for anything anyone can provide. Please help.
My mother-in-law is suffering & dying from cancer & was not suitable for chemo/radiotherapy & is basically dying without hope of recovery. She has also recently suffered a stroke & needs constant care. There are various people caring for her, but mainly my husband & 2 of his siblings. The siblings are single working people, one lives with my MIL, the other lives down the road. We live about 2 hours away. My husband works full-time, but is able to work from 'home'. He is currently up with his MIL 4+ days a week & working at her house whilst caring for her.
For about 5 months, our whole family were living with my MIL (we have 2 young kids, 2 & 4). I am now 7 months pregnant & have moved back home to prepare for the baby. My in-laws & I don't get on & I just couldn't cope with the depression of being there any longer. I needed to look after myself, this baby & our children. I have always supported my husband with his need to be with his mother for whatever reason.
Since his mother was diagnosed & particularly after I chose to move back home, my husband had been angry, aggressive, threatening, intimidating & belittles me. Needless to say, it had all been very hurtful. On one occasion, he had even took the kids from me & put me in such shock that I had seriously found myself contemplating suicide.
While I'm no longer in that state of mind & he's now largely recovered from his mood swings, I can't seem to bounce back as he has. I've simply lost all trust for him & without this, I find it impossible to continue to be his wife. For me, this marriage is dead. I've tried to forgive him & move on, but he simply hadn't even accepted that he had inflicted all these terrible things on me. He makes excuses that his intentions were never to hurt me, & he claims that I shouldn't have reacted the way I have.
Our baby will be due in about 8 weeks. I will require a caesar birth & will need a lot of physical help leading up to & following the birth. I have asked him whether he will be here to support me & the response had been, 'I don't know.' His reasons: he doesn't know what will happen, he might not be emotionally able to be much use to me if his mother gets worse/dies. All I hear is no real commitment on his part to be there for me. I feel that I am better off without him. Not just for now, but for good. I think I deserve better.
I should add that he was previously a good husband & father before all this occurred.
Please, anyone - give me some thoughts/advice.