How to Cut a Wedding Cake
Married 40 Years Today
How I Cut The Wedding Cake
1. I got married (at my request, her instigation) to a gorgeous lucious vivacious curly
haired 113 lb (down from 118 for the wedding) chick (woman) that I couldn't keep my hands off of and vice versa (something about dropping a hat) with 3 teen age kids from a previous marriage (they approved), 2 sisters, 4 brothers, a huge extended family and who was extremely popular and had a million friends the vast majority of all of the above whom I had never met.
2. Attending the reception (required) I sought courage, comfort, solace and refuge in liquid sustenance (badly needed).
3. Time to cut the cake: I stepped up to the plate (cake) and observed (sensed) that it was non-linear (circular). Hmmm. How to proceed? I asked how many people were in attendance. "About 40." Hmmm again. Ah, the solution. Circular cake is 360 degrees. Divided by 40 people is 9 degrees per person. What could be simpler? But! How to gage 9 degrees? Easy!
I layed off 90 degrees then took half of that = 45 degrees and half again is 22.5 degrees. Now half of that is 11.25 degrees so I squeezed the knife over just a tad more, called it 9 degrees (to a first approximation), and whacked off about 35 degrees of cake and asked, "How's that?"
4. Somebody grabbed the knife and said, "Maybe I'd better help."