My Aaron died suddenly

PaperDollDecember 1, 2004

My stomach hurts and my heart aches as I post here. I hope this is a good place for me to share about my son. He was only 30 years old and died suddenly the evening before Thanksgiving. We spent Thanksgiving Day planning his funeral. He was a wonderful person!

Carol

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Silverdove

My heart goes out to you. My mother died last Tuesday, and for us, too, Thanksgiving was a sad occasion.

    Bookmark   December 1, 2004 at 9:32PM
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dcrowex

Paperdoll and Silverdove....I am so sorry for the sudden loss of your loved ones. How terribly sad and tragic this is. Please come back here to tell us about them and share your feelings. We lost my 22 year old niece a couple years ago, just days before Christmas. It is devastating. My heart and thoughts and special prayers for strength go to you both.

Please share what you are going through in this forum. You are with caring friends here.

deb

    Bookmark   December 1, 2004 at 9:43PM
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Nell Jean

Oh, Paperdoll, how terrible for you. Those of us who lost adult children in sudden deaths can relate to the physical symptoms of grief as well as the emotional. I remember sitting down to eat and sometimes there was a lump and I just couldn't swallow. The physical pain lets up. The pain of the psyche takes longer.

Share with us, if you will, about your son. Not the details of his passing but about the little boy you loved so, the teenager, the young adult. We'd like to hear about him. Keep us posted about how you're feeling, too.

Nell

    Bookmark   December 1, 2004 at 11:20PM
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lulie___wayne

Carol, I am so sorry for the loss of Aaron. How tragic!
I have lost my 19 year old daughter and I have a son who is 27, so I certainly can relate to your loss.
Is there anything in particular that we can help you sort out as far as your feelings go? We can help you.
Lu

    Bookmark   December 1, 2004 at 11:25PM
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PaperDoll

Thank you for your kind responses. I am really doing quite well...crying and laughing and being "ok" at times. Our family has much faith in God and know that he is carrying us through this valley. Aaron was an adorable little boy, a wonderful young man and he packed so much into his 30 years. Our family is very close and losing him leaves a big hole in our lives. I don't know anything in particular I need...just to be able to talk about what is going on from day to day. My youngest son, Nathan, wrote a tribute to him that I would like to share.

Aarons Memory

This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it. It is a day for joy and remembrance, as well as sadness and laughter. We gather to celebrate the life of our friend, our brother, a son, a son-in-law, a mentor, a loving husband, a business associateÂ.Aaron.

I held the belief that Aaron was invincible. He was strong and happy. We often dreamed of growing old together, seeing our great ambitions come to life. We dreamed of the days when we would be retired, and could hang out together. We could build things, and play together much like when we were growing up.

Our families were blessed to have Aaron for 30 wonderful years. He gave us years full of love and laughter. He built & repaired many homes, each standing as a testament of his dedication and passion for his work. Aaron demanded quality in his work, and strived towards perfection in every aspect of his business. He was a craftsman more than he was a contractor. Paying attention to even the smallest details. No easy way. No shortcuts.

Aaron left us happy and in love. In the days preceding his death, he spent time with his brothers and Dad. He and Tina visited with my Mom and Dad. In his last evening on earth, he held Tina in his arms knowing only her love for him. Aaron left us with those memories on his mind and in his heart. We must remember him with our love and happiness. We must support each other and support Tina in the coming weeks, months, and years.

Aaron departed on top of his game. He was excited about who he was, what he had accomplished, and where his dreams would take him. Many people dream of doing what they love and building their own company. Aaron made that his reality each and every day. He realized that failure was only an event, not a lifestyle. Aaron was willing to do whatever it took to make sure that these dreams, no matter how ambitious, would come true. While it may appear that Aaron was a self made man, that does not paint the entire picture of his life. Each of us here today has been touched by Aaron in so many ways, but you touched him as well. You were willing to contribute your knowledge, love, experiences, and optimism with Aaron. Many of you provided inspiration to him as well, as he wanted to be just like each of us. Tina also helped his dreams come true; a loving and devoted wife was the most important ingredient in his success. I thank everyone for making Aarons 30 years with us the best they possibly could be.

You often here that life is measured my moments and not by time. For our family we have realized that this was absolutely true for Aaron. While we can be sad about what wouldÂve or couldÂve been, we can also rejoice in the gift that God gave us to enjoy. Aaron accomplished more in his lifetime that people that live to be 100 years old could ever accomplish. Aaron, I am so proud to say that you were my brother!

