Am I overly sensitive?
My mom just died three weeks ago. She was ill for quite a long time and I had been her care giver for six years. It was difficult losing her, but I can now have a life again once all of her legal affairs are completed. Anyway, I have experienced some really inappropriate things and I'd like to vent.
For one, I've seen a few vultures circling and I've heard the beating of their low-flying wings overhead. "What are you doing with the house?" (I rented it out the last couple years of her life to help pay for medical expenses.) "Will you sell it?" "Maybe so and so can rent it because they lost their job (this implies that I give their kid below market rent)." One person told me their relative would love to buy the house, was pre-qualified for a mortgage that is less than 2/3 the value of the house, and would I be willing to carry the 1st on it!! Mind you, I never once initiated any of these conversations nor even remotely spoke about her estate. Let's see, I just missed out on several years of my personal life to care for my sick parent, never mind the sadness of it all, and now I should share the wealth with your distant relative.
Then there was the funeral. My mom wanted a closed casket. Her grandchild and I had something to place into the casket with her, and because he got caught in traffic behind a car accident on the way to the service, we had to place the items in with her just before she was taken out to the hearse. Everyone except for the pallbearers were asked to wait outside for privacy. A relative who knew what was going on, burst into the room stating that she had so speak with her husband (pallbearer) and she ran to the open box to have a peek at my mom!
Then there's the way some people express their sympathy. My adult step-daughter, whom I have known more than half of her life, told her dad to give me her condolences. An out of state cousin, who is a pastor mind you, sent me an e-card. I know he meant well, but if the fact that it was an e-sympathy card wasn't depressing enough, its message was twice as depressing, as well as cheesy. Had my mom's death not been a relief and instead a surprise, I think that e-card would have driven me to put a loaded gun into my mouth! The card was so terrible that I showed my two closest friends and we had a good laugh out of it; so I guess it cheered me. SO FOLKS - buy a real card and spend the 44 cents on the stamp, or make a phone call, BUT NEVER SEND AN E-CARD.
The thing is, these are all really great people, 99% of them anyway. And there were many positive experiences. I am just venting because of the surprising inappropriateness of it all. What happened to us as a society???????