Would you pull this anniversary joke on your husband?

awm03January 1, 2006

Tuesday is our 25th wedding anniversary. For two weeks now, my DH has been teasing me about how I shouldn't bother getting him a present because it couldn't possibly compare with what he got me. "I'm so good to you" and "I must really love you to get you a present like that", etc., etc. Well, I know what he got me because it was on the Amex bill two months ago: we're going to Rome in April :)

So when we go out to dinner on Tuesday & he hands me my "present" (presumably in an envelope), should I say "Gosh, I sure hope it's a trip to Rome!" ? He would probably enjoy getting zinged, actually. But on the other hand, I don't want to deny him the pleasure he'd get if I were "surprised".

Taking a vote...

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Aw, let him have his fun! Maybe say afterwards that you were really hoping ofr a trip to Disneyland.... he'll get that joke then.

Sounds wonderful to me!

    Bookmark   January 1, 2006 at 3:10PM
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It's a little too late, but it would have been very funny to get him a couple tickets for a tour of some attraction in Rome - the colliseum, Vatican, etc. Then you could have expressed surprise at his gift, then handed him yours to open!

    Bookmark   January 1, 2006 at 3:10PM
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While I don't think you need to fake a surprised reaction, I do think you owe your precious husband a lot of gratitude and praise for the Rome trip, which I'm certain that you are feeling. Joking about the trip might send a confusing, even negative, message which I'm certain that you don't want to do. Your husband will remember the first words out of your mouth and the look on your face as you open that envelope for the rest of your marriage. That moment will be your chance to show him that you believe that you married the greatest, most generous man in the world. Your are so very fortunate to have a husband like that. I know that you will have a wonderful evening together.

    Bookmark   January 1, 2006 at 3:12PM
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Don't do it. My husband is uncanny at figuring out what is in packages, and says what it is before he opens it. (And I KNOW he doesn't peek, because they are very well hidden, sometimes at my dad's house.)

Anyway, it really aggravates me, and is actually hurtful in some way.

As you mentioned, it denies the giver the pleasure of giving a wonderful surprise, and this gift from your husband is very special.

    Bookmark   January 1, 2006 at 3:20PM
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Well, you have to know my husband: when we were getting married, I sent him an invitation to the wedding with the note "Hope to see you there." He likes that kind of stuff. I do too, actually. He roars when he remembers how our oldest son, at age 9, lovingly wrapped a lump of coal as his Christmas gift. If I made the joke, at worst he'd be only a little disappointed. He might laugh his a** off too.

Chiefneil, you are on to something good! I could make some fake tickets via desk top publishing! Ooohh the possibilities!

    Bookmark   January 1, 2006 at 3:26PM
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Doesn't DH know you open or see the monthly credit card bills?

Get him some phony tickets(front row center court,etc) to a Sporting event for the same day you leave! Give him your gift First!

    Bookmark   January 1, 2006 at 4:57PM
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I wouldn't do it. We are enormous practical jokesters at our house but there are times it's better to pass on the joke.

Do you love the idea of the trip to Rome? Would you love for him to do something wonderful like this for you again? Will he get great pleasure from 'surprising' you?

It would take very little effort to go along with the surprise, and to do otherwise would deflate his efforts and joy in his surprise.

    Bookmark   January 1, 2006 at 4:59PM
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We're coming up on our 25th this year, too. If you want to zing him good, have a friend leave a professional-sounding message on the voice-mail asking that you return the call to your OB-GYN's office ASAP regarding your pregnancy test...

    Bookmark   January 1, 2006 at 5:05PM
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If you're sure he wouldn't mind getting "zinged", have an envelope ready yourself with a piece of paper inside saying "We're going to Rome!" on it, and tell him that you got him something too, and that you should both open them at the same time. :-)

    Bookmark   January 1, 2006 at 5:25PM
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If you always see the AmEx bill, did he not think you would find out?

I'm not sure I would zing him unless you know he can take it. I think my DH would be hurt but I hate surprises so he knows better!

    Bookmark   January 1, 2006 at 5:33PM
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Awm - congratulations!!

I vote to act surprised....OR wear a toga under your coat. No, really act surprised! Anyone remember the Brady special when she got him a trip and he...oh never mind.

Definately do the ob-gyn thing! That is hilarious.

You and your hubby sound like alot of fun!

    Bookmark   January 1, 2006 at 5:33PM
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I would let him have his surprise party. You are a very blessed woman.

    Bookmark   January 1, 2006 at 6:27PM
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He tried to make arrangements to have the particulars separated from the regular bill...but they were mailed to our home address, and I do the bill paying, so that's how I found out.

