emotions help needed

msteachMarch 5, 2006


I'm brand new here and pretty new to this perimenopause or menopause phase of my life that I already wish were over with yesterday. I can deal with the physical aspects of this-even the awful hot flashes at night that keep me awake for hours. It's the mood swings that are literally driving me nuts. One minute everything's fine and I love my family and grandkids (I'm 49 with 2 granddaughters), the next minute I can't stand some or all of them and wish they were gone. Sometimes the anger gets so intense I'm actually afraid of myself. I keep talking myself down and saying it's the stupid hormones, but at times I get so down on myself, it's not funny. As I'm writing this, now the tears are coming. Mood swings-I've got the gammett. Nights are so much worse and I'd prefer to sleep with a light on, but my husband doesn't believe that it would make me feel better. I go from being afraid to be alone, to not wanting anyone around. My doctor has said that if my mom went thru menopause at age 40 then I'm probably definitely in the throws of it. I did a home test and it came out negative, but they don't show perimenopause. I have hot flashes, night sweats, itchy/crawly skin, joint pain, mood swings, etc... So will I get through this? I need to know this is normal and I'm not going crazy. I feel like someone else is in my body at times. I'm usually a very loving person and this just feels so foreign to me I can't stand it. Thanks for being there.

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No yer pretty normal! :o) I had to be careful when driving... I would get homicidal! I started taking a wild yam cream... a progesterone. I really really helps. The particular brand I got is "Before & After" Menocream, rather expensive, even at Walgreens, but I can adjust the amount, due to too much progesterone making me eat alot. Anyway, if you are still having your period, only take it till ovulation, because it is a follicle stimulator and will put off your period. It helped me with my huge mood swings and night sweats too!
Also, I learned "Yoga Breathing" as soon as I recognised that I was having a mood swing, I try to breathe in deeply, and exhale slowly... helps quite a bit.

    Bookmark   March 5, 2006 at 10:47AM
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No, you are not alone! I have been in menopause for a little over a year. I still get the hot flashes really bad - night and day. And just before I get the hot flash, I get this sick, weird feeling - not nauseous, just weird, almost like anxiety, but not quite, as I have had anxiety attacks in the past. I also will feel like I am going to cry ( which I often do, but I hide it when I am at work!) My emotions are way off now - and my libido is real weird. Libido usually goes down in menopause. Mine is real high. And my husband of 30 yrs. has a pituatory tumor and he has had no real desire for many years. Unfortunately, this has affected our marriage. We are still together and I have never strayed. But I am an emotional mess right now. Other people here have suggested herbal remedies - I'm too chicken to try but I will try anyway. My dr. says everything should simmer down in a yr. or so. That yoga breathing sounds like a good idea - I will try that. Yes, everything should eventually calm down with you. And I find I like a light on when I go to bed, too - I never did before!

    Bookmark   March 5, 2006 at 1:28PM
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Thanks for posting back. I do feel better-I guess misery loves company, and I'm not miserable all the time. I'm going to try to think positively and maybe some of this anxiety or rage will start to lessen. Sometimes I have reason to feel anger and sometimes there's no reason for it-it's just there. I guess that's pretty normal too, huh? I keep telling myself that this too shall pass. If only I had gotten just the hot flashes and any of the physical stuff and not the emotional roller coaster ride, I think I could cope better. My husband is trying to understand, but I know it's hard for him. Trying to keep it out of school is a real trip - but so far so good, I've only wanted to scream a few times and run out of the class once. Of course I didn't, but boy the panic attack was there - just like the anger or rage attacks. I just keep telling myself it's all hormones and I will try the yam cream - Heck, I'll try anything right now. I've tried soy milk, soy nuts, black cohosh, and St. John's wort - some days are better than others - actually some minutes are better than others. Anyone else out there feeling like this??? Should I ask my Dr. for HRT or natural forms of it? I still have my period irregularly so I don't know what he'll give me. Any suggestions??

    Bookmark   March 5, 2006 at 3:31PM
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I chuckled when I read your post (laughing with you, not at you) because I told my DH just a week ago that I feel like an alien has invaded my body, and I can't get it back. It's really quite a drag, imo. I started taking ginseng and it seems to have helped somewhat, and I take valerian root when I am feeling really anxious. It's a rough roller coaster ride for some of us, isn't it?
Mrs H

    Bookmark   March 6, 2006 at 3:06PM
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Wow, you sound JUST LIKE me! In traffic, if anyone gets anywhere close to me, I feel like yelling at them out the window. Normally, I'm not like that at all. I am having irregular periods for the last few months, and have had the nighttime hot flashes for the last two years. My migraines are more frequent and more severe. I'm so itchy - especially at night! And the mood swings - oh my goodness! I thought I was bad when I had just plain old PMS. Now I'm impossible at times. I had panic attacks occasionally before, but now that peri has set in, I have them several times a week. I have to take Xanax daily. I'm hoping the anxiety will ease up when menopause is complete and I can wean myself off the Xanax. Right now, I have no other choice.

And yes, its so true about not feeling like you're the same person. I can get so irritable at the drop of a hat that I feel like digging a hole to be alone! Yet, I'm very nervous when I AM alone, for fear panic will take over. And like you, nighttime is the absolute worst. I have terrifying nightmares and some insomnia, which I've never had before in my life. I also have Mitral Valve Prolapse, and from what my doctor told me, this makes menopause even worse, because the shifting hormones make you get palpitations and skipped heartbeats - something I get more than enough of already! I had no idea menopause could be such a living nightmare. If it helps any, be assured you are not alone!


