The cat ate my underpants

hamptonmeadowApril 28, 2006

This is an attempt by me to make my posts more interesting and all inclusive so everyone can answer them.

I wish to know which of the BEHR, Fand B, C-2, Ellen K, SW and BM Pratt and Lambert and Citron and don't forget Michael's Muralo paint and what colors I shoud paint my crawl space. It is dark and filled with spiders. How can I brighten it up. Would dark colors make it pop more or would white be too boring. Would the VOCs drive the spiders out? Should I just do what I LOVE?

Thank you in advance.

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I think for a crawl space that dark, you definitely need a full spectrum paint...I like C-2...maybe Polenta?

or, have you tried stainless steel sheets?? that would refelct lots of light. but only if you polish it once a week with barkeepers friend and miracle cloths form teh solutions catlogue.

wait! I know--DOG FUR! I think spiders hate dog fur...

    Bookmark   April 28, 2006 at 1:00PM
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Oh man! I thought I was finally going to be able to contribute meaningful to one of your threads. You see...

My cat DOES eat my underpants! OK, the cat is really the ringleader and accomplice. She fishes them out of the laundry baskets and passes them off to the dog for snacks -- it's the dog that actually eats them. Dirty socks too. But the cat is definitely the one initiating the dirty deeds. I just had to buy 8 new pairs of underwear!

And on that note... Have you ever looked at the Size information on underpants? What they consider a 'Large'? It's VERY, VERY annoying... Can't they just use numbers? Why do they have to call a size 5/6 'Medium'? Those mediums look pretty darn small to me. If the average American woman wears a size 14 pant, she'd have to wear X-Large underpants, and that's just not nice...

And the styles? -- Who wears some of these things?! You see everything from stretchy cotton hipster shorts to a strip of lace at the waist with a loop of string. What's that string supposed to do? Who designs this stuff?

    Bookmark   April 28, 2006 at 2:40PM
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hamptonmeadow, sweeby,

YOU GUYS CRACK ME UP!!!! I DO have an underpants eating kitty (and shirts and sweatshirts and anything else cotton!) and it drives me nuts. At least it motivates me to keep shoes & clothes off the floor. He's absolutely not allowed in my closet either. Sweeby I completely agree w/you. I don't think my a$$ is THAT huge but mediums (and some large) leave a permanent impression that stays for hours!

And Hampton, I wish I knew more about paints but I'm a paint brand ignoramus. Sorry!

****hitting "enter" laughing***

    Bookmark   April 28, 2006 at 3:09PM
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Don't know nothin' 'bout paint but have mucho experience with cats & underpinnings.

Sweeby, I think you've crawled to the center of the laundry issue:
Why are there rude tags on our unmentionables and why would anyone design our sweet nothings to insult us as we attempt to move elegantly through our days?

Hamptonmeadow, do what you love. And if you don't like spiders, make sure you can see them, pop em out with something light/bright. I think the initial painting will drive them out, but eventually they'll crawl back. Lucky for them they don't have to wear underwear that doubles as floss.

    Bookmark   April 28, 2006 at 3:34PM
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I don't own a cat and I don't have a crawlspace so I can't contribute anything constructive to this thread but I do so love seeing my name on the screen!


    Bookmark   April 28, 2006 at 3:51PM
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No panty-eating animals around here, but the neighbor's dog eats socks. Pantyhose, athletic sox and dress socks- eats them in the house and then heaves them in the front yard. It's an evening event around here.

    Bookmark   April 28, 2006 at 4:03PM
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For a crawl space only Farrow and Ball will do. Try the color Dead Salmon, I don't know what it would look like in a crawl space(or a wall in a sitting room) but I want to be able to tell someone that it's Dead Salmon on the wall.

I confess to underwear stealing cats. They always end up in the litter box....I think my critters are trying to tell me something but I'm afraid to ask.

    Bookmark   April 28, 2006 at 4:39PM
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pecanpie, a serious moment: you might want to tell your neighbors that the dear family dog of someone we knew in NC actually died because he ate a sock and couldn't get it balled up in his intestines and he died and they couldn't figure it out until he was gone...:( Your neighbors might want to be more vigilant...