I'm thinking of finding that famous picture from La Dolce Vita of Anita Ekberg cavorting in the fountain. I can make a card with the picture on it promising him a very romantic evening in Rome. If I lose some weight, buy a beautiful dress, nylons, & heels, he'll like that better than anything I could buy him.

    Bookmark   January 1, 2006 at 6:36PM
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Wow, what a husband! How romantic! Sounds like he tried to keep it a surprise. Indulge him...act with love, you won't regret it. Humor on this very special occasion just might end up being not so funny. Besides, love is sexy, very sexy.

    Bookmark   January 1, 2006 at 10:51PM
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Congratulations on 25 years!

My wife and I just celebrated 16.

Get on the Internet and find yourself a tour company in Rome. Print out their brochure.

Get as much "touristy" info as you can together for his envelope. (Start planning some fun stuff to do on your trip.)

Get on the Internet and see if you can find the menu for a very romantic restaurant in Rome.

Print out a couple of copies of the menu and put them in the envelope.

Give him your gift first.

Of course if your envelope doesn't contain tickets to Rome, then there's gonna be some 'splainin to do......

    Bookmark   January 2, 2006 at 7:04PM
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I say don't call him on it. Open the card give him a big smile and tell him,"Honey it is what I've always wanted." or something to that effect. If he tried to split it off the regular bill he really wanted to surprise you. Go along with it, you won't regret it. I too am one of those who usually figures out what my gift or surprise is, and I don't peek or snoop! I hate it when I find out, but I always let him think I'm surprised...because I was surprised, just earlier than he anticipated.

    Bookmark   January 2, 2006 at 9:01PM
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He's still patting himself on the back about surprising me tomorrow, LOL! Perhaps I didn't convey very well how much he's been needling me about this. The undertones are "You're going to be sooo impressed with how clever I am." He does this in a humorous way, and we are having a good laugh over this much-vaunted surprise.

I've decided to do it. When I get "surprised" I'll show genuine excitement, gratitude, and anticipation for the trip. Later on in the dinner (dessert time?) I'll say "I have a little surprise for you too," then slip him the La Dolce Vita card I'll make. Honestly, I think he'll enjoy being outwitted (doesn't happen often, he could do with a surprise himself), and he'll like my gift of pulling out all the stops to make the trip a memorable, romantic affair (he's worth it). A little candle light, a little wine, the promise of a romantic adventure -- I think he'll like the counter-surprise just fine.

If the trick falls flat, believe me, it won't hurt our relationship one bit. We'll still be happy about our 25 years together, we'll still adore each other, and I'll still be going to Rome with my favorite person in the whole world.

    Bookmark   January 2, 2006 at 11:21PM
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That sounds wonderful, Awm03! We can't wait to here the details of this evening's celebration. Your card will be the perfect reply to your husband's gift: that is, the promise of even more romance and excitement in Rome. And congratulations on your 25th anniversary. That is an incredible accomplishment in itself. Three cheers for Mr. and Mrs. Awm03 from the Kitchen Forum!

    Bookmark   January 3, 2006 at 7:55AM
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Happy Anniversary AWM!

May this evening hold the surprise you're hoping for, and may the rest of your years together be as wonderful as the first 25.

Please give us an update tomorrow --

    Bookmark   January 3, 2006 at 10:44AM
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Okay, made the "trump" card. It has the above picture on the front. Here's what the card says:

Darling, our twenty-five years together have truly been La Dolce Vita. I promise you a romantic evening in Rome. With nylons...

All my love,

    Bookmark   January 3, 2006 at 10:52AM
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It just dawned on me that for the next three months he'll be making teasing references about his hot weekend in Rome...with Anita Ekberg! What a gift for a 50 year old man!

    Bookmark   January 3, 2006 at 11:11AM
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Happy Anniversary! I hope you both have a wonderful trip. What a thoughtful and romantic present on both your parts! I hope that DH and I are in that position in another 18 years :-)

    Bookmark   January 3, 2006 at 11:57AM
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Happy anniversary!

Card sounds great. But give it to him AFTER he surprises you.

Always answer romance with romance!

And don't forget to update us. I once thought I knew about a surprise and was wrong, wrong, wrong. Sometimes they surprise us, even after many years and a fresh AmEx bill.

