Why would an Original Poster not acknowledge responses?

minikitJanuary 30, 2007

Two weeks ago I responded to a Kitchen Forum post that was off-topic, and (with my dearth of knowledge about kitchens) it was the rare occasion when, with a google search, I could offer an answer. The OP's question was time-sensitive, and perhaps that's why mine was the only response. In any case I never found out if I'd given her what she was looking for.

I don't expect effusive expressions of gratitude, though I do often see them--and even offer them! A simple "ok, thanks" would do. Her non-response stood out because I rarely encounter it on this, the most congenial of forums.

Curious if she 1) was frantically busy or 2) had dropped dead after posting, I just did a search. Nine of her threads elicited responses, and in all but one she disappeared after her initial request.

Fortunately, most folks seem to recognize that we're a community of volunteers and that busyness doesn't outrank courtesy.

Anyone else experience this lately?

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Lots of people visit these forums and once in a while you'll get that - a "hit-and-run". You get used to it. I post on different forums and sometimes can't remember everything I've posted. So I might have hit-and-run myself on occasion!

    Bookmark   January 30, 2007 at 5:34PM
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hi minikit - I was just wondering about the same thing! I took the time the other day to compose a detailed response to a question on the discussion side and was surprised and a little miffed that it was not acknowledged. Oh well, considering the number of people passing through the forum, I'm just happy it doesn't happen more often.

    Bookmark   January 30, 2007 at 6:02PM
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It's funny you mention this topic... A couple of times I've taken notice of posters who ask a myriad of detailed questions and get generous responses, but never *ever* offer advice or answer questions of others. For them, the forum is strictly a one-way street of information. I know no one is obligated to answer on the board, but, gosh, when you see someone struggling with the same thing you just worked through, aren't you tempted to help out?

    Bookmark   January 30, 2007 at 6:36PM
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Yes, I've had that happen and must admit I get a little disgruntled by it. OTOH, I have had times when I couldn't muster the emotional energy to respond to something another had thoughtfully put together for me, so I am guilty of the very thing that ticks me off. I try not to let that happen too often--most of the time it is with something I find emotionally sensitive, not a kitchen topic. If I've done it to anyone reading this, my sincerest apologies as I am always appreciative when someone takes the time to compose a response to me.

In a case like you describe, I think it's just bad manners!

    Bookmark   January 30, 2007 at 6:55PM
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A couple of times I've taken notice of posters who ask a myriad of detailed questions and get generous responses, but never *ever* offer advice or answer questions of others. For them, the forum is strictly a one-way street of information.

Welcome to my world. :-) It COULD be worse. As alot of you know, from time to time, I'll have a poster email me so I can give them my number and things can be discussed in a normal detailed conversation. I've now had it happen twice-- once a year ago, and once about 2 months ago, where I had a poster call, we discussed what needed to be discussed, and then with not even so much as a good bye, all I get is "CLICK"! As the cliche goes, it takes all kinds, and you'll find every one of em in here. :-)

    Bookmark   January 30, 2007 at 7:11PM
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Hi Minikit!

I agree, it is disappointing when you take time to assist someone and they fail to offer a simple acknowledgement and/or thanks. Sometimes it's probably a case of the OP either 'losing' or forgetting about his/her thread - other times it is poor manners. Like seekingadvice, I hope I haven't been guilty of this, as it irks me, as well.

Callieandkarin is right on, there are a few posters who start numerous threads, receive many gracious & helpful replys, yet consistantly fail to assist others - not cool!

    Bookmark   January 30, 2007 at 7:12PM
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I love it when the op comes back and gives some kind of feedback on what happened or what he/she ended up doing ; it gives closure and an "ending" on whatever the saga was. What some people don't realize is that if your post moves down the list, just posting a simple thank you will bump it back up and you might get more responses....

Don't forget that some people are not on-line all the time or some have limited computer access; some might not take the time to search for their posts on other pages.

This kitchen forum is very fast moving !!

