Looking for trouble?
Am I being a baby? Not sure but I do know everything over the past two years are getting to me something fierce and now I feel completely and totally stuck where I am. Our fourth (and final) little one came along 5 months ago and yes after each pregnancy I get a little on edge and it subsides within two months. Since my third child was born I have felt very dissatisfied with my marriage. The last baby was an accident but he is sweet and very good with no regrets with him being here whatsoever. However I feel more tied to where I should be than where I want to be. I don't want to be in this marriage. We came from another city and I would move back which complicates things even more.
About the marriage I feel there is just nothing there. We both come and go as we please, never with each other (except for dinner with friends, groups things, etc) and I don't care when he goes out and vice versa. I gave up on initiating anything years ago because why should I be his "date" planner for him. In 10 years, after telling him, I got a lunch, he made two dinner reservations (one anniversary). Well, last night is why I write this he officially put me in the "insignificant" category. He goes out every Wednesday for his social/hobby outing which ends at 10. He always come straight home. Last night he came home at midnight. Well, I am his wife and mother of his four children, I think I deserve the consideration of a phone call. I got a "I went for a beer, what, are you my mother?" I am furious over this lack of respect for me. I am a stay at home mom, which for the most part I really enjoy and these words have me so angered. Sorry I am all over the place with this. There is so much more with all the build up of all the other "little" things going on. How do you deal with it?