my husband

baggytrewsNovember 12, 2008

my husband died suddenly 6 weeks ago,i feel so lost and sad

we had been together for 30 years,i dont know how to move on, or what to do with my life.

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Hi baggytrews,

I cannot even begin to imagine the depth of your grief. I understand your feelings though. I lost my Momma last August and the world has not been the same for me since. I feel lost and sad alot of the time now. It is getting better for me but I will tell you it is only a little at a time.

The first month was horrible, I could not stop crying if I had wanted to but now.....I have my moments, about two weeks out of the month, that I am horribly depressed and sad and I cry my heart out.

There really is nothing I can write/say that will make you feel any better but I do know from reading the posts here that there are other women that have walked in your shoes and have felt or are feeling your pain.

Remember, love is more than a feeling and forever is more than a word. The love you share with your husband will never die. Everyday you are here you are one more day closer to "being" with him again.

Bless you, may you find some measure of peace to begin enjoying the time you have left. I believe I must get up and face the day to make my Momma proud. I try to keep the following in my mind -

And for my sake
and in my name,
live on and do
all the things same
Feed not on your lonliness
on empty days
but fill each waking hour
in useful ways.

This is what I believe my Momma would ask of me and I try....boy, do I try.

Blessings to you and we are here if you need to "talk".


    Bookmark   November 13, 2008 at 12:26PM
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Hi Baggytrews. I'm so sorry about your husband. It'a been almost 8 weeks since my husband, too, died suddenly in a one vehicle car wreck. We were married 33 years and it was NOT supposed to be this way. He told me many times he couldn't live if I died but I always expected to go first anyway. I, too, feel so lost and sad. I don't know which way is up anymore and I often wonder how I can continue to live. I know he would hate me to grieve and mourn the way I've been doing but I don't know what else to do. I've been sitting here teary eyed and weepy for an hour now and I want to talk to someone but I don't want to. Talk to me if you'd like....


    Bookmark   November 15, 2008 at 5:34PM
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I forgot to say you can email me if you'd rather.


    Bookmark   November 15, 2008 at 5:42PM
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I know the feeling also, my husband of almost 32 years (would have been December 18th) died November 6th and I still don't which way is up. I have good and bad (very bad) days.

I am going to see a psychiarist (sp??) tonight and hopefully that will help somewhat.

Sheryl - NJ

    Bookmark   December 22, 2008 at 3:01PM
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Dear Baggytrews,
I am so sorry that your darling husband passed. I see that you are from the UK, I am from Sunderland but I have lived in the US for 44 years and my darling husband of 37 years passed two years ago Nov. 23. You are going to cry a lot and for a long while but it will get better, slowly. After two years I have less crying episodes but when I do they are right from the soul just like in the beginning. The holidays are particularly hard and that is the same for everyone.A grief group can be really helpful and a psychiatrist can also help.You don't mention if you have children.

I am so sorry that your darling husband passed. Two years ago someone on this forum said that we are now members of a club we never wanted to join, that is so true.

I am so sorry that you lost your darling husband too. I just can't believe that we are all November widows. It is good that your are seeing a psychiatrist mine really helps me; yes I still go after 2 years.

Please accept my sincere condolences, be good to yourself, cry when you have to it's the only way to deal with the grief it will take time. My heart goes out to you.


    Bookmark   December 26, 2008 at 11:59PM
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