Grieving for my husband

djdarDecember 20, 2007

Hello im am new to this i just lost my husband Dec.4 He had lymphoma cancer . I had so much hope, and when the doctors told us there was nothing more they can do i still had hope , but he died two weeks later he went so quick i still cant believe it . Im am glad he didnt suffer much. we would have been married 29 years Jan.6 .I guess i know what you guys mean when you say your lost. It is hard to explain the hurt to people the pain if you have not been through it.

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I am feeling so sad for you.You were together a long time. You are probably in a state of shock.
I guess the consolation for you is that he did not suffer. So many patients suffer for prolonged periods of time, that it can be a blessing when they are gone.
I cannot imagine the sorrow you are feeling, and I will keep you in my thoughts.
I hope you have some family and friends who are close and can understand what hard times these are.You can always come to this forrum for understanding. There are so many here who can totally empathize with you.

    Bookmark   December 21, 2007 at 1:39AM
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I am so sorry for your loss! I had lost my father in July from leukemia. I think I can relate to some of what you are feeling. Watching my Dad go through all those treatments with such bravery. Three times the leukemia came back after only a short remission but he was always ready to take another chemo regiman. He even pulled himself out of the ICU on 3 different occasions. I never once thought that my Dad would not beat this. I was so sure that we would get our miracle. I was with him when the doctor told him the leukemia was back and that there wasn't anything left to try. I am haunted by my Dad asking , "How much time do you think I have left?" The doctor calmly replied, "days." This was on Wednesday the following Tuesday morning my father took his last breath.

I have difficult moments because I miss him so much. I say that I have my sorrow, my two teenage son's sorrow and my Dad's sorrow because he was so vibrant and just 64 years young when he passed. But I do have to agree with what was posted. My Dad did not suffer a long and painful passing. He was able to die in his own house with his family around him, with our hands, someone's hands on him at all times. When I feel as though the wave of sorrow will suffocate me I hold onto this. He wanted to be at home and he was granted that. Keep finding the small things to be thankful for...I know it is hard but it makes the pain easier to bear. Keep talking about it.

Take care,


    Bookmark   December 26, 2007 at 6:44PM
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you find some support here, as I have.

    Bookmark   December 26, 2007 at 7:07PM
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I'm so sorry. Just keep coming back here and there is always someone who has similar feelings. It helps to know you are not alone.

    Bookmark   December 30, 2007 at 11:13PM
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Hello thanks foryour post , it nice to know some knows how i fell. and i sorry for your loss.The last few day have been really bad . i seem to have good days and bad kids are grown and out on their own, and it was just me and my husband and it is the nights that get to me.

    Bookmark   January 1, 2008 at 4:03PM
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Im sorry for your loss also I know what you are feeling. I lost my husband on Dec.1st it has been a month today. We haven't been apart that long since we were married 36 years ago. I feel like half of me is gone. Morning noon and night are the worst. I went back to work on Dec. 26th and I literaly had to fight with myself to get there. I was glad that I did because not everyone was at work because of holidays so it was a tad easier. It was good to be with people. My kids are grown with young children of their own and they have been with me as much as possible. We have horses and dogs that my husband always cared for so it has been very trying to keep up with feeding them. My son has been over every night to help me with the chores and that is nice. It's just when he leaves I get all blue and cry again. The weather is also a concern and bless God it hasn't been too bad. My husband had a massive heart attack and thank God he didn't suffer but boy have I. I can't believe he is gone and it is hard to believe that he has been gone a month. This note is probably not very uplifting but I think it helps to let people know about your loss because others know what you are going through. My problem is that I was the listener and my husband was the talker and it is hard for me to open up to people about this. Thankfully my husband's friends have been so helpful with giving me hay for the horses which is short supply because of the hot summer. So I know that providing me hay is a sacrifice for some of them. We also burn wood for heat and so many neighbors have come through with wood for me. I feel lucky that my husband had so many friends that cared for him and that it is carrying over to me. I will be praying for others that are in this terrible grief hoping that all of us can get through this coming New Year the best way we can.