    Bookmark   January 31, 2007 at 5:33AM
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Jeesh, I hope I'm not one of them. Sometimes I forget where I posted and have to head into the forums with a search on my name. But as Bill said...these forums are running fast. plus without the option to know a response to a response has been made, if it wasn't one's original thread, can get lost in the shuffle.

There have been a few times I answered a post because no one else did and hate it when this happens to me. And, yes, they never made the effort to respond back. I also have posted new posts without any responses, a tad embarassing and on some of the forums those are the ones that hang around at the top forever. Just recently I answered my own lonely post to bump it down. Wish we could delete them.

So...yes, I do feel the same as you on occasion. But starting to get a stronger backbone and realize it is what it is in this world of the net.

    Bookmark   January 31, 2007 at 9:06AM
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Gosh I hope I didn't do that drive-by-help-me you described! I've stated many times that when it came to my remodel, you were the single most important asset to me other than my architect and by far and away the most useful at the GW since my woes were so tile and tile sub-structure related. It would be quite galling to me if I behaved the way you described when you were *so* helpful to me OR to allow it to be that while I told others that you were so helpful that I never conveyed that to you. If so, you should know that both for my bathroom window problem as well as the broken kitchen tile story I did a forensic analysis pretty much along the lines you or the person your recommendation (Mr. G.) advised had them institute a fix pretty much right along the lines you guys specified. So, seriously, when I say that you were responsible for the successful resolution/completion of my project I mean it.

Minikit, I've been meaning to make a post asking you to please email me. I tried to do so over the weekend but could not as you don't have an email link. Just a couple of local recommendations for ideas/concepts/sources that I found useful to me in drafting my remodel ...

    Bookmark   January 31, 2007 at 10:38AM
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I usually try to at least acknowledge the fact someone took the time and effort to post a reply and say thank you. Sometimes I admit I get busy and don't get to it for a couple of days. I also have been "hit & run" a couple of times. No acknowledgement or thank you. When this person does it enough times, they pretty soon get no replies to their questions and they wonder why.

Bill - I have a SIL that does that. Just bam and she'd hang up, sometimes in the middle of a sentence, no goodbye. And she only called when she wanted something, not a social call. For a year I let the answering machine pick up and didn't return her calls so she stopped calling. Who needs the aggravation! (Good thing they far far away!)


    Bookmark   January 31, 2007 at 10:53AM
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I don't post often and the few times I have tried to come back and post in the same question I get a message saying that I have already posted! So how do you get around that? I must be missing something here!

Thanks in advance

    Bookmark   January 31, 2007 at 11:10AM
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Hey there minikit! Long time. Hope you're well and thriving.

Not much surprises me these days.

    Bookmark   January 31, 2007 at 11:57AM
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partst, you can post again by changing the subject line.

    Bookmark   January 31, 2007 at 12:42PM
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"I don't post often and the few times I have tried to come back and post in the same question I get a message saying that I have already posted! So how do you get around that? I must be missing something here!"

If you are coming right back, then you need to 'refresh' so that your post will show up.

If you are coming back after some time, and someone is just reminding you, then it's probable that your original post moved to another page. As someone already stated, this board moves fast, and this morning's post can be on page 3 by evening. Sometimes, if you forget to check the box that will allow responses to be mailed to you, you are asking a question that was already answered on your original post/ You can run a search on your own user name, but know that searches don't work until about a day after the post---I suspect that the software renews every night regarding the search function.

Some of us who have been around a long time suffer from posting fatigue. Answering the same questions year after year. We are thrilled to have new people come along and jump in with energy and enthusiasm and carry a lot of the load.

    Bookmark   January 31, 2007 at 12:48PM
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Thanks Gina and fairgold. I knew I must be missing something.

    Bookmark   January 31, 2007 at 2:11PM
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Interesting to know that there's a name for it--"hit-and-run"--and that some of you have also noticed the "one-way street" phenomenon.

I myself am sensitive to the issue of taking-without-giving because I seem to be in a perpetual state of learning rather than teaching. My DIY kitchen's "transition" (euphemism du jour) has been so long that I despair of ever having any lessons-learned to share. For that reason I'm reluctant to ask a lot of questions. However, your answers to other people's questions have been so useful that I do jump in when I can add something.

