Valentines? anybody?

BirdieBlueFebruary 15, 2011

Hi, I was just wondering how many of you got a valentine from your significant other, using the word "significant" with a touch of sarcasm or was it just another day for you?

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tracystoke

I got a lovely card,flowers a teddy and makeup and a meal out,was lovely ,did you?

    Bookmark   February 15, 2011 at 4:26AM
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nancylouise_gw

Received a very lovely card, my favorite yellow roses, and made a delicious dinner at home with champagne. No sarcasm at all, just love. NancyLouise

    Bookmark   February 15, 2011 at 7:52AM
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catlettuce

Yes, we exchanged cards and went to dinner & a movie. Very nice.

    Bookmark   February 16, 2011 at 10:35PM
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nan_nc

I have given up on ever getting anything "nice" because DH never remembers that there's an occasion coming up. We usually just exchange cards: one funny, one mushy each. IF he remembers. This year, he forgot. I am convinced he introduces me as "my wife" because he can't remember my name!

    Bookmark   February 17, 2011 at 2:02PM
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azzalea

Let's see, my husband brought me a soft pretzel left over from his lunch (he brings me one every day--they're 2/.99 at WaWa--and they're STALE when I get them--LOL, but it's the thought that counts, right?). And he was going to take me out to dinner, but I was already making him a special dinner. Then I got sick (my daughter's Valentine gift to me was a wicked cold, oh well), so we're going to hold off on the evening out until I'm past this and feeling better.

We don't make a big deal out of any holidays after 38 years together. Our valentines to each other are more in the way we treat each other every day of the year.

    Bookmark   February 17, 2011 at 2:03PM
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nancylouise_gw

I also forgot to mention we gave each of our 2 daughters cards and a small box of chocolates. We love them and want them to know how special they are to us too. NancyLouise

    Bookmark   February 18, 2011 at 8:57AM
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tracystoke

we always get the kids a card and pressys too.

    Bookmark   February 19, 2011 at 6:50AM
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scarlett2001

I got a palm tree (I like plants better than flowers, as I'm an amateur gardener) and I got him a windshield for his golf cart. Romantic? Well, we like practical presents. Also exchanged chocolates, which neither of us needs to be eating, mushy cards and had a candlelight dinner at home, ordered in.

As for the ladies who got nothing...where is your inner goddess? You do his laundry, cook his food, perform your wifely duties in the bedroom and you put up with getting nothing? C'mon. Don't let him get away with that crap.

    Bookmark   February 20, 2011 at 5:20PM
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suzieque

.."... perform your wifely duties in the bedroom ..."??? Scarlett - is that the way you regard it? A duty? A duty that a wife has and should be rewarded for? I'm so sorry. I don't mean that nasty or sarcastically - I really mean that I'm sorry that it's a duty for you rather than the pleasure of sharing intimacy.

    Bookmark   February 20, 2011 at 6:58PM
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asolo

"You do his laundry, cook his food, perform your wifely duties in the bedroom and you put up with getting nothing? C'mon. Don't let him get away with that crap."

I love this load of garbonzo beans. 2011 and there are still female neanderthals!

Yup...husbands are worthless....you do everything...all the time....we contribute nothing because we're all self-centered jerks, as everyone knows....and if we miss Christmas, birthday, valentines day we're toast. Thank you very much.

    Bookmark   February 20, 2011 at 9:26PM
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scarlett2001

Suzieq - I have long since reached the point where I could take it or leave it - but he hasn't. Therefore, it's 4 to 6 times a week, depending on his golf schedule. And always way too early in the morning for me. So yes, sometimes it's a shared passion and sometimes...it's a wifely duty. I hope yours is always 100% a mutually shared "pleasure of intimacy". If it is, you are either extraordinarily blessed or a newlywed.

And Asolo - here's how I break it down: Thanksgiving is a man's holiday, way too much work for the wife while the guy usually watches football and eats. Super Bowl Sunday, ditto. So Valentines Day is for women - if we can't get a little respect - a stinkin' rose or some candy, that's just sad. Some men have the grace to pick up on this and some "Neanderthals" - your word - have to be trained.

    Bookmark   February 22, 2011 at 5:13AM
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tracystoke

Im sort of agree with scarlett.From my relationships and all my friends,us women do tend to do alot more than men in general ,especially holidays us women have far too much to do than sit around,but saying that every couple isnt like that.My parents have beeb married over 3o something years ,nearly 40 i think.They have always done equal amount of work.They both work full time,come home the same time ,clean up together ,cook tea together,altough my mum does tend to do the ironing lol,but then my dad will be doing something else,they are very much a team,as for there sex life,i doubt my mum sees it as a wifely duty,prob the other way round knowing my mum lol.As for valentines being for the women i dont agree,I think its for the men too.

    Bookmark   February 22, 2011 at 11:22AM
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suzieque

Scarlett, nope, it's not "...always 100% a mutually shared "pleasure of intimacy". I didn't imply that. But when it's not, it's out of love for him that I participate, not because it's a "wifely duty" and something I expect to be rewarded for later, which is what you implied.

Doesn't matter - we all have our ways of working through things. I simply reacted to your phraseology. I was just as reactive to your whole sentence, but only responded to the wifely duties part. Fortunately Asolo picked up on the whole sentence. And it was "female Neanderthals" that he mentioned...I don't think he was referring to husbands that need to be trained.

However your household works, Scarlett, is fine if it works for you. It seems to, so you, in fact, are blessed.

    Bookmark   February 22, 2011 at 1:00PM
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silversword

Scarlett, I hear you. I don't care about valentines but I know what you mean. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Fourth of July, Easter, Super Bowl Sunday (family dinners, family birthdays, etc).

Mother's day and Valentines are two days where men can show their appreciation. And both are days in which all that is needed is a meal (usually out) and some flowers.

If I compare the effort needed to buy a bunch of flowers and make a dinner reservation to the hours I spend picking out just the right gift for (whomever) and shopping for the meals and cooking the meals and serving the meals and cleaning up after the meals (not including the cleaning up before the guests arrive) it's really uneven.

The last dinner I made for DH's grandfather I asked DH if he was going to help with it all this time... ha.

I shopped, cleaned, cooked, sat and listened to them talk, cleared, washed, brought out dessert, packed a to-go package for grandpa and then finished cleaning after he left.

No, every couple isn't like that. My DH does help. But in general I don't think it's very fair and it is nice to have one day to be recognized and appreciated.

Personally I don't like it to be enforced, which is why I don't like or celebrate Valentines. But I hear you Scarlett.

    Bookmark   February 22, 2011 at 1:03PM
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scarlett2001

Thank you, Silversword. That is exactly what I meant.
Personally, I like Halloween - nobody expects you to cook a huge meal and you can dress up funny, party and eat candy - great holiday!

    Bookmark   February 23, 2011 at 11:27PM
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tracystoke

oh lol i dont know ,its me that digs out the pumpkin and takes the kids trick or treating.mums do more I think

    Bookmark   February 24, 2011 at 4:05AM
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