funeral poems?

paigectDecember 28, 2005

Sorry for the frequent posts, but the memorial for my grandmother has been set and I need to come up with a suitable poem for a memorial card. Something not too long, and ideally the subject matter would be about living life to the fullest, which my grandmother certainly did. I tried searching online and didn't come up with anything that wasn't really sad or already very well known. Then I remembered that you all know everything (;-)), so I figured it can't hurt to ask!


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I found one that is very appropriate for many reasons, here it is:

Author Unknown

I'd like the memory of me
To be a happy one~
I'd like to leave an afterglow
Of smiles when life is done.

I'd like to leave an echo,
Whispering down the way~
Of happy times, and laughing times,
Of bright and sunny days.

I'd like the tears of those who grieve
To dry before the sun~
With happy memories that I leave,
When life is done.

    Bookmark   December 28, 2005 at 8:34PM
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Wow. I'd say that was a quick end to THAT search. Honest to God, Paige, I can't even think of the words I'm looking for to describe my thoughts about that poem. To say it's beautiful is a gross understatement.

    Bookmark   December 28, 2005 at 8:50PM
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I agree with Bill~very beautiful. How ya holding up there?

    Bookmark   December 28, 2005 at 9:00PM
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That is beautiful. Bill's words echo my own thoughts. I think you've found your poem.

When is the service?

    Bookmark   December 29, 2005 at 3:44PM
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I agree that it's beautiful. I would not necessarily have chosen the poem for anyone else - - there are so many that are also quite beautiful - - but it's perfect for her.

SheriLynn, it's next weekend. I'm doing much better, thanks for asking, Pauline. DS, unfortunately, returned home from a sleepover in the middle of the night a few nights ago because he was "feeling sick." I think the first time dealing with this is hard on a kid.

    Bookmark   December 29, 2005 at 3:58PM
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I am so sorry to hear of your grandmother's passing. I hope she had a happy life and a peaceful passing, and that you have many special memories to treasure. I do not know who authored this poem, but I have always found this one to be very comforting.

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

    Bookmark   January 1, 2006 at 2:46AM
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We used this poem for my father-- who passed away on December 8th, 2005--

Fill not your hearts with pain and sorrow
but remember me in every tomorrow
Remember the joy, the laughter, and the smiles
I've only gone to rest for a little while
Although my leaving causes pain and grief
my going has eased my hurt and given me relief
So dry your eyes and remember me
not as I am now, but as I used to be
Because, I will remember you all
and look on with a smile
Understand, in your hearts
I've only gone to rest a little while
As long as I have the love of each of you
I can live my life in the hearts of all of you

    Bookmark   January 1, 2006 at 1:25PM
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I've wanted to post this since this thread started, but I wasn't (and still I'm not) sure this was the place to post it, but here goes, anyway. My father had copied this short little poem on a scrap piece of paper and thumbtacked it to the wall by his desk at the office:

Just give me one rose today,
be it pink, white, or red.
I'd rather have one rose today
than a truckload when I'm dead.

For some reason, that poem (even just the site of that poem on his wall) still sticks with me today, some 20 years later. When he died in 85, we had that poem pinned to the inside of his casket, and across his chest, 6 pink roses, and in the center, one red one, from us 6 kids and my mom.

    Bookmark   January 1, 2006 at 1:37PM
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I've always liked A.L. Tennyson's "Crossing the Bar"

Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar
When I put out to sea.

But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam.
When that which drew from the boundless deep
Turns again home.

Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell
When I embark.

For, though from out our bourne of time and place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crossed the bar.

    Bookmark   January 1, 2006 at 2:22PM
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My parents split up (for good) when I was about 8 years old. Mom brought up 5 kids on her own with absolutely no help from my dad.

When I gave her eulogy, part of it consisted of Celine Dion's song, Because you Loved Me. I was a little hesitant because I didn't want to come across as though I thought I was some super special person or self-centered, but just to say how much she molded each of her children (now, that's living life to the fullest!).

An excerpt which included the song:

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful.
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

    Bookmark   January 1, 2006 at 8:40PM
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I like the one you sent Paige, but if you need an extra here is my contribution.

Miss me but let me go

When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room.
Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little--but not too long
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared,
Miss me--but let me go.

For this is a journey that we all must take
And each must go alone.
It's all a part of the Master's plan,
A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart
Go to the friends we know
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds.
Miss Me--But Let me Go!


I am standing on a seashore

I am Standing on a Sea Shore
I am standing on a sea shore
a ship at my side spreads her white sails
to the morning breeze
and starts for the blue ocean.

She is an object of beauty and strength,
and I stand a watch her until
at length - she hangs like a speck of white cloud
just where the sea and sky
come down to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says, "There! She's gone".
gone where? Gone from my sight - that is all.
She is just as large in mast and hull and spar
as she was when she left my side
and just as able to bear her load of living freight
to the place of destination.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her;
and just at the moment when someone at my side
says, "There, She's gone",
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready
to take up the glad shout, "There she comes!"

And that is dying.