And on the lighter side I used to have a cat who didn't exactly steal clothes, but rather had his way with them, especially if they were my woolen sweaters...

    Bookmark   April 28, 2006 at 5:51PM
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Oh yeah, I too have a hairy palmed cat. He likes to fool around with pillows.

I once had a cat that stole anything gold..real gold. So off we went to the jewelry store. Made quite a score. Actually, she just stole my stuff and hid it under the rug along with her toys. Nothing like crunching the $400 gold necklace your hubby bought for your birthday.

    Bookmark   April 28, 2006 at 8:14PM
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I am quite enamoured with Dead Salmon.

    Bookmark   April 28, 2006 at 8:15PM
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Our dogs eat underpants and socks. Last time we all visited my daughter, she CHARGED me $24 for her undies that our dog had eaten, which he would not have done if she didn't leave them lying about on the floor. I don't know how she came up with that exact figure, but anyway.

One of her socks turned up on our way back home, in Las Cruces, New Mexico, a little the worse for having traveled through Carmi's entire intestinal tract. I considered washing it out, sending it back to her, and asking for some of my money back, but instead I emailed her a nice photo of it to show her that it wasn't truly lost for good. Served her right.

    Bookmark   April 28, 2006 at 9:11PM
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Flyleft, the dog has surgery semi-annually and is a regular recipient of mineral oil and whatever else one gives dogs that eat socks.

The family should keep the dog out of the house, if you ask me, or maybe put cayenne pepper on the socks. I'm afraid that the cayenne coupled with the 15 YO boy's socks could be combustible, though.

    Bookmark   April 28, 2006 at 10:58PM
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My cat never ate my underpants, but one of my dogs did, over and over and over. I'll respond later.

    Bookmark   April 28, 2006 at 11:08PM
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If the spiders are a problem, then a cat is your solution....underpants eating or no. Our cat Gremlin (a crawlspace grey alley cat) loves dark spaces and "plays" with spiders until they stop which point she bites their heads off. She's probably the perfect accessory for your crawlspace in it's current condition. Should I send her over?

If you're trying to make the spiders feel more comfortable I'd opt for a nice, pearlized coral Benjamin Moore to set off the webs.

Wooderlander, if I can find this particular bloom county cartoon I'll send it to you so that you can pass it on to your daughter. Milo contacts one of his neighbors to say that their pet python ate her dog Woogums, he then calls her later to let her know that it wasn't Woogums that the python ate but one of the neighbors fuzzy slippers. The neighbor says "I guess that says something about your snake." Milo replies "Madam, that says something about your FEET!"


    Bookmark   May 1, 2006 at 11:07AM
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Nina, great suggestion -- the pearlized coral allowing the webs to bloom and glow. Not enough homeowners think like you.

Rereading hamptonmeadow's original query, I realize I may have misunderstood her intentions. Indeed, she does show concern for the spiders' comfort!

For you, and the OP, I offer lovely but obscure housekeeping haiku.....


Don't worry, spiders,
I keep house

Kobayashi Issa
translated, Robert Hass

    Bookmark   May 1, 2006 at 12:32PM
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The dog I had before our current one didn't eat my underpants, but she would wait until we had company and then she would go up to my room and fish some out of the dirty laundry basket. These she proudly and lovingly presented to our guests.

    Bookmark   May 1, 2006 at 5:19PM
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I have decided to with black and white. It will show off the trantulas that I can buy online for a good price.

I thought about granite for the little counters I want to set around the room but fear it would be too cold for the trantulas. I am still torn about BM straw as a back ground for the little pets, but since they are fuzzy, I think their texture will add to the black and white theme.

What do you guys think?

    Bookmark   May 1, 2006 at 11:04PM
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she would wait until we had company and then she would go up to my room and fish some out of the dirty laundry basket. These she proudly and lovingly presented to our guests.

party favors? :-)

    Bookmark   May 1, 2006 at 11:09PM
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Your planned spider room sounds lovely Hampton.

Honed granite should be okay. Polished may be too slick for webs to adhere properly.

I'm thinking that the glare from white paint could make it difficult for the tarantulas to see their prey. Have you considered task lighting?

