I want my mommy!

need2healDecember 7, 2008

I want my mom and she is gone. I cant think, I am trying to move on. My kids are all split up, I am getting evicted, having anxiety and my fiance is drinking, I was too but that doesnt even work so I stopped. I have to move and am going to a different state before I am homeless. I had a great job until the market crashed. Everything feels surreal and I look at pictures and miss happiness.

My moms birthday is Christmas day. My mom lived with me and died suddenly on August 18th. I talked to her everyday of my life. I don't understand anything anymore and I am so tired and sad. I am apathetic and am going through the motions of trying to get happy about something. I am just venting this right now. I don't think there is an answer. I am a good person, I love Jesus if he is real. I have worked so hard to raise 4 children and have made mistakes. I feel like Job lately. I have been fearful and insecure. I was always strong and motivated. I feel weak, like a failure and so alone. My fiance has been here but I don't even know if I want to be with him anymore. I just want my mom back on earth.

Reality is and my wishes can't change it. Now I have to take my moms and grandmothers remains with me when I move because I can't afford to bury them. My dad has abandoned me and never helped me at all. I am an only child. I feel like my stomach is turning. Thanks for listening.

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debs3

I wish I could say something to make you feel better, but I know that right now nothing can ease your pain. My heart goes out to you. I have been going to free grieve support groups, it helps me to be around others who are feeling what I am feeling. God bless you. I believe Jesus is real.

    Bookmark   December 7, 2008 at 11:19PM
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loagiehoagie

My heart goes out to you. I understand your pain. I want my mommy too! I just know we will be together again and that helps ease the pain. Every day that goes by means one more day closer to seeing my mom again.

I don't understand your comment about keeping your mom and grandma's remains because you can't afford to bury them? That seems a bit bizzare to me. Can you explain?

Best wishes,
Duane

    Bookmark   December 8, 2008 at 7:25PM
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motherlode

i think she means her ashes-that is all it coud mean. how many times i have cried out-i want my mommy-even in my 50's-that need for comfort only leaves us when we do. It is now over a month but hopefully need2heal will come back and see we do care-take care and god bless

    Bookmark   January 16, 2009 at 11:24AM
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