no hope for my marriage..anything I can do?
I am just about to be 21 years old and recently married. I think its about to be the biggest regret of my life. Don't get me wrong I love this man dearly, but unfortunately he is a terribly bad person. I guess its somewhat my fault for getting into a situation like this. I should have never looked twice at a guy I met at a party through a mutual friend. He was even the one throwing the party, and he even stole alcohol from the store. Hes not normally the type of man I would be with at all to be honest. I have very high moral standards, never lie about my past, I had never even come remotely close to shoplifting before I met him, I don't cheat, none of it. In the past I have held myself very high and proud. I went through a very bad phase which I was still into when I met him, so I guess I needed a lesson, and trust me this is more then enough to put me back on my path. My ex fiance of 5 years left me 6 months before starting to date my husband. It was so rough, I really loved/love that man (in a different way now of course). I tried some drugs nothing really bad and only a couple times but nothing im proud of. I went from having only slept with one man to having slept with 5 in a matter of 6 months (super disgusting please don't judge). Only two of those were hookups where I never dated the person. I finally began to trust my husband when it all came crashing down. I completely transformed his life for him. I got his drug doing criminal roommates out, I found him a good job (like literally found it for him and told him to apply), found us the car we now have, and found him a great deal on a nice trailer we were just about to buy. Here comes another problem, my job history is shot and all I can work is food service, so im sitting home pondering where I will live. Even if I had a job it wouldn't be enough to pay bills.My husband drank an entire bottle of wine last Sunday and proclaimed his love for one of his ex- girlfriends. He told me he would leave me to go be with her and he saw this dream where they had a baby and it shall happen blah blah blah. Then he said its all a lie and stuff, but I was going through his emails seeing if he has been talking to her, and I saw right before I met him he was literally begging girls to have sex with him. I then finally dragged it out of him that he had had sex with a 15 yr old 5 months before we met(he is 21 sick right). He could go to jail at any time for that if she says anything! He also begged another 15 yr old to have sex with him but she said no. He also now admits he also cheated on the girl of the only other long term relationship he has ever had. He also "forgot" to mention one other girl he had slept with. So hes a cheater, and a pervert. How could I ever feel sexually inclined to that again? Did I mention yet that he has hit me hard on several occasions, never with any intention to kill me but still. Hes super verbally abuse, and calls me clingy if I try to spend time with him. I gave him one more chance after he had proclaimed his love for an ex and then I find out all this other info! We have only been married four months. I think I now realize why god didn't give me this man's child. I should be 3.5 months pregnant right now, but I went through an ectopic and had to have surgery and loose a tube, and know that I may never have children. I was also told I have cin1 which is cervical precancer caused by hpv a sexually transmitted disease, which my husband probably gave to me (having hooked up with more then one nasty chick) and lied to me about it. Now I may get cancer and die. I am so confused what should I do? Did I mention I love this man with all of my heart xxx, but also feel its broken.... why must men lie?