    Bookmark   March 6, 2006 at 5:29PM
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Randi.... I didn't know itching was a menopausal thing?!? Hmmm! all this time, I've been taking benadryl, cuz I thought it was one more allergy symptom... well THAT'S a relief! :o) whew! Glad to learn THAT little fact!

    Bookmark   March 6, 2006 at 7:49PM
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I started Sarafem (similar to Prozac) last week for my anxiety, which has progressively gotten worse. I'm waiting for it to kick in. How long do these things take? I have dry skin, but the Sarafem seems to have aggravated it. Can't stop itching!

    Bookmark   March 7, 2006 at 10:18AM
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Usual onset of effectiveness is 1-4 weeks. I think that's pretty standard with most antidepressants.
Mrs H

    Bookmark   March 7, 2006 at 10:28AM
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I'm only supposed to start taking it 2 weeks after my period, and take it until my period comes, then wait 2 weeks and take it again, etc. How can the effectiveness kick in if it's an on/off situation?

    Bookmark   March 7, 2006 at 12:20PM
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I'm also an allergic person, so that could be the cause of my itching. Even so, its never been this bad. My skin is very dry, so that doesn't help either. I also have been getting nosebleeds lately, and just recently read that that is also another symptom that commonly goes along with menopause! Learn something new every day!


    Bookmark   March 7, 2006 at 2:07PM
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Randi... pretty much the same with me, but I am allergic to house dust really badly, and I just moved into a house with an old a/c.... but still... why would just my feet and legs itch? I have to boil water a lot here to raise the humidity, or I get nosebleeds anyway....
I think you are right though, because I take benadryl and it doesn't seem to help the itching all that much... I tried changing soaps and lotions to no effect either.
As for the Sarafem, I've been taking Prozac for a few years now for my ultra bad PMS (now have perimenopause on top of it all) I dislike it, but it does work in those on/off ways.... it really does. balancing the serotonin in the brain.

    Bookmark   March 7, 2006 at 2:18PM
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The Sarafem helps sometimes, but not today! I feel so anxious and angry today, I just want to hide somewhere.

    Bookmark   May 12, 2006 at 9:02AM
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Gosh, it's good to know I have "sisters" out there! I was sure I was the only one experiencing the anger and rage you are all talking about. I too have practiced yoga breathing. It helps. So does getting very active, like cleaning my house with all my energy. Or going up and down the steps over and over while cussing under my breath. Pretty soon I have exhausted all that anger (and myself!).
I have been menopausal for a year and a half, but have been experiencing symptoms (hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings) for at least 6 years. I asked my doc when it will end and he didn't know! He said some women sail through it and some have symptoms for a very long time. Great, huh?

    Bookmark   June 3, 2006 at 1:47PM
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there are 35+ symptons that will help you to evaluate what is what..you can go to google or any search engine and type in: list of menopausal symptoms.. and choose from a selection of sites..dont be swayed by the drug advertisements on quite a few though... itching is on the list..mine is not so much the itching part but feeling as though something is crawling on my skin..ugh! hate it.

    Bookmark   June 4, 2006 at 9:26AM
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OK - now we've established that we're not all going insane! Thank heavens.... (though my "significant other" and co-workers might be, if I don't get these ridiculous emotional swings under control...) I'm trying to figure out how to go tell my male boss that my childish outbursts (getting more frequent lately...) are due to hormones. I figured exercise is probably one tactic, though hadn't thought about yoga. So thanks to everyone for that suggestion. I also really like the suggestion of going up and down stairs cussing....

Regarding anti-depressants -- it can take a few weeks to feel the effects. If you don't feel better then, see your doctor again. It's not uncommon to have to try a few different kinds and/or tweak the dosage. It took a while to find one that worked for me, and I actually noticed a substantial difference after being on it only 5 days. Good luck!

    Bookmark   June 12, 2009 at 10:40AM
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Hi Ladies!
Are any of you on supplements? I take 2400mg. of Omega-3's, a Woman's 50+ no-iron multi-vitamin,500 mg calcium w/ vitamin D and it really seems to have helped w/ all my symptoms. Give it a try, couldn't hurt.

    Bookmark   June 20, 2009 at 1:32PM
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I'm now post-menopausal, and still suffer from anxiety and emotional swings. Does it ever go away?

    Bookmark   June 24, 2009 at 1:46PM
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Hi everybody how you all doing ? I am in england and not coping very well with this peri menopausal stage in my life im 46 hysterectomised and struggling with bad palpatations anxiety attacks and my doctor doesnt understand a thing about my situation although plenty on here DO.
I know what u mean about mood swings i get em bad especially with my 23 yr old son who drives me crazy he doesnt understand either i cant even have a drink anymore a good few glasses of wine proper sets off me palps but the magnesium n calcium i take now does help with them

    Bookmark   July 2, 2009 at 10:26AM
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I married at 26 and tried to have a baby right away but no baby ever came, even after a bunch of nasty and expensive tests. I got divorced at 48. I had my last period a few days before I turned 52. I am 57 and I'm having a really hard time. Before I have a hot flash I might feel nervous or have malaise and sometimes outright nausea. I've had the feeling go on for as long as an hour but usually it lasts around five minutes. Then I get hot and then I get really cold. I have had as many as 30 hot flashes in a day. I am very emotional. The Tigers lost today and I got hysterical. They had a four-game losing streak and I was hysterical for four nights. I am still grieving over their loss today even though it has been over eight hours ago. My mother died a year ago. My cat died two months ago and I have no family because everyone is dead and I am divorced. I have financial problems because my paycheck hasn't kept up with inflation. My mother told me that menopause was great but I feel really depressed about it because I never had a baby and I feel really bad that my line is going to die out and I have no descendents. I think I am crazy.

    Bookmark   June 3, 2013 at 12:55AM
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