    Bookmark   January 3, 2006 at 11:43AM
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Wow, great contributions everyone. Mariposa, I had seen the last one you posted and rec'd it to my dad for the Eulogy. My mom didn't like the "just as large in mast and hull and spar" part - - she thought my grandmother would have been insulted (!!), and actually, she may be right. But I liked it anyway. And the first one you posted is one I hadn't seen.

Lori, that song is beautiful. I've never heard it. It wouldn't be appropriate in this circumstance. I loved my grandmother and she loved us, but she was (being candid here) slightly egocentric and, well, just not quite the person spoken of in that song. I could see that being appropriate for others in my life when the time comes.

    Bookmark   January 3, 2006 at 11:58AM
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Paige, my thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family this weekend.

    Bookmark   January 6, 2006 at 1:35PM
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And mine.

    Bookmark   January 6, 2006 at 3:09PM
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I know it's too late, but I've always liked Sara Teasdale

On the Dunes

If there is any life when death is over,
These tawny beaches will know much of me,
I shall come back, as constant and as changeful
As the unchanging, many-colored sea.
If life was small, if it has made me scornful,
Forgive me; I shall straighten like a flame
In the great calm of death, and if you want me
Stand on the sea-ward dunes and call my name.

    Bookmark   January 6, 2006 at 6:24PM
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Paige, please let us know how you're doing.

fka vasheri, but can only sign is a vasheri!
Gardenweb has the signin names screwed up

    Bookmark   January 7, 2006 at 8:38PM
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You all are the best, have I told you that?

Yesterday was a trial, for sure. The minister gave a great service, and the caterer showed up on time and the church hall was set up correctly, so thank goodness the advanced planning all worked out. And I've never been so proud of my 10 yo DS. He got all dressed up in a shirt and tie and helped me dress all of the tables with tablecloths and helped the caterer set up and stuck by his mourning grandfather in a very supportive way. Everyone was commenting on how wonderful he was (even though he fidgeted in the pew through the whole service!).

But there was the typical family drama.

The worst thing for me happened when my grandmother's beloved girlfriends showed up at the church. I purposefully chose a church that was right near her senior citizens retirement community, so that her close circle of girl friends and neighbors could come.

When "the girls" came into the church and seated themselves, I went over to talk with them. They immediately started asking me why no one ever called them to tell them where my grandmother was in the two months before she passed. I told them that back in August, when she was first hospitalized in the place close to her home, my mother went to my grandmother's house at her request to get her phone book and brought it to the hospital so my grandmother could call her friends. They acknowledged that they received her calls and visited her then, but then, after my aunt moved her to other facilities (and started isolating her from us), they couldn't find her. The only emergency number they had was my aunt's, and they left messages 2-3 times/week, begging my aunt to call them and tell them where my grandmother was. One of them even spoke with my cousin, who told them they didn't know any details (total lie) and that my aunt would call. No one ever called back.

They were devastated that they didn't get to see her and say goodbye, and enraged as well. All I could do was apologize and tell them that we would have called if we had their numbers, and that there were times we weren't even able to find where she was.

I felt so terrible for them and for my grandmother, and I know she wanted to see them. The last visit I had with her while she was coherent, she mentioned them and was sad that they weren't coming. Meanwhile, they were desperately trying to, but my aunt, for reasons I simply cannot understand, wouldn't call them back.

I also have a very close knit circle of girlfriends. I simply can't imagine what it would be like if I was prevented from seeing one of them on in this manner, or if I was dying and they didn't come see me. It breaks my heart.

Meanwhile, evil aunt spent the last three weeks telling my father that she couldn't deal with filing the will or doing anything to start settling finances, because she's grieving too much. She also told him she couldn't help at all with the service because it was too much for her, so I made all of the arrangements. My dad went by my grandmother's house yesterday morning to pick up her big band cd's to play at the reception after the service, and apparently, my aunt wasn't grieving so much that she couldn't hire a u-haul to clear out all of the best furniture. She had taken all of the valuable smaller items before my grandmother died, but this last bit happened after, while she was supposedly so deeply grieving. And she had the gall to ask my dad to help her go through my grandmother's clothing and box it up for good will. So she gets anything with any sentimental or monetary value, but he's supposed to help her get rid of everything she doesn't want?

Anyway, taking things out of the house at that point is clearly not acceptable, and he will have to deal with it, but I just don't know if he has it in him. He seems to be continually surprised with her actions, although at this point nothing surprises the rest of us.

At any rate, my grandmother is at rest and we have the closure we were looking for. I think these next few months will continue to be very difficult for my father, as he sorts through the shambles my aunt has made of everything.

    Bookmark   January 8, 2006 at 11:05AM
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Paige, I'm glad you had the memorial service and that it went well. However, I'm confused by your aunt's actions. Did your grandmother leave all these things to her? If not, she's surely breaking the law, isn't she? Your grandfather is clearly not able to deal with this woman at this point, so will there be someone in the not too distant future to help him deal with her? This is just so bloody awful that I am finding myself steaming at the thought of her acting so disgraceful at a time like this!!!

    Bookmark   January 8, 2006 at 1:32PM
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