We will find additional strength in the coming days. When we walk, we may have a fresh energy in our feet. When we think and calculate we will have a clearer focus. When we work, perfection we will find. When I woke up Thursday morning my hands did not feel the same. They felt stronger and more stable than the previous morning. A piece of wood feels differently in my hands. My mind feels more confident that my hands can produce what I envision. This is the gifts and talents of Aaron, already passed from him to me.
We will be reminded of Aaron in many ways:
The smell of a freshly cut piece of pine, sweet and refreshing.
The sound of snow gliding beneath our freshly sharpened skis.
The smoothness of the handle of a well-used hammer.
The sight of black earth being excavated for new construction.

Rest assured that Aaron is among us. Because he is physically gone, it does not mean that he wonÂt continue to support us, inspire us, or love us. This may even be a chance for him to provide more for each of us.

I miss my brother. He was my best friend, my mentor, and my motivation in life. I was always afraid to disappoint him; I just wanted him to be able to say that he was proud of his little brother. In the rental car business IÂm always driving a different vehicle, when I was around town, IÂd see Aaron truck and trailer, and give him a little wave. I doubt that he ever saw me, but I was always proud and excited to see him. For the rest of my life, IÂll be giving him a little wave from my heart. I will also miss our weekly lunch together, we made it a priority, not realizing how important our time together would become. I miss our discussions of our latest projects, giving advice to each other, laughing at the crazy ideas of the other. I miss his constant push for me to be this best I could be. I miss his smile, his laugh, and his warmth. I miss dreaming with him, but most of all I miss Aaron.

On Wednesday when Aaron arrived before God, the creator of our universe, God smiled upon Aaron and said "Well done Aaron, thou good and faithful servant." Let us rejoice and be glad in the gift of Aaron James Lippe in our lives.

***Thank you for allowing me to share this with you. The pastor read it at the service to Celebrate Aaron's Life ***
Carol

    Bookmark   December 2, 2004 at 7:18AM
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Nell Jean

At this point, you're 'okay' and you also feel you'll never be 'okay' again. Talking, writing does help. It's a lovely tribute.

Nell

    Bookmark   December 2, 2004 at 9:09AM
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lulie___wayne

Carol, thank you for sharing this beautiful tribute with us. Now we know Aaron a little better. Thank you.
Lu

    Bookmark   December 2, 2004 at 10:23AM
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Joels_Sister

Carol,

Your Aaron sounds so similar to my brother Joel. Joel also had his own business (finishing carpentry) and we were very close. He was the smartest, most respectful, most ambitious man I knew. Nathan's tribute to Aaron made me cry because I can relate - I know how Nathan is feeling. . . And it really put into words some emotions that I could not.

Thanks for sharing.

    Bookmark   December 2, 2004 at 11:08AM
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PaperDoll

Thank you for your kind comments. Joel's sister, I am glad it was helpful to you. I am feeling the grief so much I didn't think I would be able to be of help to anyone else.
They do sound so similar.
Carol

    Bookmark   December 2, 2004 at 11:13AM
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DarrylsMom

Hi Carol I read your post and can relate to your grief. my beautiful son Darryl died Sept. 27 at 34 in his sleep. He was a great patient person. He left us 2 beautiful grandsons.The holidays are coming near and it will be a sad time for us all. My grief is still great but i take it 1 minute at a time. Now i am starting to think of all the good things we had and try to keep in close touch with his boys. I come here often and read the posts which is a big help. Thanks to everyone. I do belive in God and am trying to get back to prayer but it's still difficult. I have lost a niece at 21 and my Mom but this is very hard. So I hope we can help each other. Darlene

    Bookmark   December 6, 2004 at 6:05PM
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PaperDoll

Darlene,I am so sorry your beautiful son died. I think the best thing we have been able to do to help us in our grief is to thank God every day for the 30 wonderful years he gave us with Aaron. He has given us peace in the middle of our grieving. I also thank God that because of HIS son, my son lives. Try to celebrate Darryl's life as much as you can. Our pastor called the funeral a Celebration of Aaron's life. It is a perspective that I thought was only for old people who died but found it very comforting.
Carol

    Bookmark   December 6, 2004 at 9:41PM
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Nell Jean

Darlene and Carol, both of you are facing Christmas without your sons.
Just wanted you to know that someone remembers.

Nell

    Bookmark   December 20, 2004 at 10:04PM
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PaperDoll

Thank you, Nell. That means so much. I am looking forward to Christmas and holding the rest of my family close. We need to savor each moment with each person. We will miss Aaron's humor and love and we will remember he is with the Lord.
Carol

    Bookmark   December 21, 2004 at 10:50AM
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