Missing in Action

cupofkindnessDecember 4, 2006

This morning I did a search on the term "police" because I couldn't find Organic Donna's thread called "Forum Police." Well, the search located a clickable link to the thread, but the thread has been deleted. I found that thread to be thoughtful and productive, but apparently iVillage did not. The last post was made today at 3:18 am. I did post several times on that thread, but I tried to stay upbeat and neutral, and the entire thread seemed appropriate. Did the thread take a turn for the worse? Organic Donna, are you still with us? Please check in if you can. If not, email a forum friend and ask them to reply for you. Thanks for any replies from anyone.

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I was up until after midnight Pacific time. iVillage posts Eastern time, so I probably saw the last post in that 'police' discussion. It did not take a turn for the worse that I saw.

iVillage simply does not tolerate having staff decisions questioned, nor do they tolerate open forum discussions about those decisions. That was also true of the previous forum owner, Spike Gonzalez. This discussion may also disappear if it is found. Usually iVillage just responds to tattletales who send written complaints. They do not have time to follow every discussion, but I'm guessing that when they receive a number of complaints from one forum in particular, they keep an eye on it for awhile.

With the deletion of the police thread, that makes 6 discussions they've deleted during the past few days. I also noticed that they deleted some comments from the "gross" thread, which remains active. Such deletions make a discussion disjointed, IMHO.

It's their website, and they can do what they want. However, Spike (previous owner) and iVillage have lost members through the years due to heavy handed moderation. They probably don't care about that, because newbies keep arriving and that keeps traffic up, which is what advertisers want.

There are several forums at different websites not associated with this one that were started in the past after the webmasters here became too heavy handed. I have been an active member of one of those offshoot forums for over 5 years. The thing is, nothing beats Gardenweb when you are looking for specialty advice in home improvement or gardening/landscaping, and that's why I still return to the THS and gardenweb forums.

    Bookmark   December 4, 2006 at 12:59PM
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vicki, can you share what some of those offshoot fora are, please?

    Bookmark   December 4, 2006 at 1:06PM
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Hi everyone,
Thanks for being concerned about me. The most recent response to my post I saw this morning was very eloquently stated. I wish you could have read it. I just got "a friendly reminder" from gardenweb, that I shouldn't use the forum to air my objections. My post was deleted. I am no longer going to follow the kitchen forum. I may check in on the bathroom forum from time to time. I will stay over here on the conversation side, so let's get this forum more action. Who knows, this post will probably disappear too. Can you e-mail me and tell me the other forums that you have found to be helpful?
Thanks, it's sad to me to not be able to be myself.

    Bookmark   December 4, 2006 at 3:10PM
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The day I can't say what I think is the day I stop coming in here. AS a buddy of mine used to toast all the time,

Here's to you, and
Here's to me, and
May we never diagree.
But if we do, SCREW YOU!
Here's to me!

My wife tells me I spend too much time in the forums, anyway. :-)

    Bookmark   December 5, 2006 at 12:40AM
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And what about aptosca. Has she disappeared?

    Bookmark   December 5, 2006 at 2:19AM
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organicdonna, the dust has settled, don't deprive yourself from coming to Kitchens , your posts are interesting; let's all move on.

Go post elsewhere and see what captures your attention and if you like the atmosphere/format/group better; you do have choices but don't let last week's incidents get to you, they happen a few times a year and it all dies down then it's business as usual. The same thing happens elsewhere.

    Bookmark   December 5, 2006 at 7:26AM
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sjerin - Thanks for asking. I am just laying low and lurking. Like someone else said, there is a lot of great information at this site so I hate to lose out on that.

I am debating whether I should post on the actual "kitchen" side about my granite install today. I am afraid that there are a lot of people who will jump on me for no other reason then they didn't like what I had to say before.

You know the type, they say mean and petty things just to get back at you. I am not in a good frame of mind at the moment to take criticism. Yesterday I got some bad news about my dog. I posted on the pet forum.

We are almost finished and I want to share but am afraid to do so.

    Bookmark   December 5, 2006 at 6:04PM
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Don't you back off, post away and be bold and proud; really, it's ok.

I can honestly not remember what you said; don't forget that everyone reads an enormous amount of material and we can't recall everything.

I will check on the pet forum later.

    Bookmark   December 5, 2006 at 6:52PM
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I agree with Mitch - go ahead and post away. I wasn't following all the hullabaloo lately but got enough of a look to see some troublemakers getting out of hand. The teapot boiled over, a member or 2 got booted (maybe), and others got slaps on the wrist.

I've been through this at Orchids and at Cooking. It all dies down, most members are happily oblivious to it all, and things get back to normal.

The rules are really quite lenient, and are enforced only when someone complains. Other places are much stricter, and those with no rules, like Yahoo forums, are unusable.

So please don't leave. This is a kitchen forum - let's talk kitchens. Just don't be mean to others or otherwise act trollish and you'll be fine. I don't remember any of you doing that.

