Loss of Both Parents
Hello everyone, I was reading some entries by other people and thought I would share my story with everyone. It does help to talk to people while trying to understand what it is you are feeling.
I lost my father two years ago, he was under the influence of alcohol and fell down a flight of stairs...he was a healthy man, 53 and died within a week of falling due to head trauma. It took me about a half a year for the feelings really to start showing through. I was attending graduate school at the time and went back to school thinking I could take my mind off of it. In the mean time my mother was bipolar and had an apparent prescription drug addiction that got worse after my father died. It was like I lost two parents at one time. My mother, 52 died soon after of an overdose from prescriptions (about 7 months later). Thankfully my neighbor found her in the kitchen of my house because I already have the site of my father's passing in my head which was in a more humane setting. My mother was down for 5 days and was apparently emaciated. I then found myself in my early 20's taking on the responsibility of my parent's estate. I have an older sister who I was not very open with. We had some rough times with my mom being bipolar, etc. and because a year earlier she took a credit card out in my name. We are becoming closer now since everything that happened. I have been finding that I constantly worry about other things in my life (especially my relationship) other than thinking about what really is making me sad, my parentÂs loss. I am very grateful for my girl friend and all of my friends, whom have lent their support, but what I really need to do is just let myself be sad and it most likely will be for a while. We sold my parents house a couple months ago and I graduated school. However, now that my mind is off of other things I find myself thinking about my parents more, which I believe is what I need to let myself do. Someone else mentioned that the pain will always be there in some form, but gets softer and quieter, so true. I also like Doc's idea of seeing the person in a positive manner, not in a negative way. I am happy to be alive and believe that these tragedies have made me a better individual, though I may not understand why at this moment.
My prayers go out to all of you.
Thank you to who ever is reading this and hope you have a good holiday.