If people don't lke you does that cause fewer people to

hamptonmeadowApril 27, 2006

answer ones posts? I post questions and not very many answers. I assume that it is because I am so curmudgeonly and a lot of people are not too fond of me.

I can't change in order to get answers so I guess I am out of luck, but it is an interesting question.

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Hey, you had two birthday posts started by your "friends" here at THS and Bahrr!! Don't forget we had Christian and Jewish holidays the last couple of weeks, and many areas also had April school vacation this past week. I haven't been on much the last two weeks.

You do have your own unique style and personality! I personally do not avoid any post ... unless the poster is a troll or a truly mean person. I don't think you are either of those! ;-)

    Bookmark   April 27, 2006 at 9:48PM
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Good question -- Could it be you're not asking kitchen questions people feel they can answer? Or maybe your subject lines don't grab attention? (though this one certainly does...)
How about linking to some of your 'lonely' questions, and we can all give Lowspark's favorite:

"Well, I don't know diddly, but I'll give you my opinion anyway..."

So long as it's not about widgets, quinkling, ding dongs or hoo hoos...

    Bookmark   April 27, 2006 at 10:12PM
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You post in decorating too, right? Personally, if I feel I can add to a post, I do. If I can't - I just read the post and follow it that way. There are 1 or 2 people that "rub me the wrong way", but that doesn't keep me away from a post.

    Bookmark   April 27, 2006 at 10:18PM
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Gee, Hampton, this bothered me enough that I did a search and I only see two posts lately - the sink thing and the cabinet one - both pretty specific questions. Neither I know "diddly" about, so I took a pass. But I must add that sometimes this board makes me also feel like what I just posted is just hanging out there like a "pretty big matza ball" (cf Seinfeld)

FWIW, in my head, I have you filed under smart, funny and pretty cool. Always good to see you post and always interested in what you have to say....

    Bookmark   April 27, 2006 at 10:29PM
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Yeah hamptonmeadow, don't feel like you're the only one. I wonder if our introverted natures bring on that type of thinking. I've had moments when I've felt like I was being pounded down or ignored too. I just keep on posting and forget what other people think!

I know I've seen your questions and can't contribute much either. Maybe you just know so much already so it takes a real brainiac to answer your questions? :)

    Bookmark   April 27, 2006 at 10:38PM
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Also you have that demonic creature in your computer that causes posts to be lost and others (like this one) to come up twice. Who knows what s/he is doing to your responses!!

    Bookmark   April 27, 2006 at 10:59PM
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There are only two regular members that I just have a real personality conflict with, but that's never stopped me from answering their posts. If a post comes up with something in the subject line questioning the tech aspects of installation, you can BET I'll atleast look at it, and if I don't see a sufficient answer, I'll post to it, no matter WHO it is.

And before you all ask, I can guarantee you the two I'm talking about know for sure who they are. :-)

    Bookmark   April 27, 2006 at 11:05PM
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you are the nicest guy on the forum!
I can't see you having a conflict with anyone!


    Bookmark   April 28, 2006 at 12:00AM
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LOL Sweeby!! Guess I'm never gonna live that down! :)

Yeah. I'll pretty much repeat what's been said above. I pretty much post to any thread about which I have something constructive to contribute.

There is really only one person on this forum who has specifically offended me on several occasions, and I still post to threads s/he starts if I have an answer.

In the past, when I've posted getting too few results, I surreptitiously post to get it back to the top of Page 1. Things do move quickly around here and a post can slip pretty quickly down to page 2 or 3.

    Bookmark   April 28, 2006 at 10:28AM
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My kitchen has been done for over a year, so I rarely even look at the discussions forum anymore. I pretty much stick around here. I appreciate the friendship and support you find here. I also post on the pool forum and sometimes the decorating forum.

    Bookmark   April 28, 2006 at 1:15PM
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Laurie-- you're right-- I AM!! Just ask me and I'll tell ya!! LOL

(modest to a fault, too! )

    Bookmark   April 28, 2006 at 11:27PM
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I agree that it's often lack of something to say on a particular subject; hampton you are a very interesting and likeable poster btw; I've only once felt someone disliked me on another forum, unrelated to homes; it was made very clear and I do not participate in that person's threads purposely to this day;
so unless someone would title a thread: HEY HAMPTON, then lash into you for stating your opinion, I would not worry about it.

