Dh's strange confession
We've been married nearly 18 years.My ex was a drug addict and I brought our DD into current marriage. Dh and I have two other children .Throughout the years ,DH has routinely blown up,usually once or twice a month,and usually blow up is more about releasing work pressure than anything that I do.Over the years I have chalked it up to his ongoing battle with depression.While it's not much fun to live with the verbal abuse,he works hard to control it and I recognize that the outbursts are less frequent than they used to be.His outbursts are timed for moments when the kids are at school,so they have seldom heard or come in contact with his temper tantrums.
He has also been so territorial about HIS space,that I gave up the bedroom five years ago.I am in a physical labor type job,and finally got exsasparated with being locked out of the bedroom everytime he came home in a bad mood,or fighting for covers no matter how many blankets were on the bed ,pillows( he would sleep on all six) and trying to sleep on the six inches left on the bed after his diagonal sprawl.We are on different time schedules for work anyway,so it is not as bad as it sounds.(We still have sex,I just get up and go to the couch after).
In his last outburst,he started ranting and raving about all the wonderful people he had been doing drugs with at work,after the usual 30 minute I hate your ffing guts rant.I think he was still loaded from the night before.He knows I left my ex because of a drug problem,and now I am wondering if the depression I've tolerated over the years is really a drug use problem.I also doubt if he even remembers any of his last outburst.The last two have been so bad that I expected to come home from work and find my clothes out on the street.I had hoped to make it long enough to get my children raised and out of the house before a breakup,but each outburst becomes more hateful,and I don't know how much longer i can take it. Any advice?