Rudeness is, unfortunately, a fact of virtual as well as "real" life, and thoughtlessness is even more widespread, possibly because of our anonymity. Naturally, I hope that this thread pokes The Merely Thoughtless. The Repeatedly Rude I consider beyond reach.

By the way, I was not referring to ANY New Englanders, much less anyone I met at lunch last Saturday. (What a great bunch!) The OP in question is far away and, barring a sudden cross-country move, won't be at a future get-together. Otherwise, I couldn't have started this thread!

Mindstorm, thanks much for the offer of info! I'll e-mail you.

Rococogurl, good to hear from you! I did finally figure out that you had a new username, and I think of you whenever I get a notice for yet another oriental-rug auction. I'll send you an e-mail.

I guess I should make my e-mail address available (when I first registered, it was), but I've heard that some of you find it attracts spam from this site. My e-mail account allows for multiple addresses, and I'll look into adding one specifically for THS.

And for all of you who've posted here.... You knew, of course, that I wouldn't go two weeks without acknowledging YOUR responses! ;-)

    Bookmark   January 31, 2007 at 3:18PM
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As to the one-way-street, I'm sure I've asked more questions than I've answered. That's because I feel so clueless on most issues of design that I don't think I can really offer much in the way of help to others. I can offer encouragement, though, and try to chime in when someone is posting their finished pictures, etc. Maybe this is the case with some other posters as well.

    Bookmark   January 31, 2007 at 4:57PM
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minikit -- you know I love a rug sale. But much to tell; we'll need to catch up.

quietlife -- Lots of folks ask and encourage. minikit is referring to real "hit an run' artists -- something that's been going on here for about a year to my reckoning; perhaps a bit longer.

But then for all those who don't respond, others give a great deal. So hopefully it evens out along the way.

    Bookmark   January 31, 2007 at 5:17PM
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Mindstorm-- No-- the two people I'm talking about, I haven't seen post since I spoke to them.

    Bookmark   January 31, 2007 at 6:05PM
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I try to always thank those who offer answers, but just the other day I found a post that I'd forgotten about and for which I received an answer; I apologized and thanked her. Hope I didn't lose any more! It's true that sometimes a post scrolls by so quickly that I've forgotten to look for it, especially if I've written several in one day, or at least several comments.

I wrote a post once thanking all the long-time posters for being so generous with their experience, knowledge and time, but it scrolled off so quickly that perhaps not many saw it. I'd like to repeat, that I and so many others are very grateful to you all! My project hasn't started yet nor have I been been able to finalize anything yet, so I'm still full of questions and not much help with answers. But I think it's invaluable to have whittled decisions down to a few, which I never would have been able to do without this website.

    Bookmark   January 31, 2007 at 7:20PM
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I understand your sentiment Mini, but I wouldn't take it personally.

No one hangs around a forum unless they get something out of it. GW is a give and take place. Some ask questions hoping for answers, and some answer questions because they like to help and it makes them feel good...needed :-). And some pass through with a question, get their answer and move on. Does it matter? Are members required by some unwritten law to stay here forever?

This topic has been around before and will probably pop up again. Don't take the lack of a response personally. I'd rather that than some of the insults, put-downs, and harassment that I've seen at times. Now back to my homework i.e. measuring shelves and drawers for my Cushy Cupboard order. See? My mind is elsewhere like so many. No wonder they don't remember to respond!LOL


    Bookmark   January 31, 2007 at 7:59PM
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Wow, I hope it wasn't me. I do sometimes forget a post that I have made. On the other hand, after this project, I hope to contribute more but since I have had the "Ripley's Believe It Or Not" regarding how long it has taken me, my confidence level is pretty shot. When I see a post I am very sure I can help, I do. And, I hope I have replyed to my own OP's. Could not have done this without the help of the forum!