    Bookmark   April 29, 2006 at 7:35AM
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Funny, I thought I was the thread killer here. Can't tell you the number of times I've posted only to see the conversation end, and the thread sink like a stone!

Seriously, I'm surprised to see the number of people, all of them interesting & likeable, mention that they feel unpopular in this forum. There must be something about the nature of online forum discussions that leaves people feeling out in the cold. Unless one is an especially vivid writer, it's difficult to convey warmth & friendliness. Gee, hamptonm, you've never struck me as being curt or rude. And I rather like curmudgeons :)

    Bookmark   April 29, 2006 at 8:14AM
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"Funny, I thought I was the thread killer here. Can't tell you the number of times I've posted only to see the conversation end, and the thread sink like a stone!"

lol @ awm ~ omg, me too!!!

    Bookmark   April 29, 2006 at 8:18AM
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I can't believe either awm or paulines is saying that! I have felt that way on other boards on THS, and in the beginning here. I think once you've been around for awhile and built up your share of goodwill for helping out with this and that, people tend to be more accepting.

    Bookmark   April 29, 2006 at 9:03AM
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I definitely think forums can feel like middle school sometimes. I would bet the people that feel "unpopular" would never ever feel that way in real life. Hampton, I imagine you as a strong, independent woman with an opinion. I would much rather hear someone's honest opinion than anything else as long as it is not judgemental.

    Bookmark   April 29, 2006 at 9:38AM
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paulines, I'm laughing too! You're one of the more colorful writers here. Can't believe you feel you've ever killed a thread! Your comments are always worth reading & tend to keep the conversation going.

    Bookmark   April 29, 2006 at 10:10AM
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hampton, I echo the others in reassuring you that you haven't been snubbed! I rarely read the Discussions side, either, because my kitchen has been finished for almost 2 years and--amazingly--I AM recovering from TKO disease. But I consider the veterans here my friends (unless proven otherwise, and that has never happened), so I still post in Conversations.

The only time I felt snubbed (irrationally, I hope) was when I posted to a different forum for the first time and offered some info on a rather esoteric subject and then said I could supply more details if anyone was interested--and nobody WAS! :-)

Funny the topic of thread-ending has never come up before, to my knowledge. I've often felt that I was a thread-killer, too! In my case, I think it's because I tend to jump in late, when the general interest is winding down. Also, I tend to summarize and "pontificate," so maybe there isn't any more to be said. (PLEEEZE, somebody, say something, so I won't kill THIS thread!)


    Bookmark   April 29, 2006 at 12:23PM
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(No thread killing allowed!)

    Bookmark   April 29, 2006 at 12:38PM
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I would be very surprised if every single person IN here didn't feel like they'd killed a thread or two at one time or another. It happens. Life goes on. :-)

I know I stopped posting to the "female problems" threads with my little quips and jokes, because it seemed like all of the sudden, everyone realised "THERE'S A MAN IN THE HOUSE!" and stopped posting to it, and there were some kind of important and worthwhile threads that I felt like I ruined by posting.

    Bookmark   April 29, 2006 at 12:48PM
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awm03, thank you (I think?) and a (((big hug))) to you!

Sue, I can't believe that, you are the furthest thing from my mind when I think of a thread killer!

Bill, welcome to my DH's world. So many times he's come into the room with DDs & me chatting about woman's stuff and does an about face quick enough to cause whiplash!

    Bookmark   April 29, 2006 at 2:44PM
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Count me in as a Hampton fan. :)

Funny - I always think I must drive people nuts because I come up with these "great" ideas and then I don't get to do them or I change my mind. I haven't really done a room in awhile or my kitchen reno since we are trying to get the house ready to go on the market at the end of May. It is such a big hobby it makes me feel lost with out it. I need a new hobby!

    Bookmark   April 29, 2006 at 5:16PM
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It's true that some topics get more attention, but I don't think it has something to do with whether you like the person or not...at least I haven't had much time to notice that sort of thing.

But it's an interesting topic and thought Hamton :-)

Seems like you've gotten everyone's attention too!!lol

    Bookmark   April 29, 2006 at 9:44PM
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aw shucks hampton, I like you! and well, you know, what ELSE does one need? ;)

I've been SO bad about posting lately, but I'm always either too busy, too tired, or too lazy. I'm also not in a great place to give experienced advice yet. Although, lord knows I'm getting there.


