How to deal with the death of two close people in one year.....

madeline83November 5, 2008

Hello everyone,

My name is Madeline... My mother went to god on the 31st of March this year... Also, a very good friend of mine went to god three days before my birthday on June 16th... Although they both passed in different ways, and I cared about them both in different ways, this is very difficult for me... I have never had anyone close to me die before, and then bam I have two very close people to me die months apart. All I had in the world was my mom, and my daughter... Now the only person I can talk to and trust fully is my 4 year old... So, you could understand that it kind of sucks because I can't say much to her, or get advice... My mom died of kidney failure... She had diabetes and didn't take care of it, so she started to get heart problems... The night I finally found her in her room swollen very much I called the hospital... I should've went with her because it was my responsibility. I always went with her because she was scared of the hospital... I didn't go thinking I would go the next day. The last thing I got to hear her say was that she was scared... Her heart stopped and was revived three times during the night, and no one from the hospital called me till the morning after she died... My friend Brett died on on sport motor bike... Some say he was stupid for how fast he was going. Some say it was the ladys fault for running the red light... All I can say is there is no blame, he's just gone... Now after all of this I can't help, but fear death. I fear everyday my daughter dying by choking on something... I don't really fear death for myself, but I fear the state of pain it will leave my daughter in... Specially if I wound up dying in my bed and she woke up and found me and couldn't do anything because she's four years old... I know it's pretty far fetched, but you never know... I had attempted therapy, but it's so hard to get into they only have certain days and times that you can sign up, and only take so many people a day........ Anyway, I thank you all for listening. If anyone has any tips on living life normal again, let me know...


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I am so sorry that you lost your Mom and your best friend,please accept my sympathy. Grief does cause your mind to be very irrational. Unless you have any current problems threatening your life you know that it is highly unlikely that your daughter will have to find you dead in your bed. You and your daughter are going to be together for many years to come, through school, college, boyfriends and marriage. Grief takes a long time before you will feel better but it will happen and you will feel better, so remember that it is just grief playing tricks on you. Hug your daughter tight, love her with all your might and be strong for her, she loves you and will always be there for you to love. God's Blessings for both of you.

    Bookmark   November 6, 2008 at 3:35PM
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Madeline, in 18 months I have lost 8 people in my life. In 6 months I lost three of these 8 that were very dear friends. The last one that passed was from suicide and she was my best friend. I am coping.

I would suggest you try journaling, it has helped me a great deal. To be is full of joy and wonderful things..My daughter is expecting her first child! Also it is true that life is full of miserable times and deeply sad times. All of us on the plantet have those up and down times. So know that life is not picking on you. This is just life as it is and you are not alone in this. Accept your mixed up feelings and cry all you need to. You have a little one there and she needs you. You have lots of happy times ahead of you.

    Bookmark   November 16, 2008 at 1:39AM
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