    Bookmark   January 31, 2007 at 8:58PM
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Yikes! I didn't mean to induce anxiety attacks among other OPs. As far as I can tell, the OP in question doesn't participate in the Conversations, and she didn't say why she asked her non-kitchen question on the Discussion side.

Rococogurl: "But then for all those who don't respond, others give a great deal. So hopefully it evens out along the way." Yes, and you are one of the most helpful and nonjudgmental givers.

Quietlife3 and Sjerin, I agree: we can offer little help but tons of gratitude.

Bill V, everybody BUT those two callers recognizes your generosity. Anyway, how could anyone hang up on you? From what I've been told, your voice alone should keep them on the line. ;-)

Mariposa, I didn't know that the topic had come up before. You're right that it's a minor irritant, and even major irritants (insults from strangers) shouldn't be taken personally. Have you ever hung out at the Laundry Forum?! It's the only place I know where dueling detergents CAUSE bloodshed rather than cleaning it up.

Shequit, I'm sorry to break this to you, but I already hold the Guinness record for length of time between kitchen teardown and actual remodeling. Or I will, once they add that category. I can't divulge how long: it's too embarrassing.....

    Bookmark   January 31, 2007 at 11:29PM
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Hi Mini!

Funny how a bunch of us Boston areas congregated on this thread! I am so glad you raised this point, because I had actually stopped posting replies on all my threads -especially the more minor ones with only a few answers - because I thought perhaps it was becoming overkill to acknowledge every little thing. Then again, sometimes I have thought to myself that I will let the answers accumulate a bit and then respond - and managed to lose track of my post.

Knowing it is appreciated, I will go back to being more diligent.

So great to get to see you Boston gals!

    Bookmark   January 31, 2007 at 11:48PM
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I said this at the Real Life meeting but I find that I really can't navigate the garden web site all that sucessfully--and I'm by no means a computer/internet novice. I often forget to click the "have emails sent to me" button and then I can't find my original thread for love or money. Mindstorm had a detailed explanation for when and how threads refreshed or something but I couldn't really understand it--so maybe its not that I'm "not a novice" but that I'm an idiot?--Even when I do click the "notify me" box I find (maybe someone can help me with this?) that when I click the link it doesn't take me back to *my thread* but just back to gardenweb, that means I have do to another global search for my original thread and you know I don't care what mindstorm says I often don't find it. Then there is no way to respond to the thoughtful poster.

Another reason why threads get lost, and perhaps thank yous, is that even if you can check back a few times (say you aren't getting the direct emails) sometimes the threads kind of wander off on their own, cease to be relevant to your original question, and then they really drop off your radar. If at that point some kind person comes on and puts their life's work down on the original topic (hand crafted zodiac sign door knobs no bigger than a half dime) you've long since stopped checking. Some threads really live a long time past the moment when the OP is checking the board.

my point here, and I do have one, is that its always better to assume stupidity than malice, or accident than even stupidity. The saddest thing, to me, is the thought of a long, carefully crafted post that goes *unread* not unthanked. I think of the incredible wealth of detail that the people at the appliance board put into their engineer's speccing of various stoves. I didnt even post on those threads, just lurked, but I learned so much!

Maybe its time to have a shout out to posters in general who have put their expertise to good use?


    Bookmark   February 2, 2007 at 11:37AM
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I just re-read your OP and I see that your original poster's post doesn't fall into the kitchen threads/fast moving/lost model at all. A person who posts off topic on the conversations thread on a specialized topic has no excuse for not posting a thank you. There's accident and then there is bad manners and that is just bad manners.


    Bookmark   February 2, 2007 at 11:40AM
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There are those of us that view this site and the people that participate, a community. Many here have some degree of emotional vestment, as often off-topic conversations include poignant, sensitive & personal issues - yes, under the guise of anonymonity, BUT there has to be some sense of value & trust, as well. The support that this community provides runs deeper than the nuts & bolts of a kitchen remodel, imo. Perhaps that's why some semblance of common curtesy is anticipated, in spite of such earth shattering & momentous decisions as drawer liners?

