Almost in a fight on Face Book!

YogaLady1948January 31, 2013

My DD#1 lent me a book through my Kindle~~I finished it before the due date was up~~~she had not finished it, not realizing once she sent it to me it was no longer on her e-reader DUH? So I wanted to send it back to her ASAP~~~I could not figure out how to do it~~she went on FB and told her group that we were having trouble doing this.

One gal said 'not to be a jerk, older people like your mom may not be so proficient on a computer and not be able to do it' DAM! I went crazy and told her I was very proficient in my life, thank you very much!!!! One other gal told me what to do and it was done 'proficiently' in about 3 minutes!!

I noticed when my DD got home from her morning run which is when she would have seen what the gal wrote she deleted the whole post!

This is the second time someone on her page thinks because I am older that I am not with it, she deleted that post also! I am 64~~my DD is 45, I think the problem is, that I was a young mom when I had her and that probably her pals parents are much older~~~~but what does age have to do with being proficient? GRR

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FlamingO in AR

Since she started out with "not to be a jerk...", I wouldn't be so quick to take offense, it sounds like she was sticking up for you, even though you didn't need it. Tone can't be heard in the typed word, she probably didn't mean to upset you in any way. Your daughter must be very protective of you to delete things that she knows will/have upset you, or maybe she just doesn't want any fighting on her wall.

    Bookmark   January 31, 2013 at 6:09PM
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Not on face book, and being slightly older, my only advice is take a deep breath, have a nice soothing cup of tea and this too will pass.
Many times it is hard to interrupt the written word.
Hope you have a better day.

    Bookmark   January 31, 2013 at 6:22PM
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IDK... if you were proficient, you would be able to do it easily (by definition).

The OP stated: "I could not figure out how to do it"

So, I would not be upset if someone said that about me in that situation.

    Bookmark   January 31, 2013 at 6:44PM
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I have a friend who is 75 & she texts, emails, & facebooks, posting picutes, etc. etc. Her Mom is 94 & she also emails. But I also have older friends who won't have a thing to do with computers, etc. even though I'm sure they would totally enjoy all the benefits. Many of my much younger contemporaries @ work thought I was a guru when it came to computers.... but really I just had a lot more interest than they did. So age has nothing to do with computer proficiency. It's more about motivation, interest, opportunity, support, etc.

I don't think I would take offense in the instance you described. Obviously the gal doesn't know you well (or at all?), so she's just speculating from her own experiences (& don't we all do that, sometime correctly & sometimes we inadvertently step on someones toes).

    Bookmark   January 31, 2013 at 7:00PM
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I can imagine how you felt. I do have a sister who completely fails at anything electronic and when she mentions she wants to buy a computer (which she cannot afford) I tend to talk her out of it. I feel bad about telling her she would not be able to run a computer or maintain it because this is a woman who no matter how many times she has been shown cannot even operate her VCR, DVD, her cordless phones, her battery operated can opener, her digital tv, her remote control when it needs to be reprogrammed. When I got my Kobo touch ereader a year my sister had to get something better - the Kindle 3G. One day an elderly friend was asking me what type of ereader would be good for him and easy to work so I told him about my Kobo. My sister putting "on airs" pops into the conversation saying she had a Kindle which was more expensive than my ereader. I just looked at her and said that it didn't matter how expensive it was, if you can't get it to work why spend that kind of money. hahaha within the next few months she gave me her Kindle because she can't figure out how to work and keeps buying the same book from Amazon. A few of us have tried to show her how to use her ereader but it goes in one ear and out the other. My sister is a very intelligent woman but when it comes to technology she needs to stay away from it. She gets mad a me too no matter how nice I tell her not to waste her money.

    Bookmark   January 31, 2013 at 10:52PM
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I don't think what the other person said was something I would go crazy about....................

    Bookmark   January 31, 2013 at 10:58PM
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YogaLady1948 -- does this name mean you do yoga and are 2 years older than me? I do yoga. And try every day to integrate body/mind/spirit. And this is something I would work on to let go. Life is short. Getting upset over someone dissing you on FB isn't worth the time. Peace to you. . . .

    Bookmark   February 1, 2013 at 12:55AM
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SO and I were in the drive thr at Taco Bell the other day, a very nice, very young man waited on us. When he gave us our order he hesitantly handed SO a piece of paper with a web site that you could go to and enter to win an ipod, the very young man said 'if you have a computer at home this is what you need to do.' It wasn't what he said, it was how he said it. As we drove away SO asked me what he meant by if we have a computer at home. I just told him, hey we look older and this younger generation doesn't think we know anything about modern electronics. We both have laptops, Kindles, SO has Iphone, we have a Wii that we watch Netflix on, Facebook. Living on the edge.