    Bookmark   May 1, 2006 at 10:46AM
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Ok OK I am nice and loved and very definitely nifty.
My husband keeps a picture of us on his desk at work. Someone came into the office and said I looked very nice, kind and sweet. He said he was dumbfounded and choked on his cofee. Then he said, "Well, if you knew Mary, you would never call her sweet. But I do adore her."
Made me laugh.

    Bookmark   May 1, 2006 at 11:28PM
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hampton, you can treasure that comment, it says a lot.

    Bookmark   May 2, 2006 at 5:39AM
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I just gotta put in my two cents to complete this thread and prove that it's truly me! I'm the all-time thread killer. As a matter of fact, I also hold the record for the number of threads posted in the kitchen forum for which there were NO followups. (I woulda had one extra but sweet mitchdesj saved me once. Thanks mitchdesj!) Maybe I come across as either a whiner or a know-it-all (???) but I truly mean well. I think I guilted myself into starting the soapstone and finished kitchen blogs to prove that I really just want to be helpful ('cause I'm a total zero when it comes to giving decorating advice and truly appreciate the advice I was given during my remodel). Or maybe I drive people nuts because I'm forever emailing them about posting their kitchens in the FKB?

Am I whining again? Maybe I should have been star-eeyore instead of star-pooh.

    Bookmark   May 2, 2006 at 9:33PM
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Starpooh, you have an absolute, for all time, complete pass at GW as far as I am concerned. Of course, millions of others agree with me. The FKB got me through the following choices: Counter-top, pendants, backsplash, under-cabinet lighting, knobs, pulls, ...well, everything! Thanks for your hard work! kc

    Bookmark   May 2, 2006 at 11:37PM
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I've always been partial to Eeyore! ;)

    Bookmark   May 2, 2006 at 11:43PM
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Please, to all of you thread-killers, rest assured that it's me that's the ultimate thread-killer. Even before this thread was started, I felt this way. I guess I just annoy people. I don't mean to. I'm not a mean person. But I don't post nearly as often b/c of it. No one even acknowledged my CMart post which was meant to be helpful. Actually, on Appliances, someone accused my post of being "fishy"! Whatever. This thread is now officially dead since I just posted :>(

p.s. to all of you above, please know that I don't dislike any one of you and a lot of times don't post on a thread b/c I don't want to kill it, nothing personal at all. You all are great forum "friends".

    Bookmark   May 3, 2006 at 10:20AM
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Yep, I've killed my share of threads. I've also posted several questions that have died a quick death. I just assume no one knows the answer.

I don't post on many technical or installation-related threads since I have no expertise. I will admit that several posters' names always catch my attention for silly reasons (live nearby so I feel like we're neighbors, braver DIYer than I, similar kitchen, helped me out with a great answer in the past). I'm guilty of posting annoyingly useless *wow that's cool* or *I agree* comments to some of their threads.

This place is so big now that I rarely read threads with the generic subject line 'Help!' but none of my kitchen friends rub me the wrong way. The true grumps hang out in the Laundry Room!

    Bookmark   May 3, 2006 at 3:32PM
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I'm now going to prove that I'm the real thread-killer. Proudmamato4, you might have noticed that a lot of threads on the Laundry forum get little or no response. I read your post about CMart but since I don't know anything about the store I didn't feel comfortable just posting to say "thanks for providing this information which is likely interesting to many people, but is not relevant to me :)"

Only once was someone ever nasty to me on Gardenweb, and that was on the Cookware forum.

    Bookmark   May 3, 2006 at 9:43PM
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Well, Hamptonmeadow, I have to admit that recently you posted on a thread in the Home Decorating Conversations Forum which put a halt to it, and I didn't understand what you were getting at with your comment. It was a thread asking what to do about used but good mattresses--donate them, sell them, or other solutions. Your response was "I donate mine to the local massage parlour." I guess it was supposed to be funny, right, even though the thread was serious? Actually, I'm not even sure what prompted your message--it was awkward, and the thread stopped after that. Until then, I hadn't thought of your posts one way or the other, but now, I'm aware of you, so to speak.

Freedom of speech is an important freedom, and you should write whatever you want. The fact that you started this thread means you are questioning your own style of response. Sountds like you're looking for validation, which you will get from the friendly and kind folks on this forum.

