our wedding anniversary

summerblueDecember 29, 2012

Today we would have been married 34 years. He died 2 years ago, just before our 32 anniversary. I can't believe he is gone. I miss him and the life we had together. I don't think I will ever be the same.

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blakefinley

Summerblue,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. I can't even imagine the pain of losing your mate after 34 years together. I'm 17 and I lost my Grandpa several years ago, your post reminded me of something that greatly helped me in my life and I felt compelled to share it with you.

I've always looked to the Bible for comfort, one of my favorite accounts in the entire book is in John chapter 11 when he resurrected Lazarus. In verse 11 of that chapter Jesus said that his friend Lazarus was only sleeping even though he had died. I find it comforting knowing that ones like your husband and my Grandpa are in a sleep-like state and we don't have to worry about them suffering anywhere. When Jesus heard about his friend's death he was still a few days away, by the time he got there, Lazarus had been dead for 4 days. Many friends were already there to comfort his sisters.

In verse 24, Martha, one of his sisters, said that she knew her brother would rise from the dead in a coming resurrection. Jesus responded by affirming this and saying that all who were faithful, even if they were to die, would come back to life. Later in verse 33 we're told that Jesus felt troubled and groaned because of his friends weeping over Lazarus' death. And in verse 35 Jesus gave way to tears. It's so nice to know that he feels the pain of those grieving. He knows your pain now also and it affects him just as much as it did back when he was here on earth.

After praying, Jesus tells Lazarus to come on out and he does! Alive and well! Meditating on the fact that Jesus not only has the God given power to raise our loved ones from the dead, but also has a strong desire to do so because he shares in our pain has always been a source of comfort for me.

So many other verses in the Bible support this. Another verse I've always kept in mind is at John chapter 5 and verses 28 and 29, shortly after another resurrection Jesus performed, there it says in part: Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice and come out, those who did good things to a resurrection of life.

That includes your dear husband. Very soon he is going to hear Jesus' voice and wake up! And just like with Lazarus, you will be reunited with him right here on earth.

One last thought that I've always appreciated is in Revelation chapter 21 and verse 4, there God makes a promise to us. It reads: And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.

In the near future, not only will your husband come back to life, but death will be done away with forever! I look forward to this time more than anything.

Sometimes talking about who you've lost and what you remember about them can help tremendously. Just sharing favorite memories and stories of the times you had together. If you're looking for someone to talk to, please give me a call, my number is (941) 882-0284. Or you can email me at blakefinley94@gmail.com.

I hope the verses that helped me prove to be comforting to you too, please stop back and let me know how you're doing :)

Blake

    Bookmark   December 31, 2012 at 2:51PM
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JoAnn_Fla

so sorry for your loss summerblue, all occasions are hard. I lost mine 16 months ago and it's not a bit easier now.
I still can't believe he's gone but then it also feels like he was never here at times, it seems so long ago. It's so strange. I hate every bit of it!!!
I miss my DH all the time, I constantly think of him. I still cry everyday, and wish it would get better faster.
Most the time I think "what's the use" nothing is left for me here, its so lonely now. Its so hard. I know & feel your pain too. You are not alone.
Hugs ((((((((( summerblue)))))))))))))

    Bookmark   December 31, 2012 at 6:49PM
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summerblue

Blake, Thank you so much for your kind post. I really appreciate the time and thought you have given to me. I am sorry for the loss of your Grandpa, I hope he is always with you in your thoughts and actions. I do believe I will see my husband one day, it is just "now" that I miss him the most. I have my good days and bad, but I am ok, mostly. Thank you for your kindness, It helps to know that others care. summerblue

    Bookmark   January 2, 2013 at 2:42AM
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summerblue

joann_fla, I know the feeling that he almost wasn't here. It sucks, and it's so hard to wrap my head around his not being here. I am not in denial, but it is such a surreal feeling, I miss him, I cry all the time too. It is just the way it is. How could we not miss the one we shared our lives with. It is lonely, it hurts, and I know just what your going through. summerblue

    Bookmark   January 2, 2013 at 3:04AM
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mav63_2007

I lost my DH of 37 years, 6 years ago. It does get a little easier but I too have had the same feeling of "was he really ever here", almost like I dreamed him. You will stop crying every day but you will never stop missing him and waiting (patiently) for the day you will be together again. I have six reasons to continue to live, 2 daughters and 4 grandchildren, and I am not in a hurry to leave them but lonlieness for him is a deep hurt. Don't give up. Every night in bed I tell him about my day before I fall asleep.

    Bookmark   January 15, 2013 at 12:17PM
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summerblue

Thank you mav63_2007, It helps hearing from others who understand. I have some good days, but then it just hits me that he is really gone! How can that be? We were together for so long and it feels like a nightmare sometimes when I really think about it.
It is very lonely, I have a teenager in the house, but I miss my husband so much.
Thank you for your encouragement not to give up. I am trying to be positive and see the good that is around me, but it is hard.
I talk to him at night too. Please take care.

    Bookmark   January 19, 2013 at 8:24PM
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blakefinley

Summerblue,

I understand what you mean, about it being hard because you miss him now even though you know one day you will see him again. Glad to hear you're feeling okay for the most part. Of course, you're never alone :) After I left the first message for you I was thinking about you and there was a brochure a friend gave me a while ago that has helped me a lot, it's called "When someone you love dies". It talks about many practical ways to cope with grief and offers much encouragement. I would love to send you a copy of it. If you would like, you can send me your address in an email, I really feel like it would help you too :)

Blake

    Bookmark   January 20, 2013 at 9:10PM
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summerblue

Blake, no need for you to send me that brochure, but thanks for your offer. I have found good advice on line and from friends and family. I have found taking every day as it comes helps. One day at a time.

    Bookmark   January 31, 2013 at 8:53AM
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blakefinley

Summerblue,

No problem, just thought I would make the offer in case it would help. Having hope can make all the difference in the world. The offer's always there if you change your mind :) That's so true, always stick close to your friends and family, when you isolate yourself it only makes things harder. Take care :)

Blake

    Bookmark   January 31, 2013 at 3:32PM
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Sad-33

I also have that feeling that my mom was never here, or that is was a long time ago and dream-like. But it was only a couple of months ago. I wonder why do we feel this way. I wonder if we are still in shock?

    Bookmark   March 11, 2013 at 1:01PM
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