Waaaaay OT for parents of young teens

deee_gwMarch 26, 2006

On Friday we learned that a 14 year old boy from my daughter's close knit, academic magnet school accidentally killed himself playing a stupid "game". After laying awake the past couple of nights, thinking of something I could do for his devastated family, I decided that maybe letting other people know about the "game" would be one way I could make sense out of the tragedy.

Around here it's called the strangling game. Kids apparently think the feeling they get just before completely passing out is some kind of high. I also have read that boys think it heightens sexual feeling during masturbation. Insane, isn't it? Friend's will wrap cords around child's neck or press a finger on the neck artery until you give them a signal or you completely pass out. Joseph died while doing it to himself with a cord.

I had no idea that the "game" even existed. I thought if I let other parents know about it, it may stop other children from hurting or killing themselves. Thanks for reading and if you are a praying person, please pray for Joseph and his family.

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maddiemom6

I am so very sorry... I have heard that such things are going on around here in local schools... such peer presure is an awful thing. Too much unsupervised and unguided time for these kids. My heart goes out to all involved.

Maddiemom

    Bookmark   March 26, 2006 at 9:13AM
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weissman

It's not just kids - adults do this too!

    Bookmark   March 26, 2006 at 10:23AM
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whitevenetino

I just attended a lecture last week in the High School in our district and the speaker spoke of this ritual . . . . He knows of someone who recently died this way as well.

Just told my 13-year-old son about it. Of course he said, "I'd never do that,"-- but it is still important to warn them that they may come upon this type of activity-- and to leave the situation if they do.

    Bookmark   March 26, 2006 at 10:36AM
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nsf798

Michael Hutchence from the band INXS is suspected to have died this way. I have heard of kids making a game of it because of the high. How awful.

    Bookmark   March 26, 2006 at 10:45AM
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allison0704

What an awful thing for the child, parents, friends and family. There was a 10th grade girl out our school last year who was teasing her brother after a fight; she said she was going to get him in trouble and she ended up hanging herself. He tried to pick her up and get her down, but couldn't. The mom was out jogging.

Not long after that another girl hung herself in the garage after her step-father picked her up from school. Did she get the idea of hanging from the accident? Sad thing is, she had told someone at school she was suicidal, counselors couldn't get in touch with her mother, called the step-father who she did not get along with. He dropped her off at home, then went back to work without calling his wife/her mother.

Talk to your children. Tell them it could happen to them or their friends also. Ask them if they know of anyone who does this for fun. You'd be surprised what your teenagers will tell you, especially after a tragedy.

    Bookmark   March 26, 2006 at 11:20AM
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hamptonmeadow

Not AGAIN!

    Bookmark   March 26, 2006 at 11:23AM
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wangshan

Dee my sympathy to you and the family. Teenagers are so emotionally labile sometimes and their brains...yikes. They need to be warned, they need to understand the consequences of their actions, and even then who knows. You just pray every day to keep them safe and healthy and pray for a guardian angel to watch over them.

    Bookmark   March 26, 2006 at 11:40AM
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blsdgal

I did a paper on this when I ws getting my MS in nursing. Do a search on "auto erotic asphyxiation".

Scary, scary stuff.

My sympathy.

    Bookmark   March 26, 2006 at 3:58PM
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koala_em

Firstly, sorry to hear about this terrible story.
Just a suggestion. When a dear friend of mine lost her husband (he was 37) I cooked her a meal or two- every 10 days to a fortnight for 6 months. Things she could freeze.
She told me later that it helped her cope having one less meal to prepare. Especially when the sympathy dust cleared, it helped to know someone still cared.
Emmy

    Bookmark   March 26, 2006 at 5:46PM
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valleykat

The same thing happened in a neighboring community to a young girl this winter, a great all around kid and student. It was hard to believe, but I guess it's not that uncommon as we would like to think.

    Bookmark   March 26, 2006 at 7:37PM
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sunny_ne

I am the parent of a young teen and I am saddened and also shocked to hear of this. Thank you for making me aware.
My heart goes out to the family.

    Bookmark   March 26, 2006 at 8:38PM
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scalawag

I am so terribly sorry to hear about this, but unfortunately, not surprised. I actually saw a Dr. Phil show on this topic recently. Apparantly, its not just an auto-erotic thing. Younger teens in particular, thought this was a "safe" way to get high. According to this show, kids who would never consider drugs, thought this was a fun way to catch a little buzz. Kids were doing it at slumber parties, alone, and one on one with friends. Thank you for sharing this. It underscores how important it is to talk to our kids.

    Bookmark   March 27, 2006 at 12:29PM
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stoneonecorp

Just an FYI....This "game" has been aroubd for a long time. My friends and I would do it in junior high, which was 1990 for me....We stopped once a girl took what I guess you would call a seizure. Not the smartest thing to do, but this practice is nothing new

    Bookmark   March 27, 2006 at 2:35PM
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jotx

A boy from my neighborhood died from this when I was a teen back in the late 70's. So it has been around for a long time. They found out that he had been getting into some of the neighbors homes and stealing womens panties. It was so disturbing at the time and still is today.

    Bookmark   March 27, 2006 at 4:34PM
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seekingadvice

A student of mine died this way about 17 years ago. Not long after, similar deaths occurred with 2 other kids, but no one ever really confirmed what happened in the latter 2 cases.

Unfortunately, it's one of those things that will persist in spite of our warnings, but at least we can talk to our kids about it. The truth is, most of them already know it's dangerous which is probably part of the allure. I'm very sorry this happened - senseless, preventable deaths are so awful. It would be great if no child ever sniffed from a whipped cream can, drove too fast, drank alcohol, tried drugs, took chances with strangers etc but the reality is that young people are particularly vulnerable to such things and will continue to make bad choices from time to time as part of their maturation process. The best thing we can do is keep the lines of communication open and stress the importance of making good choices by modeling that, and hope that the bad choices they DO make will not bring them harm.

I shudder to think what could have happened to me from some of the things I did when I was young, and I wasn't anything close to a rebel. I was just one of the lucky kids that didn't wind up a negative statistic.

My warmest thoughts to you at this time.

    Bookmark   March 30, 2006 at 12:42PM
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