    Bookmark   May 4, 2006 at 9:55AM
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akchicago, I am certainly seeking validation. After all, it is all about me. I thank you so much for your kind words. I was a little taken aback by your comments, as it seems the options re mattresses had been covered, but since you mention it as being awkward, have you some difficulty in considering massage parlours as an inappropriate place to discuss on this forum? I think you will be sorely disappointed if you are uncomfortable about anything that seems in your mind "awkward". While we do have some restraint here, many times these posts do move in the area of the slightly risque.

I think you take things a little too seriously. But if that makes you comfortable then by all means continue to do so. You are a valued member of this community. Just don't talk about politics or religion. Those seem to be definite no nos.

    Bookmark   May 4, 2006 at 12:00PM
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Some people definitely are humor-impaired. Maybe it's the internet effect, but unless it's *really* obvious, they just don't get it.

Hamptonmeadow, here's a little validation coming your way.

(Now someone, please say something. I have killed enough threads already.)

    Bookmark   May 4, 2006 at 12:42PM
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OK wodderlander, I'll end the thread for you. I can hear the crickets already.

And everybody knows that they don't use mattresses in massage parlors!

Nina (OK, maybe it's just me)

    Bookmark   May 4, 2006 at 1:46PM
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Hamptonmeadow, I did not say massage parlor talk was inappropriate. If you want to talk about them, please start a thread about them! It might be interesting since I've never been in one. Freedom of speech is important as I already mentioned. I was actually responding to your original post. The awkwardness I noted in that other thread was cause your message was "out of the blue", didn't seem to relate to anything and did not address the OP's heartfelt subject. I have a sense of humor--I was just more interested in seeing the thread continue rather than halt.

I should have been more specific to answer your question, "If people don't lke you does that cause fewer people to answer one's posts?" It's not that people don't like you that would cause them not to answer posts (see all the previous kind messages). It's that what you decide to write could cause threads to come to a halt as it did in that other thread. You asked for feedback, and now I've given some negative, so I expect you'll really want to shoot me down, but I'm just responding to what you asked.

    Bookmark   May 4, 2006 at 5:28PM
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We don't shoot people down here. You must never expect that and if it happens, then be free to ask for some support.

If you didn't want the thread to end may I suggest you post your opinion and keep it going? That is what happens although all of us have killed a thread a few times. We don't have to be passive and let a thread end that interests us. Go the hundreds of posts threads in the appliance forum to see what I mean. Now those folks are serious! I love that forum and love laundry too.

I don't mind negative. It is helpful and always welcomed, by me anyway. Have at it sweetie!

    Bookmark   May 4, 2006 at 9:24PM
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hamptonmeadow; Your posts on the laundry forum received many replies. Who posts does not matter to me, I just pay attention to the titles and if it sounds interesting I open it, if not I pass it by.

    Bookmark   May 11, 2006 at 9:51AM
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I post too only when I feel I have something to contribute so please don't feel your posts are being ignored. You are welcome here.

And, in defense to some of the long-time Kitchen Forum posters, there are times when you post and think, why bother, because it leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

For example, not too long ago, someone asked if anyone had a Moen Extensa faucet and if they did, could they answer a few questions. Having 2 Moen Extensa faucets, I felt qualified to respond and did so. After posting, I continued to monitor the thread just in case the OP came back with additional questions. That was my mistake. The next poster says words to the effect "I looked at Moen Extensa faucets and saw they had a plastic spray button on the top which looked cheap so I went with something else" and then the poster went on to rave about the faucet he/she purchased that cost 3 times as much as a Moen Extensa. I shouldn't sit in judgment of that poster but I can't help but wonder how useful that post was to the OP who may or may not be able to afford a more expensive faucet and was really asking for people with Moen Extensa faucets to discuss their experiences with them. Had the next poster owned a Moen Extensa faucet and said "I really hate the plastic spray button and wish I'd never bought it," I'd have no quarrel with the post. But I would think, if one is considering the purchase of a Moen Extensa faucet, that means one has gotten past "appearance issues" and is interesting in hearing how the faucet performs, so a post of that nature is not only unhelpful, it's rude.

If you experience enough situations like that, your zeal for posting diminishes.

    Bookmark   May 13, 2006 at 9:25PM
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