What is marriage counseling like?

tree_oracleJanuary 23, 2006

My wife and I are about to start marriage counseling and I'm not sure what to expect. I'm not going into this with a positive attitude. The counselor just seems like a middle-man to me. I relay the problems to him and he relays them to my wife and vice-versa. I don't see why my wife and I cannot discuss our problems directly and solve them. However, I'm willing (desperate) to try anything right now. Has anyone had any luck with this? What's it like? I expect a knock-down, drag-out session between my wife and I for the first couple of visits.

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A lot will depend on the state of your marriage and your counselor. Many times the counselor will not deal with your "problems" but with how you both deal with each other and life in general. The reasons you guys can not just discuss your problems directly have more to do with your personalities and fighting styles than the problems themselves.

Good luck

    Bookmark   January 24, 2006 at 10:12PM
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You know what? The counselor is a "middle man". But is that really a bad thing? Sometimes its just too hard to say things face-to-face, and an anonymous person (counselor) makes things easier.

Its not who it is said to, so much that it is being said at all. That's the important thing. The counselor is there for you both. Don't forget that. Seize this opportunity.

About 7 yrs ago, my husband and I went to a counselor. I went first, and found out that even if he wasn't willing, I should if I felt the need. I did. But I learned a lot. After several sessions on my own, hubby went too. The counselor was just as "there" for him as he was for me. We both found him to be an "impartial" third party that helped us get over some "inertia" and move forward -- for better or worse.

Try it, I think you may find it may help. The one lesson I really learned from counseling -- doing nothing, is doing *something*. Doing nothing benefits no one.. it just lets fate decide your life rather than taking your life in hand.

I think it could really be a benefit to you.

    Bookmark   January 25, 2006 at 12:22AM
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