God bless you


    Bookmark   January 1, 2008 at 8:05PM
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My husband died December 7th 2008 of heart failure. We had only been together for 4 years. He was only 43 years old and it just seems so unfair that we found each other only to lose him so soon. He had been very healthy or so we thought until Aug 15 2008 when he became ill. He was in the hospital for a couple of weeks and did so wonderfully they thought he would do fine. On Sunday morning Dec 7th he was talking to me then within minutes was gone. I have children from my first marriage but they are grown and don't live close. They do the best they can but I feel so alone and angry that he was taken from me. We had so many plans now I just don't know what to do with myself. I miss him so very much it's like I am lost. We spent all of our time together. Now I just can't seem to fuction. My grief is so great it seems to encompass me at times.

    Bookmark   December 21, 2008 at 3:27PM
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On November 11,2008 I lost my husband. He was killed on the job & our 13 year old son was with him. We have a 16 year old daughter also. We had just had our 16th anniversary on November 4. He was only 38 years old & we had just built a new home & was only in it 6 months. I miss him sooo much. I have the two children but I still feel so lost. Some days I dont feel like I can make it but with the Lord carrying me I know I will get stronger!

    Bookmark   January 5, 2009 at 8:13PM
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I lost my husband on November 6th, 2008. He went in the hospital on November 4th and was gone in 2 days. It was not expected and I am still having a very hard time dealing with it and will for a very long time to come. We would have celebrated 32 years of marriage on December 18th. I have a grown son who is married with 3 children. They were renting and moved in my house with me (otherwise I would had to sell) which I am not ready to do yet. The grandchildren help me keep going somewhat, but it's not the same as having my husband there.

Sheryl - NJ

    Bookmark   January 15, 2009 at 11:42AM
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I am also new to this, my wife of 41 years died of hodgkins lymphoma in Sept 2008. We also had hope that she would recover but after 5 weeks in icu she passed away. even on days when I am busy all day cooking cleaning and doing whatever I have to it still overcomes me at times during the day and the evenings are especially bad. I don't know how long this will continue and I feel so sorry for you as you are just starting down this road alone. I miss sharing the little things with her and just having her here with me. It is such a terrible empty feeling and knowing that she cannot come back makes it very bad. Please go to a support group if you can, I do twice a month. It doesn't make it better but the people there all feel just as you do. No one who has not experienced this can know what it is like. keep writing to this forum also, I know it is hard to do but it will help.

    Bookmark   January 16, 2009 at 11:26PM
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I'm so sorry about the loss of your husband. I've been down this path, as I lost my husband in 2005 after 40 yrs. of marriage. It takes a long time to work through grief, but from experience I can tell you it does eventually get better. Another web site I found very helpful is which has a forum where you can post and others will reply. It was somehow comforting knowing others were feeling the deep grief you are experiencing. Here is a link to the site.

    Bookmark   January 18, 2009 at 5:45PM
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I just lost my husband of 20 years he was 44 years old, he died on feb 19 2011 two days before his birthday, im still grieving, im still in a fog, i really dont know what todo we have a 8 year old daughter, im living with my motherin law she is speical to me im so missing him so much.

    Bookmark   April 5, 2011 at 10:22PM
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hi my name is mary and i lost nu husband in january to cancer we were together 25 years he was only 49 my heart is broken

    Bookmark   May 31, 2011 at 5:35PM
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Dear Ellie and Mary,
I am so sorry for your loss. My husband of 37 years passed away Nov. 2006, my heart is broken and he took a few pieces with him. Grieving is very painful but we can't avoid it under these circumstances, it will become less painful as times goes on but it will always be there. Love the people who are important to you but most of all love yourself and take care to make yourself go on living. We will be with our precious husbands again one day and that is what I prepare for. May God Bless you both.

    Bookmark   June 1, 2011 at 11:20AM
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