Long overdue THANKS to many of you!!
I wanted to THANK some of you for being honest and blunt with me a while back. This forum allows us to do that. I figured some of you may have wondered where we ended up. A big THANKS is long overdue!!
My then middle school aged DD was having problems. Besides normal growing up there were serious peer issues, social media, my having breast cancer just to name a few factors getting in the way of her decisions. Several suggested counseling, getting DH more involved etc. My DH and I finally did come together with complete honesty about the situation. We found a child with low self esteem, bullied by peer, but talented and worth more than what some adults felt she was worth. I reduced my hours at work to pick her up after school. We removed her from all forms of social media. Removed her social circle. She was pretty much with us 24/7. The high school admin and school sherrif saw her like we did, a child worth saving. They stepped in and kept her safe at school. She started to feel safe, the creeps stopped bothering her. The VP literally would walk up to anyone he thought was checking her out and would tell them to move on. It was like a shield. Her "friends" moved on without her, after a few months of them harassing her daily (we are talking out loud shouting profane things at her for no reason but to cause her mental anguish). She found refuge in the only safe place, the band room, with a teacher who saw her worth and our desire to help her. Music became her love and it carried her through the last few years. Last fall my DD said to me "I finally see why you did what you did for me, I get it now". We haven't completely let down our guard but it is a much happier life for all. It is like she lived in a fog and now that the fog is lifted she can see how wonderful her teen life can be, and now is.
Would I do it all over again?? ABSOLUTELY!! Was it easy? NO!! We almost lost her,once. She tried going to her bff's house. The mom is my friend and helped her see that HOME is the only place she needed to be. DD realized that WE loved her and all the drama had to be removed from her life for her to see that. Every child is worth it. I don't care if some kids or their parents think I am a biotch or overprotective. We had to stand up for our kid and say "enough!". Every time I see the admin he tells me she is worth it. He tells her how proud he is of her. Every time we see her old friends on the street or hear about their problems, she is reminded of how much our efforts were worth it. She is so relieved to not be in all the drama. She is surrounded by positive people and life choices that she makes. No one but her decides her fate anymore.
So, thanks again. Hug your bratty teen and love them to the moon and back again!!!!