Evidently, some feel it appropriate to participate only if THEY 'get something' out of the deal or if it's rewarded in some manner, which is unfortunate.

BTW, minikit, I finally found the thread iq & have to agree with abfab's assessment.

    Bookmark   February 2, 2007 at 12:56PM
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abfab, I'm not fomenting a board-search thwarting conspiracy against you ... believe me. ;-)

Maybe this will help illustrate what I was trying to explain - and it well may NOT have been what you were asking about anyhow since I've never tinkered with the "nofify me" box ...

I just did a search at the bottom of the page for "minikit Original Poster" trying to raise this thread. Here is a link to the few threads the search returned, the first being this page.

Now, since you *just* posted AND if you perchance read my response early enough in the day, if you do the same search for "abfab Original Poster", you will *NOT* find this thread - although there are about 17 or so other threads.

The reason I can't find this thread under YOUR name (if you look 'ere this evening) is that ivillage stores an "image" of what this board looked like at a certain hour late in the day (it is somewhat late at night - about 2300hrs or midnight or maybe 1:00 in the night I forget now). Any search parameters you enter, are searched against the snapshot of this board that was stored back then, and not against this actual database as you are seeing it right now. So, until they regenerate their database later this pm, "abfab Original Poster" will not bring up THIS thread.

On the other hand, you could have posted something 15 minutes before ivillage regenerated the database of this board. And then if, 30 minutes after you posted (after they had resync'd the database), you did a search for your name + topic, you would find the item. That fact does tend to throw people off a bit because sometimes they can find a freshly posted item and many times they cannot but what we sometimes forget about is that the search function doesnot operate against the dynamic board itself - but rather, an old image of the board.

Hopefully this is clear. Either way it doesn't matter - 9times out of 10, it won't help you find an item you posted on that day ;-)

Hope you're doing well.

    Bookmark   February 2, 2007 at 1:48PM
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Hey mindstorm, thanks for the write up of your explanation. I think I get it now. I'm also clearly not searching properly anyway.

I'm sick as a dog. My husband and I are *both* on antibiotics and are lucky enough to have sent the children to my mother's (you don't know how improbable I find that sentence to type, its a first) for the entire weekend. We are collapsed and going to watch a season or two of six feet under. Is this romance after children? apparently.


    Bookmark   February 2, 2007 at 6:56PM
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Bill V, everybody BUT those two callers recognizes your generosity. Anyway, how could anyone hang up on you? From what I've been told, your voice alone should keep them on the line. ;-)

Geez, maybe I SHOULD consider a career change-- call it the Gardenweb NIGHTLINE!!

Pauline, see what you started??? LMAO

    Bookmark   February 2, 2007 at 11:02PM
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Man, talk about the power of suggestion!! As I was posting that, I'm sitting here feeling the need to CLEAR MY THROAT!!

    Bookmark   February 2, 2007 at 11:04PM
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lol Bill, I only speak the truth. Perhaps a career as a country western singer would be the way for you to go ;)

    Bookmark   February 3, 2007 at 9:17PM
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Geeeeez. I'm going to install a mess of tile. Maybe I should dream up some questions just so I can call Bill and have a listen. Or Bill could save us all some time and just put up a video on YouTube!

    Bookmark   February 4, 2007 at 3:00PM
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"so maybe its not that I'm "not a novice" but that I'm an idiot?"

abfab, I'm going to use this--may I? It's cracking me up.

When I mess something up, I'm going to say, oh so blithely, "Oh, I'm sorry--I'm not a novice, just an idiot!" As if somehow it's better to be an idiot than a novice! tone of voice will be everything.

    Bookmark   February 8, 2007 at 1:21PM
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Hey! I asked this same question today at the Kitchen Table forum. I don't mind looking things up for people. I enjoy the challenge of finding things others can't. But a simple "thank you" would be nice, so that I know what I did wasn't a waste of time and that you in fact did appreciate the work that I did to help you out. I think it's only common courtesy to say a simple "thank you!". It only takes a 1/2 minute to post that (on dsl, anyways... LOL)

    Bookmark   February 8, 2007 at 5:31PM
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Although more times than not, you'll get that thank you, there are many times you won't. If it's something that really bothers you (not getting that acknowledgement of your efforts) you'd probably do well not to do the research, because it WILL happen. It's just a matter of fact. Some people were just raised in a barn, so to speak (no offense against farm animals :-) ).

