I am in a marriage where my DH is very clear about the fact that I take care of the household chores, and I have done for 25 years. He uses the logic that he works hard, is self employed, so the more work he does the more income we can have, if he were to spend time making a meal, or ironing a shirt, it would mean less time for him to work.
My role in this marriage has been one of bringing up the children and running the household. Obviously I am more skilled in doing these things, because I have had enough practice !
In addition to running the household I have educated myself and taken on a 10 year "job" of landscaping a 2 acre garden, propagating many of the plants myself. This property is now for sale. My children have grown to be well educated contributing members of the community.
Now, I run a small business from home that brings me some income, whilst he sits in his office working, as well. We have an office each. We have recently relocated to a city apartment, in an effort to have a sea-change, moving from a rural situation.
Currently I am feeling very sad, as my DH and I had an argument about housework, a few days ago. He basically said that I had been letting things slide a bit. This upset me a lot, as I felt it was very condescending of him to speak to me like that and told him so. He could not understand why I would be upset by his criticism.
My question is - I don't seem to be able to move beyond this argument and I find myself being very upset by it. Obviously it has not been resolved for me.
What should I do next, should I just move on and let it go, and resentfully continue with my cleaning and cooking ??
Any suggestions would be welcome.
Ideally I would like our home life to be team work, where we both contribute and work is work. But it hasn't worked out that way and I would like to to change. Yes, I have have said this to him.
How do others manage these sort of issues ?