Wife blindsided me. Any advice?
My wife of 20 years recently told me she doesn't love me and she feels like we are more like roommates. I found that she started an emotional affair last October. I am not sure if she was intimate with the guy - she denies it. And although she says it's over, I am not sure if it really is. (If it is still going on, she's very careful & discreet.)
We've never had any prior problems with money, verbal or physical abuse, gambling, drugs, alcohol, infidelity..
I assume that I have at least some responsibility in how things are. But she can't tell me what I have ever done, other than not take the family on a trip to Disney (that we probably could not afford) years ago. I've begged her to forgive me for my faults (whatever they are).
She apparently has a serious issue with not being able to forgive & she's just started counseling for it recently.
Meanwhile, although we get along OK, there is no intimacy. I have no idea if she is interested in working to repair our marriage, or if she is totally checked out and done with me.
Some days, I am 100% committed to fixing the relationship. Other days, I am bitter and angry at having been blind-sided, and I would be happy to find a nice woman who would appreciate me.
I've always made 80% of the money. So I worry that she will take me for 1/2 of everything, and then shack-up with a boyfriend - avoiding marriage so the alimony doesn't get cut off. (I've seen this exact thing happen to a close friend.)
BTW - my daughter is off to college this fall and my son is 16.
I'm in such a confused and worried state. ANY advice would be appreciated.