    Bookmark   February 8, 2007 at 6:38PM
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Bill, I can't believe those folks called you & just hung up! And yet I can! In my "not so virtual" life I do quite a bit of volunteer work. While I don't expect flowers or parades, I am amazed that occasionally I get the equivalent "hang up" at the end of my "service." Not often, but when it happens it does give me pause. With similar high regard for our farmyard friends, I do know just what you mean! Luckily most folks are appreciative of kindness and the time of another.

minikit et al, I find that this is yet another area in which I benefit from a failing memory. This stuff was probably quite a nuisance for me a few years ago, who knows. Now I'm more likely to forget I made an attempt to help than the OPs! Still, we all love our attempts acknowledged. I'm tickled that I just figured out your name is more about "small kitchens" than "mini-skirts." Can't believe I missed that, being a fan of the tiny kitchen myself. Should wear my glasses when I join you.....

    Bookmark   February 15, 2007 at 1:29AM
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I know I posted about a conflict with my kitchen guy and your support helped get me through the day. I posted back thanks then the next day or to ramses or pharoh posted asking questions. I didn't answer because I had resolved my problem. Mostly, I couldn't answer because it was to emotional and I needed to distance myself.

But may I take a moment to say thanks again to everyone for their support. And thanks to ramses/pharoh. Please understand why I didn't post back. I just couldn't emotionally go there.

    Bookmark   February 16, 2007 at 2:02PM
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This site proved to be a real lifesaver for me and I have said as much before this. I am not truly computer literate. I just prayed a lot and kept coming back to check on a response when I needed help. I was always so amazed at the knowledge of the posters. Amazed and extremely grateful are the words that I would use. I couldn't always find my original question right away, but I persevered due to desperation! I want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.....I can't imagine someone doing an intentional "drive-by." If it hadn't been for so many offering assistance, I would be in a mental institution right now, clutching a kitchen magazine ever so tightly.

    Bookmark   February 16, 2007 at 8:07PM
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Hi Minikit-

I just hope it wasn't me, though the search engine doesn't reveal that. I have generally tried to respond to posts and to give input to others where I could - but this last two weeks leave my head spinning now that the workers have returned. It seems I am answering questions or out there in the local stores shopping to keep the project running or else buying the miscellany they need from HD. Add to that one of these lingering colds, and trying to catch up with the "real life" responsibilities. Like - right now I should be buying paint and painting our one working bathroom while son is on retreat and DH is out playing tennis!

Another very real problem is when you post around on the various GW forums - the search engine doesn't give you everything you've posted, even when you "search entire sight." I know that to be true, because I search everytime before posting new - and I just now had the embarassment of realizing that on the Buying and Selling site - I not only redundantly posted a message - but had left 34 considerate replies unanswered! I only found that by casually scrolling down the site after I had posted!

Ah, well.

What's really cool though - is that you and I got to be 3D instead of 2D thanks to Pauline's NE gathering! Now - if I ever do miss a reply of yours - do e-mail me, 'cause it could be for one of the above reasons!

Take care.


    Bookmark   February 17, 2007 at 3:10PM
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Have you ever almost walked away after writing a reply without having actually hit the submit button after the preview part? That could happen, too!

    Bookmark   February 17, 2007 at 3:14PM
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Apparently, some people think of these forums as the refernce section of the public library, they get their answer and leave, at least I hope they leave.

At the very least they could post a thanks; even with limited access or computer time they did find the time to post their questions.

    Bookmark   February 19, 2007 at 12:24PM
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I think some posters actually do forget they posted something; if they are not used to keeping track of their posts, I could see that happen...