    Bookmark   May 2, 2006 at 12:21AM
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You also might want to think about installing radiant heating in order to make the crawl space more cozy. And I agree with bunglogrl about the honed granite. Or maybe a nice slate?

I still think that coral would be nice and warm, plus it would really pick up the brown in the tarantula's fur.

Demicent, I discovered that my ex was cheating on me when his dog presented me with a (cheap) red (synthetic) satin and lace thong that he had nosed out from under the bed. That wasn't mine. OK, in hindsight maybe I jumped to conclusions and he wasn't cheating on me...maybe the thong was his.


    Bookmark   May 2, 2006 at 10:29AM
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One other thing, Hampton. Tarantulas like to have a cozy place to nest. Particularly something like the coils in a box spring. Maybe if you had one that you could re-cover in a nice paisley it would not only add to the whole crawl space experience but also provide deluxe tarantula accommodations with a degree of privacy (for those times when the webs are littered with drained insect husks and unexpected guests stop by).

And remind me to tell you about the time that yet another exes pet tarantula went missing for about six months but was discovered when he flipped his mattress....


    Bookmark   May 2, 2006 at 11:09AM
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Love the party favors! I've known cats to do this, luckily none of mine. Guess I should be lucky my old kitty prefers clean laundry, esp fresh from the dryer.

Also love task lighting for the many-legged boarders though I don't know that they truly "need" this, tiny lights might be more for hamptonmeadow's viewing pleasure. I do think the little guys would appreciate radiant heat though.

I'm sticking by coral. It's relaxing and sets off all manner of creature, the black, the fuzzy brown, the albino.

Looooove paisley!

Nina, sounds like you've got material for a thread of your own, all those Xs with funny stories (maybe less so at the time). You could call it "housekeeping tales of romance & remorse" or "stories I wish weren't mine" or maybe just a simple list of your pet names for them..... I'm starting to see new meanings in your screen name!!!

    Bookmark   May 2, 2006 at 8:05PM
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"I thought about granite for the little counters I want to set around the room but fear it would be too cold for the trantulas."

I hear granite is "out" for spider 2004 don't ya know. ;-)

    Bookmark   May 3, 2006 at 3:37PM
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What you need are tuffets!

    Bookmark   May 3, 2006 at 4:45PM
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How could I have possibly forgotten tuffets? Perhaps in coral. yes, to the radiant heat. That way they will stay and not end up under the neighbors mattress.
I hope spiders don't wear underpants because they would be presented to Demicents's guests as party favors and would probably cause bad feelings.
Defintely honed granite. I also need a little something to make the crawl space POP.

    Bookmark   May 3, 2006 at 11:42PM
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Oh tuffets are simply done to death with's like roosters and French country, everyone will simply EXPECT tuffets with spiders.

Maybe some classic Queene Anne chairs, upholstered in an outrageous faux animal print? That will definitely make the crawlspace pop. But be careful because if it pops too much it will scare off the spiders.

Then again, if the spiders leave you can feel free to put in tuffets. And you won't have to worry about the spiders leaving their underpants lying around.

b'more, you should only know the parade of freaks that have wandered through my life. My taste in men has always


    Bookmark   May 4, 2006 at 1:42PM
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Imhappy&Iknowit IOWA zone 6b

Here it is, 8 years later but reading this thread seems just like earlier today. Same topics are STILL worrying everyone. First of all, you probably need to change the footprint of your crawlspace. Can you post a floor plan? Paint it Behr off white; which ever name suits you. Set a bunch of old granite chips in there in busy swirly pattern. Stick an island right smack in the middle. Bigger is always better. Have you considered a tall pull down faucet for the focal point? From the other suggestions I think you are on your way to a functional timeless crawlspace! Can't wait to see the tuffets. Almost forgot, mood lighting on a dimmer. Be sure to include that.

    Bookmark   January 19, 2014 at 5:21PM
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The things I've learned on GW.

All this time I blamed the dryer, and never thought to interrogate the cat.

I should have seen the signs. He alternates between tipping the hamper over, and just jumping right in it. Should have figured he wouldn't leave empty-handed.. err.. pawed.

    Bookmark   November 10, 2014 at 6:54PM
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