Sharing your favorites...

bowdoin514December 29, 2005

I was wondering if anyone would like to share any favorite quotes, passages, sayings, etc., that kind of help us through the days and times when we are feeling down, or words that helped us through the earlier stages of losing our loved ones. Perhaps even sharing the same favorites our loved ones would share with us. Thank you for your input.

Emma in PA

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asolo

"To love someone is to know the song in their heart and, when their memory fails, to sing it to them."

E. E. Jones

    Bookmark   December 29, 2005 at 5:21PM
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socks

Nice idea, Emma, to share comforting thoughts. Here's one I like from the book "The Bridge of San Luis Rey."

"There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is love, the only survival, the only meaning."

The book linked below has a page and thought for each day of the year. I have found some comfort in it and even given it as a gift, although it is best not given too soon after loss.

Here is a link that might be useful: Healing After Loss, Daily Meditations for....

    Bookmark   December 29, 2005 at 9:13PM
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bowdoin514

Asolo and Socks,
Thanks both for sharing your quotes. I plan on making a scrapbook based on my 18 year old daughter, Erica's all too short life. These are sure to be in it. Keep 'em coming. I am sure we can all use them. They make you stop and think. I thank you.
Emma in PA

    Bookmark   December 30, 2005 at 4:51PM
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socks

Sometimes little thoughts can really help put things in perspective. I like the quote I shared because even tho' Mom is gone, my love for still exists.

My heart aches for you, having lost a daughter. I'm so very sorry. I imagine the ache must never completely go away. How nice to make a scrapbook. I'm making two scrapbooks, one for each of my sons, so Mom's pictures don't just sit in a box. I think she would like that, and Erica would like it that you are making a scrapbook too.

Take care, and best wishes for 2006.

"May each glimpse of the returning flowers in spring be like a conversation with my loved one."

    Bookmark   December 31, 2005 at 3:31PM
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bowdoin514

Thanks for your thoughts Socks. I think your mother would be proud of you to think of making your sons a cherished keepsake, for them to treasure in years to come. A priceless heirloom memorial. I have never done scrapbooking before, have some supplies, but have no idea where to start! And putting a lifetime into book-form just doesn't seem possible, but I'll get going on it.
Here's aquote I found last night while surfing...I'm sure any of us suffering the loss of a loved one can identify with this. Could have, should have...proper if we weren't able to be with them at the end, for whatever circumstances.
Emma in PA

"The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid, deeds left undone." Harriet Beecher Stowe

    Bookmark   January 2, 2006 at 7:53AM
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socks

Bowdoin, I've never done any scrapbooking either, and never really had a desire to do so. I am doing the ones for my mother, though. But along the way someone gave me some advice not to get caught up in the desire to have the book just be so perfect, everything perfectly cataloged and in exact order, perfect lettering, etc. Just get it done the best you can, and it will be wonderful wonderful wonderful.

As for your quote "The bitterest tears...", that's a good one. I'm so sorry for the loss you have suffered. Make that scrapbook, and I hope it will be most satisfying to do.

Susan

    Bookmark   January 2, 2006 at 8:42PM
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Nell Jean

Emma, I'm so sorry for your loss. I read your member page and know it is a keen and painful loss that you have suffered, as I have shared a mother's nightmare as well.

I did not make a paper scrapbook, but constructed an online memorial. Others here have done a similar project, many more formal than mine. The means is just a vehicle for putting a tangible face to our grief. I spent many long hours, pasting, posting, revising, mourning. It doesn't need to be perfect; it will always be a work in progress.

Time does not heal. We'll never be the same. However, in time, things become different than they are today. We move toward directing our sorrow toward support of others in a similar situation, or toward other constructive work. Good examples of how this works are posts by Susan and Lulie and Brycesmommy. We never forget.

Nell

Here is a link that might be useful: Sorrow's Bread

    Bookmark   January 7, 2006 at 12:27PM
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lulie1013

Emma, I'm so sorry for the loss of both of your children. You are so right. (I read your profile) It terrifies me to know that we are not immune to losing a second or third or fourth child. I have lost my only daughter and I pray I'll never lose my son or grandsons.
I have many favorite quotes, but one that I'll share today is:
"The dark moment the caterpillar calls the end of the world is the sun-filled moment the butterfly calls the beginning" Unknown Author
Lu

Here is a link that might be useful: Christin Cosby Memorial Web Site

    Bookmark   January 8, 2006 at 4:23PM
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chinacat_sunflower

My musically-obsessed father passed away last fall, and I've spent a fair bit of these last months having a full on broadway revival...

it actually started when dad was sick, and the breathing tube rendered him mute. I got in to the habit of singing for him all the old standards, like he did for me when I was sick- misquotes, mangled phrasing, and all. I'd listen to old broadway scores in the car on the way up, sing along through the tears, and walk in to the hospital bursting with memories and light to share with him.

now, I make it a point to make room once a week to sit down and watch a musical with my mom (we're on a Danny Kaye kick this month) and have been going through dad's record collection (bix beiderbeck, Paul Robeson - no wonder pop music's never made any sense to me!)

while 'you'll never walk alone' has left me crumpled in a heap a few times, singing it's healing (and I can hear my dad's baritone in the back of my head)

but the thing that really brings me comfort is burning candles that smell like baked goods (dad had allergies, and never cared for floral scents) so that there's a 'light' for him to follow.

    Bookmark   January 10, 2006 at 1:11PM
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