    Bookmark   February 19, 2007 at 5:47PM
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I will apologize up front if I've ever been guilty of this...as I understand it is very rude. I am almost 65, and sometimes I forget what I had for lunch...LOL! I also can't find responses really quick, as I posted on kitchen forum that does move fast.
Right now, my DH is waiting for me to go look for flooring for the new house we are building. I do all the reading on appliances, ect. and all he does is pay for it. My brain is about to blow up. So please forgive any previous or future doings.

    Bookmark   February 22, 2007 at 11:16AM
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Quiltdog, I totally understand. I hope things worked out okay. Just remember this whole kitchen process is a lot like childbirth, stressful and full of pain but the end result is an overwhelming feeling of great joy at what you've created....until about 18 or 20 years later when you just want it out of your house:)

I've been guilty many, many times of forgetting threads I've either started or participated in, so tend to give huge benefit of the doubt to 'hit and run' posters. It does really bug me however when I've answered their query early, with either a link, pics, or some evidence that I've spent some time on their question and watch as the thread sits there without a single acknowledgement. Surely they haven't forgotten their thread an hour or so after posting?

    Bookmark   February 22, 2007 at 12:59PM
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As a 78 year old woman said a few weeks ago to a group of volunteers: "Do whatever you can for others without expecting anything in return."

    Bookmark   February 22, 2007 at 4:39PM
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This thread has had a much longer life than I expected!

None of you who've spoken out, and even apologized, seem to be at all thoughtless; I was referring to a "habit"--not occasional forgetfulness.

Mariposa, I agree that volunteers giving their time to the less fortunate should not expect to be thanked for every act of kindness.

On the other hand, when everyone's in pretty much the same situation (non-fatal kitchen obsession), I'd rather they apply the universal principle: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

And thus endeth today's sermon....... ;-)

    Bookmark   February 22, 2007 at 6:24PM
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I agree with Mari. The whole point of volunteering or helping others is to help out without the expectation of a thank you. Yes, common courtesy does dictate that a thank you or acknowledgement in some way is in order, but help should never be given in anticipation of a pay-out (or thank you).

    Bookmark   February 22, 2007 at 10:18PM
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I don't think anyone here has stated that they post to get thank yous. I also don't think anyone needs anyone to explain the 'point' of volunteering. Personally, I'm here to 'pay it back' after receiving much guidance during my own kitchen planning. Saying that, I have to say that gratitude is something that comes naturally to most people. If a poster forgets to say thank you, you can often see that person joining in the process in other threads. A direct thank you is not necessary. But when you see a poster who consistently rudely refuses to acknowleges responses(in effect cutting people dead)then they are changing the dynamics of the game. Volunteering isn't supposed to make you feel like a chump.

    Bookmark   February 23, 2007 at 1:06PM
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One way to avoid the apparent look of a "hit & run": include in the OP a gracious thanks to everyone in advance for their input, advice, and ideas. Just a thought.

    Bookmark   February 24, 2007 at 3:43AM
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mtnwomanbc, just wanted to let you know that I appreciate and respect the thoughts and advice you contribute to this board. You always seem so able to view things fairly & objectively and have a wonderful way with words.

As to whether posters should anticipate an acknowledgement or simple 'thanks' for their input, I think it's appropriate. I look upon those that post as participants, not volunteers. Like Ramses stated, it's a give & take community and wouldn't be the valuble resource it has come to be if everyone was takers - right? I think expecting altruism here undermines the religious and/or humanistic importance of it.

humacaena, I can relate. There are many days I'm grateful that my head is attached to my shoulders, because I'd leave it laying in the produce aisle, lol Just hang in there!

    Bookmark   February 24, 2007 at 10:30AM
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Be careful what you wish for.

This OP did acknowledge responses

Sometimes it may be better that they don't!!

    Bookmark   February 26, 2007 at 9:41AM
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I try to reply if just to say thanks. This forum and the electrical forum have been so helpful during my remodel since I acted as my own GC.