    Bookmark   February 1, 2013 at 9:43AM
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Hi Yoga Lady 1948 (or thereabouts),

I was a bit surprised to hear that you'd got so upset over someone's suggestion to your somewhat frustrated daughter that some older folks have difficulty getting the newfangled things to do what they want.

You know what you're about, how you operate your life and how you interact with your daughter.

I expect that a number of people who are at nothing like advanced age have such difficulties.

Even were I in my forties, rather than in my 80s, if someone near me referred on the internet to my offsring's reaction, when s/he and I having some difficulty getting some of our gadgets to interrelate properly, I think that I'd be rather inclined to let that other person's opinion about it roll, as father used to say, like water off of a duck's back.

Not spend more than about 2.5 seconds dwelling on it.

Could there be some frustrations with the way that you and your daughter interact ... especialy when dealing with gizmos like these that are causing the trouble now?

Work at them ... get them worked out.

Not worth losing any sleep over.

ole joyful who's majorly technologically illiterate ... but gets along

    Bookmark   February 4, 2013 at 3:17PM
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"ole joyful who's majorly technologically illiterate ... but gets along"

That made me laugh.

I was asking for a small tape recorder with mini cassettes on Freecycle, and a member wrote to say that a smart phone or tablet can record. Yes, but she's assuming that I HAVE a smart phone or tablet. LOL

    Bookmark   February 4, 2013 at 4:00PM
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That's really funny but I know what you mean...I am going to be 74 this year and I honestly do more in a day, week month, year and even in my whole life than most people half my age and yet I hear mostly young people talking about their elderly parent or elderly neighbor and find out they are talking 65...I hear it on the news too.......Recently I was watching one of those FBI type crime stories and the victim was an elderly woman from a rural area ...The 65 year old lived alone......I about wet my pants laughing...

    Bookmark   February 4, 2013 at 5:04PM
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Once a woman hits 60, she becomes an "older people".

It sucks, it's painful to hear, but it's reality.

    Bookmark   February 4, 2013 at 5:08PM
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When I say I went/go/am crazy it is just an expression~~if I am angry or really mad I will say so.

I came here just to express some frustration/vent a feeling, I was having. Which to me is what KT is supposed to be all about. I have to say I felt more negativity from some of these posts;( Than what I was posting about.

Yes, I do practice yoga and I stand in Peace with my yoga through my daily life~~~but I can still have a situational, moment of frustration.

    Bookmark   February 4, 2013 at 6:04PM
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It bugs me when I read that an elderly person was in an accident. They are maybe 60 at the most. I'm 82 and I don't feel like I'm elderly. I don't how old I will be when I do feel that way, but it isn't yet. Strange, aren't I? If you would see ole joyful run to his car, when he is taking many of his vegetables into someplace where he donates them, you sure would have a hard time imagining he is elderly, too.

    Bookmark   February 4, 2013 at 10:33PM
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"Elderly" need not be a negative. We'll all be there eventually! :)
Yoga, if it's not a big deal, why do you suppose your daughter has worked so hard to protect you from it? And keep in mind that we have responded only to information you have given us - it's worth some reflection. We all get wound up time to time - you're in good company. Glad to know that reality is that it wasn't that big of a deal.

    Bookmark   February 4, 2013 at 11:15PM
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it's just too bad that "pals" of family members can't tell the difference between "family" posts and general conversations...we had the same thing happen...i didn't see what the pal said, as dd erased it before i could, and un-friended them, besides...

    Bookmark   February 5, 2013 at 1:41AM
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Sadly, elderly is a negative term. I will be 60 this year. I still don't know how it happened, since I was in my 30's yesterday.
I would not take offense at the lady's words, I would ask how she would do it and then try to do it. When it doesn't work, then you can let her have it.
Age or experience? I don't have the experience (as in hours) someone younger has with computers. If you were here and listen to me unpuzzle Quicken to do saddle club books, you might call it age. I call in inexperience.

    Bookmark   February 5, 2013 at 7:56AM
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Just another reason I will never do Facebook.

    Bookmark   February 5, 2013 at 2:06PM
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Can't agree with you on this at all. Frankly you went off the deep end over something YOU made up. You took something and changed the clearly stated opinion.

(According to the OP) the other person said: ...'not to be a jerk, older people like your mom may not be so proficient on a computer and not be able to do it'. (Emphasis added.)

OP responded: ...I was very proficient in my life, thank you very much!!!! (Emphasis added).

The person suggested the possibility that you weren't proficient on computers, and you modified her statement to say you weren't proficient in life. There's a huge difference there, it's NOT what she said and getting upset about it? No you shouldn't. In fact, it could easily be said you owe her(/him?) an apology IMO. (I've had this happen here before so I understand the other side. I shared an experience and someone went off the deep end and claimed I said something that clearly wasn't said. That's wrong and people who do that are out of line.)