    Bookmark   December 5, 2006 at 7:28PM
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Hi Donna et al!
I just found this forum. How blind have I become since the reno? The little title was at the top all of the time. Donna, why in the world will you stop coming to the kitchen forum? No fair! How will I see what you have done for the holidays? I don't imagine that you will have a mundane tree! You are a great photographer and I am looking forward to the "sky show." I redid my bathroom and powder room along with the kitchen. I check into the bathroom forum periodically, but somehow, my heart's not in it. Sigh. If that's where you will be, I'll be sure to look for you. My bathroom was pretty traditional before the reno and it remains traditional after the reno. BORING STUFF to me, lol! What are you planning? I know it will be a modern and architectural show stopper. Thanks gina, for the calming words. I was very alarmed, I must admit. I'm new to the computer thing and I've never been kicked out of anything before, lol!

    Bookmark   December 5, 2006 at 7:50PM
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Hey Donna - I am very much a lurker cause my questions are usually aswered before I post. Just need to say - your kitchen is sooo Chicago, and Chicago is my kind of town!
Please keep posting - you have great taste!

    Bookmark   December 5, 2006 at 10:00PM
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Thank you for the compliment. I feel better on this side of the forum for now. I am not upset with any of the members of kitchens forum, I love all you guy's. I'll jump in when I feel the need. I like to interject my personal thoughts not just talk tile and grout. On this forum I can speak more from my heart.
Hugs and Kisses
P.S. Clare, tell us about your granite

    Bookmark   December 6, 2006 at 9:00AM
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I would love to read more about your granite on the kitchen forum. I honestly can't even remember what side of the issue controversial discussion you were on, but I do remember your past granite woes very well. I hope you're not facing more bad news regarding your counters.

I haven't seen your post about your dog and will go read it later. Meanwhile, my Rosie dog sends big sheltie kisses to you and yours.


Donna and Flyleft,

The other forums I mentioned are not kitchen or remodeling forums. They were started by people who became disillusioned with forum management on the gardening side of gardenweb, so those forums may not be of interest to you. If I were to post the links here, it would probably end up causing this discussion to get deleted. Of course, you can email me through my profile if you wish.

    Bookmark   December 6, 2006 at 3:21PM
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Of course I have a fabulous tree!! Decorated with lots of tinsel and homemade ornaments and it's huge. Here is a picture of it. I just put it up. What do you think???

Here is a beautiful morning sun, look at how the pink sky reflects on the tiny lagoon.


    Bookmark   December 6, 2006 at 5:08PM
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Speechless! That is one drop-dead- gorgeous view!!! And I'm turned around - are you looking towards the south?

See the cub in my name? Major Cub fan here. I'll never forget a few summers ago finally getting to see a game at Wrigley Field. One of the best days of my life! The experience really started several blocks from the park. As we walked the distance from our hotel to the park, fans started coming out of their homes with their kids, gloves in hand and caps on their heads, large and small. The closer we got to the park, the larger the crowd became. My DH and I turned to each other and just said Wow. There was a spiritual quality to it all and I was thrilled to be a part of it. I felt like a kid again going to my first game and knowing I would love baseball forever.

Thanks for letting me reminisce. Can't wait for spring training! : )


    Bookmark   December 6, 2006 at 5:34PM
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Donna, Your Christmas tree photo made my day. I'm STILL laughing. I am not an expert by any means, but I think you can try a tad bit harder, lol, lol! Now, that second pic is breathtaking. How do you get anything accomplished? I used to live in a high-rise years ago, and the scenery from the windows kept calling out to me. Your view is magnificent! You probably don't drink coffee (right?), but I can just see MYSELF sitting in your kitchen sipping a hot cup and enjoying the view. Vickie ca, did I hear you mention a sheltie? My sweet fat girl is a sheltie! Aren't they just the sweetest, most loving and comforting dogs? Angelcub, you described my one and only baseball game experience perfectly! I don't love the game on television, but the hot dogs, the thrill of the open air and the fans, was a magnificent experience. I had almost forgotten how I felt, walking to the field. Since my boys left the game, I haven't felt the urge to attend another game. Ah. Nostalgia!

    Bookmark   December 6, 2006 at 5:59PM
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Donna - That is the snowy picture I was waiting for! Beautiful! Brings back a lot of memories. But I would rather have today's weather, sunny and in the 70's. Especially as I get older! (55 today!)

Love the TREE!!!


    Bookmark   December 6, 2006 at 6:14PM
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angelclub, I face east and south. I went on the balcony to take that picture. I need to figure out how to take a panoramic shot.
kitchenstump, That is all I do for Christmas, I don't have much Christmas spirit. I drink a wonderful cup of Cafe Du Monde with Chickory and real half and half in the morning. It's the best part of the day. That's when I take the beautiful pictures.
This summer I will take pictures of the boats on the lake for you.
Clare, please post about your granite. You can post both here and the kitchen forum if you like. I'm dying to hear all about it. How is your doggie doing?

    Bookmark   December 6, 2006 at 7:26PM
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Ummm...I got an interesting email asking if I got banned...what a bummer for some,huh?

I couldn't help laughing. Why would anyone ban me? I'm the attraction,LOL

Donna, you've got mail and so do you Clare! I was serious by the way. Come on down ;-)

Bye for now. Have tons to do.

    Bookmark   December 6, 2006 at 7:37PM
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I just saw your granite and I LOVE IT!!!!!! I am so happy for you. What a relief.

    Bookmark   December 6, 2006 at 7:39PM
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