Once I found I'd actually posted a question/message somewhere else on the forums than I'd intended and never saw the replies, now I search by my user ID and look at all my posts and replies so I don't miss any. And since I am on the home stretch I've taken the pledge starting this week to find a few posts each day I have ideas on and offer what ideas I can.

    Bookmark   February 28, 2007 at 10:12AM
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I understand what you're saying and I think there are 2 possibilities.

1. The poster is just rude.
2. The poster is lost lol. I do know I'm probably in a minority when I say I've floated around these forums and I've posted in places where I didn't plan on posting. Later, when I tried to find a post on the kitchen forum, it wasn't on the list and I couldn't find it on page 1, 2 etc.

Once, I did a search for my name so I could check and follow-up and the search worked fine. I reponded to one thread. When I went to repond to the next thread, I must not have complete the search the same way, because no threads were listed under my name.

So, while there are some people who are rude (and Bill, I can't believe anyone would hang up after receiving advice! God! Now THAT is rude to the max!) some people may not have internet access or can't find the original post.

So, if I did this to anyone...mea culpa!!

    Bookmark   March 12, 2007 at 11:14PM
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fairegold -

This is my first post to the conversation area and you mention clicking a box so follow up messages can be sent to you. Can you please tell me how I can find this box please. Right now, I just save my posts to my favorite clippings and check those for replies.

minikit - thank for for starting this thread, I will now always respond to posts, I guess sometimes I felt like it was making the thread longer and longer and yet didn't acutally add anything to the original post. Shame on me, a simple thank you shouldn't be taken for granted.


    Bookmark   March 13, 2007 at 4:44AM
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When you are the original poster, there is a box that you click before you send in your original message, and that should send all responses to your mail as well as on the forum. This does not work for replies.

    Bookmark   March 13, 2007 at 9:49AM
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Geez! I posted an invite for newcomers to our conversations side and managed not to check in for 2 days after - just running pell mell from contractors to work to evening meetings. Happily, others took up the slack. So say hello to some newer names floating around here - I will try to be more careful. Where does the time go???

    Bookmark   March 15, 2007 at 1:18AM
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fairegold -

Oh I understand...because my posts were replies.



    Bookmark   March 15, 2007 at 1:26AM
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As a relatively new poster here, I would like to add one more possibility. Sometimes I'm a little reluctant to add a "thanks" post, especially if there are few responses, because I worry that people will think I'm just trying to bump my post back up to the top.

That being said, I usually have something else to say and post anyhow. ;-) But I would imagine there are others who have the same reluctance.

    Bookmark   March 15, 2007 at 6:29AM
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First and foremost GW seems to have become a way of life for me lately. There is so much great info and support that I fear I'm neglecting other parts of my life in favor of it. It's my new favorite place to be! My DH definitely thinks somethings wrong with me or that I must have an internet boyfriend, lol.

I have only just recently started posting after being a long-time lurker. While I have tried to answer a few questions that I have already tackled, it is a transition to offer advise when not too long ago I wasn't such an "expert". Beyond that, the forum is truly so well endowded with REAL experts and long-timers who really know what they're talking about. I oftentimes feel like many can offer better advise than me, so why post. I must admit though, it felt great when I could really offer some info or source to someone after I've learned so much here from all of you.

When I have posted a question, I always bookmark and come back to check on the responses, seems the easiest way to find them again. I have offered a heartfelt thank-you to all responders but after a couple of those, like windlassie said, I always worry that it will be perceieved that I'm not yet satisfied with the info offered and just bumping up my own thread. It reminds me of being a kid in school and raising your hand one too many times :) I know you are all talking more about the hit-and-runs, which fall into a whole differnt catagory. If you figure out how to find the site, become a member and learn how and where to post, bookmarking and a simple thank-you certainly don't seem too much to ask. The two experiences you had Bill V. blow me away. I think the annonymity of the internet unfortunately allows rude people to be just more of the same. I guess that's the downfall. But the benefits are tremendous and I for one am so happy to have found GW. Thanks to all of you...(just in case I lost one of my threads :)

    Bookmark   March 16, 2007 at 5:39PM
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