I also have to agree with the comments about the "not to be a jerk" disclaimer and the definition of proficient.

I don't see negativity toward the OP in the thread. Simple discussion. Some facts, some opinions. Do you interpret everyone who disagrees with your opinion to be "negative"? I hope not.

Elementary age kids often think 20 is "old". People who are 90 often think they're not "old". For statistical and public administrative purposes, however, old age is frequently defined as 60 or 65 years of age or older.

AFAIC "elderly" in an innocuous term. Defined as "of, relating to, or characteristic of older persons or life in later years." How can that be negative? It's fact. More hysteria over simple, innocent terms. Too many people want to be insulted these days (and this certainly isn't intended toward the OP, as it's simply an observation in general). I see it this way: People who get upset over simple little innocent things must have a lot of great things going going on in their lives if something petty sets them off. But in reality, we all have our quirks. We all have pet peeves. Only the person his/herself can deal with that. But there is a responsibility to not attack the innocent.

Perhaps those who don't feel they're old, elderly, mature, senior or any number of other innocuous terms should forfeit their "senior discount", or "old age benefits"? Clearly, offering someone a discount, advantage, income, supplement, etc, merely because of age must be insulting to some people, right? But I'd doubt it'll happen! :)

    Bookmark   February 5, 2013 at 3:46PM
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Age is in the eye of the beholder for sure! Not long ago DH were buying milk, and Thursdays are seniors discount days.

We got 20% off the milk (anything regular price is 20% off). When I saw the receipt when we were walking to the car, I wanted to buy another bag of milk, but then didn't want to press our luck.

When I got home, I phoned the store to see what age their seniors discount applies. She said 65! So.....the cashier obviously thinks DH is 65. He's 57. But for 20%, we'll let her think it! LOL

    Bookmark   February 5, 2013 at 3:55PM
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Haha - Caroline! Fights are more common here than on any day of Facebook on my page! ;)

    Bookmark   February 6, 2013 at 12:33AM
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Yoga, I would be offended too. She was patronizing you. Period. Sure, you could have ignored it but you wanted to defend yourself at the same time. I know my blood would boil if someone who doesn't know me said that about me.

It's like watching the news when an anchor says, "Grandmother hit by car." Uh, the woman could be in her 30's, but the news is still patronizing the victim simply because she's a grandmother. Why don't they say what they really mean, "Old woman hit by car!" lol

If there's a next time, simply say, "Excluse me, but it was MY generation who invented computers and taught you young 'un's." :)

    Bookmark   February 6, 2013 at 8:26AM
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Cynic, I agree with you completely. Although I know I am old, I have a hard time realizing that I have reached the age of 82. It seems impossible that time has gone by so quickly. I looked forward to being 65 and receiving pension benefits and other seniors discounts. I vowed when very young that no matter how old I got, I would try to retain a youthful attitude and I think for the most part, I have succeded in that respect. At 10, 25 seems old. At 82, 60 seems very, very young.

Have a great day everyone.

    Bookmark   February 6, 2013 at 9:47AM
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Sally Brownlee

Rest easy ladies and gentlemen, "ya'll got skills!"

My SO will be 59 next week. We got an iPad for Christmas...let me tell you, we have several lessons on it every night. I give him tons of credit for trying to learn

And although he still doesnt understand the difference between email and text..he does text, I handle the email.

He is an excellent machinist, but I dont think anyone would ever use the term proficient to descibe his computer skills.!
But the apple doesn't fall far...his 82 yr old mother wont use a microwave. (too newfangled)

    Bookmark   February 6, 2013 at 11:23AM
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I'm treated like THAT all the time whenever computers are mentioned! :0) Like @ Safeway, they wanted to show everyone how easy it was to load store coupons onto your card online. I told the kid my DH had set up both our cards & I didn't know the password, it was written in our password book.

He didn't believe me...asked me what my email was...and then asked me what my password was....I DON'T KNOW!!! IT'S IN A PASSWORD BOOK AT HOME! yes shouting....because stupid=deaf right? lol

    Bookmark   February 6, 2013 at 3:50PM
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Stupid ... = ... deaf, huh?

Does that work the other way around, as well?

Darn ... 'cause I've been getting somewhat hard of hearing for some time.

They tell me.

Rather loudly.

I feel a bit regretful to have to ask other people to repeat, sometimes ... especially a soft-spoken person, in a gathering.

I gave up going to live theatre a few years ago, as I missed so much of the dialogue that it was hard to keep track of what was going on.

As for the original post ... as I recall, it was your daughter's friend who was asking her not to be a jerk, under the impression that she was being critical of you ... but I was under the impression that our daughter had been merely stating facts.

o j

    Bookmark   February 6, 2013 at 4:10PM
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