    Bookmark   January 3, 2006 at 1:33PM
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It was a beautiful evening. It had snowed all day. We'd planned to go
to an Italian restaurant in a nearby town. The roads were too slippery,
so we pulled into a historic inn & French restaurant just a mile away.
Because of the bad roads, we were the only customers. We ordered
champagne. After a couple of glasses, DH gave me a small wrapped gift:
Berlitz Italian tapes. "You're going to need them," he said with a
smile and handed me another gift -- a book about bicycling in Tuscany.
Then he produced a portfolio he'd put together and explained how we're
flying to Rome for a weekend, then going to Florence to begin a biking
tour of Tuscany, then returning to Rome: a 9 day trip. At that point I
was too blubbery & stunned to have any kind of counter. Oh my husband,
my wonderful husband. He completely blew me away.
He was right: I couldn't top his present. He thoroughly enjoyed having
the upper hand.

So I didn't play the joke on DH.

He was so sweet and romantic, I didn't have grounds anymore to tease
him, unlike when he was acting so cocky. And when he revealed the
gift, it was apparent that he'd put in a tremendous amount of work
arranging this trip. His portfolio was full of receipts, web pages, &
details which took 15 minutes to explain to me. It wasn't just a matter
of calling up a travel agent & booking a travel package. He said I'd
been a wonderful wife, and worth all the work -- oops, here come the
tears again.

Finally, there were a lot of people in on the surprise, so I couldn't
pop his bubble without disappointing a host of others: a co-worker in
his company's Italy office worked the phones and got us reservations in
Tuscany; DH had arranged with my boss back in September for time off
(my co-workers knew); a neighbor offered to watch the house; my three
sons knew (and didn't breathe a word!). DH said the girl at AmEx (he's
cashing in years of unused bonus points & frequent flyer miles) "wasn't
real on the ball, but she was so sweet and really excited to be in on
this surprise." That explains why a receipt came to our home address.

So my La Dolce Vita card stayed in my purse. The sentiment still holds,
though, and tonight I'll slip it in his briefcase. Our 25 years
together have been the sweet life. I hope I have at least another 25
more with this wonderful man.

Thanks to everybody for your good wishes, hilarious suggestions, and
advice. You've helped to make this a memorable anniversary too. May
you all have happy -- and romantic -- anniversaries with your loved
ones as well.

    Bookmark   January 4, 2006 at 5:08PM
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What a wonderful story! I'm so glad is was everything you expected and more. (I'm teary-eyed too, just reading about it.)

Isn't it extra wonderful when our DH's go the extra mile to plan everything out? There's so much work involved in planning a trip, and for him to have done that so far in advance...

You've got yourself a keeper there ;-)

    Bookmark   January 4, 2006 at 5:14PM
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It sounds like it worked out perfectly. I think you did the right thing by keeping your secret. What a great guy you're married to. Happy Anniversary:)

    Bookmark   January 4, 2006 at 5:59PM
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Awesome! Pack an extra bag for all the shopping you'll be doing in Florence! And if you like chestnuts, the Marrons Glace you can get in Italy are outstanding. And the coffee, the food... oh, don't even get me started on Italy!

    Bookmark   January 4, 2006 at 6:15PM
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That is beautiful! Shall we all print this out and give our husbands this thread for as an anniversary gift wish list? I'm so happy for you, awm03!

    Bookmark   January 4, 2006 at 6:48PM
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I took my wife to Burger King last year!! Does that count? I even gave her a card!! :-)

    Bookmark   January 4, 2006 at 7:03PM
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I would be tempted to make up a little envelope full of brochures on Italy, with a little note saying, "Surprise! I booked us a trip for May!". As soon as a look of shock/dread crosses his face tell him the truth.

I'm a brat. I wouldn't be able to resist.

    Bookmark   January 4, 2006 at 7:13PM
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Ah, enjoy the gelato for us. Especially the hazelnut!

What a sweetheart he must be. I'm glad you enjoyed the surprise!

    Bookmark   January 4, 2006 at 7:35PM
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Awwwww....wiping a tear from my eye. Who says the honeymoon only lasts a year?

    Bookmark   January 4, 2006 at 8:45PM
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How sweet!

    Bookmark   January 4, 2006 at 9:21PM
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Happy anniversary! I just loved reading this thread. The two of you deserve each other!

    Bookmark   January 4, 2006 at 9:26PM
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Oooohh, just like in the movies...and they lived happily ever after! Pass the kleenex!

    Bookmark   January 4, 2006 at 10:50PM
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A lovely moment!

Thank you for the peek in, oh to live a night in your own romantic movie! Like kait I was thinking, my! this woman's life is as sweet as an old fashioned romance.

What a night! And so many more ahead!

    Bookmark   January 4, 2006 at 11:47PM
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