internets affairs

lizzie2February 27, 2007

How many of you had spouses cheat on the internet? If so did they cheat at work or at home? Did you forgive them and how? Mine says they NEVER met but there is an email that said "I told her we never met anywhere" she would have had to drive 2 hours to see him at lunch or the night he worked until one am. Help me, I feel so used and dumb.

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coolmama

Dont feel dumb,you are the victim here...although it is a bit naive to think your husband would actually work until 1am.

Sounds to me like mostly an emotional affair,although they are just as destructive.
It is hard to forgive in these situations,because now you will of course always wonder what he is up to. I think counseling would be one of the better ways to go.
I wish I had better advice,but husband cant even use a computer,LOL.
Hopefully you get some better advice and good support here.
I'm sorry,by the way,for what you are going through. I'd be really devestated and angry if it was me.

    Bookmark   February 27, 2007 at 4:57PM
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asolo

"Forgiveness" requires acknowledgement and repentence. Problem is, how can you even trust that? Difficult. Trust is everything. If that's gone, its very difficult. Some people can do it. Some can't. Got kids?

    Bookmark   February 27, 2007 at 6:39PM
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sweeby

I've worked until 1 am before. Later even. More than once.

Good advice so far -- You have no reason to feel dumb. Just hurt. Acknowledge to yourself that you're hurt and angry, and that you have a right to feel that way. Your husband betrayed you and your marriage, and that was a lousy, lousy thing to do.

That said -- How was your marriage before you found out about the affair? Before (you think) it started? Is he basically a good man who did something incredibly stupid and is likely to have learned his lesson? Or a selfish person of small character who is likely to do it again?

I'd take some time to think about it -- possibly with him not around. Then try to decide for yourself if the marriage you thought you had was real, and if it was really good. If it was real, and was good, then the best advice I can give is this: "Don't let your pride stand in the way of your happiness." If not, then you can walk away knowing you're taking a stand and doing something brave.

    Bookmark   February 27, 2007 at 7:42PM
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lizzie2

The marrriage was okay, not great. I am disabled with a disease they both know alot about. He said they were just talking but when I found out she had a breast size problem and they talked about that and she would email him about what bra she had on I lost it. We have 3 children. I start therapy on friday, he said I have mood swings and he cannot handle them anymore, but he is selfish. I have girlfriends that I can only see in the evenings because they work days, he thinks I should be able to that in the daytime. he works days but last night he had to help a friend with a problem and I was home again. I am just hurt and down. Thanks for talking to me. You do not know how much it helps to talk to someone.

    Bookmark   February 28, 2007 at 7:13AM
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