Why do I feel this way?

gloriamDecember 21, 2004

Since my daughter Brenda died I feel that anytime that the

Good Lord wants to take me I am ready to go. I have never

felt this way before when anyone died. Also my other

daughter who lost her son a year ago in a car accident feels

the same way. Why do we feel this way? Is it when you lose a

child that this feeling happens?

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Nell Jean

One of my friends said about her near death experience in which she sensed the presence of her dead son,
"I thought, I have as many on the other side as I do here."
One of her daughters told her that her feelings were hurt.
The other daughter, who had lost a child, told her that she understood.

Losing a child is not in the regular order of life.
I believe that only those of us who have experienced such a loss can relate to those feelings.


    Bookmark   December 21, 2004 at 2:17PM
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Gloria, don't feel badly about feeling that way. It's not that we don't love the ones left here, but we desperately want to get to our child on the other side especially if we didn't get to say "goodbye". Maybe it's like we have "unfinished business" that we can't wait to "finish". I don't know that you all feel this way, but I'm guessing. I'm not even sure what my reasoning is other than the fact that I know I miss her so much and want to see her again.
I never have been afraid to die and would not mind going at any time either. I hate for my son and husband to have to grieve, though. My husband always says if I go before him, he won't make it. Of course he will, but that's what he says.
I always think that if people REALLY have faith and believe in heaven and that it is so much better than here, why in the world would they be afraid to die????? I guess it's the unknown.

    Bookmark   December 21, 2004 at 3:58PM
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Oh, it makes SO much sense to me! I feel that way at times. The pain is so great that it would be such a relief to go and be with Aaron. I remind myself that God decides how much time I have here as he decided for Aaron. I have many more people here than on the other side but this new raw grief is so hard to live with.

    Bookmark   December 21, 2004 at 11:35PM
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No, that isn't what i'm feeling PaperDoll. It is deeper.
Something that I feel all the time. Not just from the pain.
I don't want to leave now, I want to live for a long time.
I don't want to leave for the pain. I just feel when my
time is here I will be ready. I have never felt that before.
But I think it is what Nell said,Losing a child is not in the regular order of life. And that when my time is here I will
be ready to be with my daughter.

    Bookmark   December 22, 2004 at 12:12AM
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I didn't quite understand what you meant. I know what you mean now. I have lost the terror of death because my son is in heaven. I feel like we each have a certain amount of time on this earth. When his was up he went and so I can do it too.

    Bookmark   December 22, 2004 at 4:53PM
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