Separate memorial services?
My grandmother died this morning. Thankfully, we were all able to see her in her last days and even though she couldn't communicate, she knew we were there. She was surrounded by her children and her passing was very peaceful.
Unfortunately, the situation I spoke of in a recent post has worsened dramatically since this morning. It seems that a relative has done some very dodgy things which means there may be a long road to hoe legally. It's very unfortunate that this has become the focus so soon after her passing, but what was done was so far beyond the pale that there will be a permanent family rift, regardless of the legal outcome.
I really don't understand how some people can live with themselves.
In any case, there remains the issue of a memorial service. My grandmother will be cremated, and there won't be a wake or a traditional funeral - - just a service. I simply can't bear the thought of being in the room with this other relative. I don't trust myself to be near her and keep my composure. The same goes for the rest of my family. So what to do? Have our own separate memorial service? And who to invite to each service? Invite everyone to the one we plan, and allow people to decide which to attend? I can't bear the thought of not commemorating this somehow. But I also can't bear the thought of sharing space with this other person and then watching this person play the self-sacrificing martyr in front of everyone. Any ideas/wisdom?