When a husband says 'I'm not happy anymore'
My heart is breaking for my sister. Her husband of 5 years told her in January that he doesn't have the same feelings for her anymore. At that time they had a 2 month old baby! (They also have a 2 year old.) My sister says she did NOT see this coming. She thought things were going "well" with them. Since then, he has pretty much detached himself from the family in so many ways. They haven't been intimate in months, he maybe pecks her on the cheek now and then, and they just don't talk. They are seeing a therapist, but he continues to say he's not happy. He told his therapist that he doesn't want to have any regrets when he gets older - that he doesn't want to look back and realize he missed out on something "better". Everyone has asked him if he's having an affair and he says no, but he does talk about a female co-worker all the time. She happens to be having marriage problems, too. My sister no longer trusts them together. We are a close-knit family - they live just a mile from our home. We have family dinners with my parents almost every week. I knew they didn't have a "perfect" marriage, but I never saw this coming. I guess I am struggling with how a father can walk out on his 2 young children. He says he is unhappy because of little quirks my sister has always had - not being real organized, not balancing the checkbook each day, not closing the cabinet doors (!), etc. He is practically begging her to kick him out, but she doesn't want to. She fears he will then tell everyone it was all her fault because she kicked HIM out. She'd rather he leave on his own. Their marriage counselor suggested he see his own therapist on the side, so his first appt. is next week. He has a lot of "baggage" - his own father abused his mother, then remarried 5 times. He never had a father-figure in his life. He definitely suffers from self-esteem issues. I'm not sure what I expect anyone to say here. I'm just trying to be there for my sister and know what the right thing to say is. I have talked twice to her husband about this and he has excuses for everything. I have decided I can't talk to him anymore about it. This is all so hard!