intimacy issues with my husband
Im not sexually needy, at least i don't think so. but i do crave affection. i desire simple touch, the occasional back rub, or passionate kisses here and there. my husband tells me all the time he wants to be more affectionate and make me feel good in more ways just than sexually. there is quiet an age difference and i wonder if that has something to do with his lack of affection. we are 30yrs. apart. i am younger. our normal routine(which needs improvement also)is we have sex,and he gets pleasure.(i have a problem being pleasured with intercourse due to some past issues, and can only be pleasured orally)so we have intercourse, and he gets off, but then hell get up, smoke a cigarette, grab some coffee and turn on the t.v. i mention to him constantly i feel neglected because he knows intercourse brings no "final" pleasure with me, and he just gets off and leaves me in bed to feel like somethings wrong with me.he does feel bad and tells me he wants to take care of me but doesnt follow through much.when he does feel like taking care of me its hours after intercourse and the "mood of the moment" is gone and i dont feel like its meaningful. i feel like when he does pleasure me its out of guilt because he knows it bothers me. i have came across the thought of leaving, but it went out of my mind as soon as it enters. regardless of intimacy issues we have a great relationship and have fun being in one anothers company wich is important to me. i am madly in love with him, just needing some advice on how to help him WANT to be more intimant with me. in his past marriage his wife neglected him for 12 yrs. no sex for 8yrs. at all. i wonder if that has something to do with him being uncomftorable initiated intimacy because for 8 years he didnt even kiss his wife. i understand that probably affected him and might be the reason for my trouble, but how do i "get him back into intimacy". i know hes cappable of it, i just need to bring it back out of him. any help is much appreciated. thank you.