For pigcrazy - Daughter's suicide

doc8404December 19, 2007

Pigcrazy - I took the liberty of starting a new thread for you - I hope you don't mind.

You said - "I wish I had the same kind of responses that you seem to be having. I lost my daughter back on 1/1/03 to suicide ~today is her birthday and I deal with major depression issues due to medical issues of my own and then I live with the fact that I saw my daughter shot herself in front of me. Anyone that says it gets easier over time I wish you could explain to me how because it is stills as painful as the second that it happened."

Please accept my sympathies on the passing of your daughter. I'm sure your pain is very great and the feeling of loss smacks you in the face everyday.

I can only tell you about my experience with my wife's suicide and how I have come to peace with it. Everyone's experience is different of course and your reactions to them will also be uniquely your own.

I would guess you have some mental pictures of some of the scenes that day that continue to pop up and torment you. I also saw some pretty bad things - although I know I saw them, I have made a conscious effort to not recall them. My pre-teen sons saw worse. Their counselor and I have worked hard to replace those last images of their mom with positive images. This is not denial of what they saw but rather reducing it in importance. Perhaps you could try a similar technique - concentrate on happy images and events that you two shared. It's hard to do but when I remember my wife, I picture her as a healthly, happy person - which in reality she wasn't for the last 10+ years of her life.

But the biggest help I found was talking through my feelings to anyone that would listen. Over and over and over until you are all talked out. That's something we can do for you here in this forum. Almost all of us have suffered some major event that resulted in crushing grief as you have.

We know what you are talking about and you won't upset any of us or be a burden.

Would you please come back and tell us whatever you feel comfortable to share? It may be very helpful for you.

Best wishes and prayers,


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Thank you for doing that for me because I really did not know how to start a thread on here.

    Bookmark   December 19, 2007 at 11:00AM
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Doc, you are amazing and can be a shining ray of hope to those with similar experience.

    Bookmark   December 19, 2007 at 6:37PM
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Our daughter committed suicide 10 January, 2007. She had attemptes on 2 different occassions, but failed. She had nerve problems for several years and was under medical care.
She leaves 2 sons, ages 6 and 10 who miss her very much. On 2 May, 2004 we lost our son to Lung Cancer. He and our daughter were very close, and our daughter took his death very hard. She hid this from her father and I. She would drive to the cemetery at night and sit at his grave for hours and talk to her brother. Her X husband didn't tell us about this until after she died. If he had maybe we could have taken her to the right dr.
The anniversary of her death is near. I know it has only been 1 year, but sometimes when the phone rings, I get really excited and just know it is her calling me. I can tell you, the hurting dosen't ease up. She was not only our only daughter, but my best friend, and I need to talk to her.

    Bookmark   December 26, 2007 at 4:56PM
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My heart goes out to all of you. ((hugs))

    Bookmark   December 26, 2007 at 7:08PM
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Bless you, PC and June. We have been here for Doc, and we will be here for both of you. I lost my husband to pancreatic cancer in April of this year - WOW, every day something comes along to pull the rug from beneath your feet, but you learn to cope - you have to - no one can deal with this tragedy for you.

Just try to take one day at a time, and feel free to email any one of us if you want to talk - we will listen - the best gift anyone can give you is a listening ear!

    Bookmark   December 30, 2007 at 8:47AM
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