Are deal-breakers always deal-breakers?
Would you ever consider compromising on a "deal-breaker" behavior wrt a mate? I am not talking about some romantic high-school fairy-tale fantasy of who your future spouse will be, but a realistic values-based I will not have a relationship with someone who deal breaker.
If so, what kinds of things would you consider in making that determination? If it were in the past? How far in the past? One time vs. repetive? Intent to harm vs. stupidity and bad judgment? Amount of harm actually done? Level of regret? What else you know about the personÂs character? How you found out about the thing?
Lets say for example (this is not the real thing) that your deal breaker was drug use and you found out your currently drug free and happily sober SO had used in the past. Lets say your objection is partly the damage that drugs can do to the user and those around him, but also you feel that the choice to use drugs is a (poor) reflection on the character of the person who makes that choice. How much weight do you give, variously, the fact that he did something inexcusable and what that says about who he is/was, the fact that it was in the past, how extensive the bad behavior was, how long ago it stopped, why it stopped, the fact that you canÂt imagine the person you know today doing it now, the fact that we all have pasts that include things we might not be so proud of? What else?