Health question & answer session

MariposaTraicioneraApril 20, 2007

Celtic, is this another type of mojo? :-)


Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the lifeof your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit.Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: You're not listening....Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around!!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! !

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"

Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Oh my...that is one of the funniest pieces I have EVER read. Thank you for a good laugh this Friday morning. Caroline

    Bookmark   April 20, 2007 at 11:15AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I'm going to take a Cabernet with me instead of's better with the chocolate :oP

    Bookmark   April 20, 2007 at 5:14PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Excellent!! Thanks for the laugh.

Hey do you know where that quote originated? I first saw as part of someone's sign off on another board, maybe a travel board someplace? Only with "..martini in one hand, strawberries in the other..."

One of my favorites! Even better with chocolate in there!

    Bookmark   April 21, 2007 at 6:30PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Mari, you gave me a good laugh. Laughter is healthy!!! And yes, "round is a shape".

    Bookmark   April 22, 2007 at 9:56AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I love it...and the older I get the better this piece of wisdom will fit. I'm taking a nap....after I have my milk and cookies.

Although, I did hear on the news that cardiovascular exercise wasn't what it has been made out to be. Another one of those scientific changes to what once was and will most likely change again. They were pushing the muscle strength/core balance.

    Bookmark   April 23, 2007 at 8:24AM
Sign Up to comment
More Discussions
Does this butler pantry addition add or detract from my kitchen?
My midcentury home has a very open plan and lots of...
Kitchen Reveal - White Cabinets/Soapstone
Hi all, I wanted to post the before/after pics of our...
Need floorplan advice/help
Hello everyone! Looking for floorplan advice on our...
Strategies for washing dishes in a large single sink vs double sink
Hi all, We have in our plans to get a large (33 inch)...
Ikea Cabinets & Butcherblock - Quality?
We're about 95% sure we're replacing our cabinets....
Sponsored Products
Marcy Diamond Mid-Size Bench - MD867
$194.99 | Hayneedle
Sunny Health & Fitness Doorway Chin Up Bar - 025
$19.98 | Hayneedle
Salsbury Industries Lockers 19000 Series 17.5 in. W x 31 in. H x 6.25 in. D 8 A
Home Depot
Kennel-Gear Supply Caddy with Plastic Bar Mount - 7540
$20.99 | Hayneedle
Virtu USA Bathroom Caroline Avenue 36 in. Single Vanity in White with Marble
Home Depot
Salsbury Industries Lockers 82000 Series 15 in. W x 78 in. H x 18 in. D 2-Tier
Home Depot
People viewed this after searching for:
© 2015 Houzz Inc. Houzz® The new way to design your home™